rules to live by

[techs]

Unwritten rules from that highly over worked, but highly under paid technical support staff of a computer support department near you...

1. DO NOT call us and complain about a problem with your system and then say you're not in front of your computer when we try and help you. We aren't technological psychics.
2. DO NOT call us assuming the problem you're experiencing is our fault. If your computer crashes, performs illegal operations, gives you the blue screen of death, or flips you off and runs away with the toaster to Mexico, you can be damn certain it isn't us who caused it.
3. DO NOT call us and announce to us that you don't know anything about computers. This really pisses us off. Trust me, we're well aware of that fact. We figured it out the minute you called and announced, "Help, the Internet is broken!" Something here definitely needs help. People who know computers don't call us.
4. DO NOT call us and act as if you know all that are computers and that you're doing us a favor by gracing us with your call. This pisses us off more than #3. Chiming in with stupid suggestions and comments only increases the already tremendous temptation we face to use you as an unwitting instrument of destruction and really do some damage to your system. Not that you'd notice.
5. DO NOT (in addition to #4) say acronyms you don't know the meaning of or even what they are for. Just admit that you're completely lost and leave the techno bulls**t to us.
6. DO NOT call in if you can't speak the same language we do. This might seem like a small thing to you, but we find it just a tad annoying when we try and assess your problem and we can only understand every fifth word you say. And no, just because those words may be 'computer' or 'broken' doesn't absolve you of the offense.
7. DO NOT call in hoping to get another tech rep to tell you something different than the first one did. If one of us tells you your system is screwed, it's screwed. The second guy is going to simply look at the log and tell you the same thing, it's screwed. That is of course unless you really piss him off and then he's going to make sure your computer has the functionality of a house plant.
8. DO NOT be stoned or drunk when you call us. You wouldn't think this would need to actually be said, but believe me it's come up. For goodness sakes, if you can't control yourself and must call, at least have the common courtesy to offer us some.
9. DO NOT tell us that this just happened on its own, as if your computer suddenly was inspired to break for no reason. Simply admit what you did to cause this, so we can help you fix it that much faster. Trying to salvage your pride will only make it worse, because we will find out what you did anyway, and then we will REALLY be annoyed at you for wasting our time.
10. DO NOT expect us to educate you in the most simple aspects of using a computer. If you can't figure out the difference between a right-click and a double-click, then you really shouldn't be using one in the first place. If you insist on doing so anyway, then take a class. Or you can pay us $45 an hour to teach you, because we won't do it for free.

This is an edit to the above(9-26-00):
Holy SH*T. I hadn't looked at this since i posted it, and now there are like 60+ replies.I received this from one of my customers who thought it was funny, and so did I. PLEASE don't take it seriously. It was for FUN. It does not necessarily reflect all my attitudes(although some are right on).
I posted this right after i had this experience: Customer says he can't connect to his isp. This is afer he brought me a new boxed modem that i installed, and showed him in the shop it worked by connecting to my isp, which is the same as his. he brings it in,I checked it out, and changed all the settings the isp had changed attempting to get it to work, and it connected again from my shop. Charged him $30.00(minimum fee) He eventually found out it was a problem with the wiring in his home. he calls back asking for the thirty dollars back because there was nothing wrong with it when he brought it in. I gently explained the situation and he understood. Afterwards I was thinking,"I go to the Doctor for a checkup. he says i am in good health. Next day would i call him and ask for the money back because I was healthy?"


[This message has been edited by techs (edited September 26, 2000).]

[klenard]

Amen brother, Preach on Father Techs.

[Damned Angel]

Damn i'm glad i broke my phone.

[shawnMt]

Yep, that pretty much summed it up.

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GENERAL FAILURE READING DRIVE A:
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?

Paint your old laptop! (http://www.auwebdesign.com/shawnpages)

[NeuromancerIV]

damn.
that was every arguement I've had in my head in the last 24 hours (and past 15 years!!) rolled up into a page long rant! LOL

thanks Techs!

[gotbyk]

Slap that on the side of every new PC!

[3fingersalute]

don't forget rule # 11:

When you walk through the door with your computer in hand, you can go ahead and take whatever diagnosis or suggestion that your mother's sister's little nephew's hampster's neighbor who is really good with computers gave you and shove it right back up there a$$...because that's more than likely where they pulled it out of!!!

I mean, if they knew what was wrong and want to tell you what needs done to fix it, why didn't they just do it then?

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WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO TODAY?......Not that it matters, because Micrsoft will crash on the way there!!!

[Renée]

You're preachin' to the choir, but MAN are you preachin' RIGHT!! Amen!

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GeekGirl
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[Kit]

RULE 11: NEVER insult, bug, bother, pester, annoy, talk smack about, etc. sny technician WHILE he still has your computer. If you do you can be sure that it will NEVER work right again.


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Want a faster system? Switch the power switch on the power supply to read 230w. You'll almost double your power. By the way, does anyone eles smell somke?

[thirdfey]

#12
If the sign on the door says "Employees Only," you damn well better stay out. I don't care how much you'll pay or say you won't touch anything.

#13
No you can't watch me fix it. No one says, hey doc, can I watch you operate on my mom in the operating room and if you can just explain everything your doing.

[Kinslayer]

hey, Kit, did you know that if you really did switch the switch on your powersupply to 230w it would give your motherboard LESS power, it would also give LESS power to all of your other devices? in Europe, 230w is the standard wattage coming out of the walls, so you switch your computer to 230w to INCREASE THE RESISTANCE, and deliver the PROPER 12v to your devices.

I think this whole thread is a load of ****, why? because everyone has problems, and it is your *deleted* job to help them. Just because you know more then them, (and I have talked to alot of so-called help desk people who know MUCH less than I did five years ago, and the fact that I've had to teach them things) doesn't mean you can *deleted* them around. Next time one of you *deleted* goes to the *deleted* mechanic, think about what you have said here, and then think about how gracefully the mechanic deals with YOUR ****.
Yeah, I have called helpdesk places for my ISP a few times, and I know the 'technicians' are dumb as posts when I say "I just finished re-installing windows, I need the main access number (or whatever) and the mail server addresses" and they reply with "What operating system are you using?"

**EDIT Kinslayer you took the language waay overboard there. Don't use this board just to insult people - shawnMt

[This message has been edited by Kinslayer (edited September 24, 2000).]


[This message has been edited by shawnMt (edited September 24, 2000).]

[Phatboy]

OH GOD WAS THAT FUNNY!!
KinSlayer, shut the F*CK up.
We're just here having some fun.
Don't like it? Then go back to your AOL Chatrooms and leave the driving to the real f*cking techs, A**HOLE.
The point of the "rules" was NOT peoples lack of ability, rather the ATTITUDE they have like we're their f*ucking plummer.
I don't want to hear from you again.

[Sowulo]

Geez, lighten up already. Actually, I encourage my clients to pay attention and ask questions while I'm working. An informed customer is a good customer. And I get really bored fixing the same old thing over and over and over...I'd rather have a happy customer who feels more competent and wants to try new things which means I get to $ell him/her something new. Oh yeah, the referrals aren't bad either...15yrs of steady income.

[This message has been edited by sowulo (edited September 24, 2000).]

[gbbone]

Kinslayer,

Read Kit's footnote again. It's obviously a joke. If your knowledge of electrical theory was as good as you seem to think it is you would have understood that.

P= I x E

Remember that basic formula from Electricity 101? Oh wait, maybe you don't have a degree...

Get off your soap box and have some fun here. That's obviously what this thread is about.

[myarema]

Procedures for working with the IT department

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting
glimpse of yours.

2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

3. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password.
It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

5. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

6. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

7. Send urgent e-mail all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

8. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.

9. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can fix your telephone line from here.

10. When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call computer support. We're collectors.

11. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description
of the problem. We love a puzzle.

12. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

13. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.

14. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

15. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

16. Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "My thingy blew up".

17. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

18. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 20kg of computer sitting on top of them.

19. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a
pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.

20. When you get a message saying "Are you sure?" click on that Yes button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you
wouldn't be doing it, would you?

21. When you find an I.T. person on the phone with his bank, sit uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he
hangs up. We don't have any money to speak of anyway.

22. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer crap". We don't mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.

23. When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call I.T. support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely
complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional engineer with a master's degree in nuclear physics.

24. When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having
to deal with a third party who doesn't know anything about the problem.

25. When you receive a 30mb (huge) movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. We've got lots of disk space on that mail server.

26. Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller chunks. Somebody else might get a chance to squeeze a memo into the queue.

27. When you lose your car keys, send an email to the entire company. People out in Pofadder like to keep abreast of what's going
on.

28. When you bump into an I.T. person at the grocery store on a Saturday, ask a computer question. We do weekends.

29. Don't bother to tell us when you move computers around on your own. Computer names are just a cosmetic feature.

30. When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the office, leave the documentation at home. We'll find all the
settings and drivers somewhere.

31. Keep it crashing!

[TechRomeStar]

LOL, most of the list +more are things I heard daily for the past 8 years. hehe I understand that this is our job but, you can't help but get annoyed at some of the comments that these customers throw @ us. Even if it is our jobs to help these people some of the things that these customers say to cover something they did or something they bought on techs. A majority of the time customers have to realize that you get what you pay for and a mojority of problems are caused by them themseves (the end user). They should be angry at themselves, if you come at us in the wrong way then you get whatever the tech dishes back to you. The angry guy with the comments and angry words is obviously someone who was holding for way too long or feels victimized by some odd nameless tech @ a shop.

[Rejection Man]

HAAHAH good stuff, love # 12 Myarema, almost all of it is true.

Personal Worst: Reciving a note (instead of a work order) with a name and Phone number attached to a system taken by someone else in the office from some one who is just droping it off for their neighbor, and left their name and number with it, becasue their friend/neighbor is on holidays, and i wouldn't be able to get a hold of the owner anyway.

Why do some of these people bother??

[jbar1]

Techs...You hit it right on the head. After some 20 years+ of trying to solve everyones computer problem I couldnt have summed it up better. I guess my real gripe is that no one wants to listen when we explain how to not have the problem again. Like stay a wway from Norton,Dont download that free program that you dont need, and above all stay out of the registry. "Gee you fixed it last week you must not have did it right" We are the second one they call, The first to blame and the last to hear a thank you. Unfortunatly the computer becmae an icon that everyone had to have and most were not ready nor could they understand how they worked. I mean how do you explain that their 486w/16mb ram and a 320mb hd will not run the latest ver of flight sim and because they paid $3500.00 5 years ago they are not ready to buy a new system. In view of all this I still love what I do and just try and rool with it

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If life is a bitch then what is death? I believe I will take the bitch!

[I'mafteryourjobbozo.com]

Want to know what really makes the world go round? it's A-holes like you Mr.Rules to live by... Let me clarify my comments so it doesn't go over your head like the job description that was provided when you took
your job in customer service!! Hey wait a second, wheres my head, you sound like the PC
All Mighty. I should be much more respectfull
of a master technician like you that obviously knows nothing when it comes to applying the vasiline so dummy's like me who might spend a little, maybe even a lot when it comes to these simple little dilemas of the cherished machines that sit on our stupid little desks in our stupid little houses in our stupid little neighborhoods paid for with our stupid little checkbooks..
Hey I could go on for hours because your attitude really makes me sick but it's not worth it in your case. I just take my problems elsewhere when I come in contact with service professionals like you. Ooops,
did I say professional? Well I didn't mean too.
Rest assured "Mr. I can fix it for you if you shut up and kiss my butt" man, I'll be looking for you if I ever decide to change careers and pick up where I left off in my
former position of customer sevice training and mechanical repair and engineering...
Last but not least I'd like to inform you that the Good Humor folks are looking for help so guys like you will always have a job.

[format c:]

Hey Phat boy watch your language , Save it for the back room at work when the PC goes belly up
I enjoy reading the posts here but we as techs must watch our language especially if we work with the public
I agree with one thing Stupidity rules the human race

Originally posted by Phatboy:
OH GOD WAS THAT FUNNY!!
KinSlayer, shut the F*CK up.
We're just here having some fun.
Don't like it? Then go back to your AOL Chatrooms and leave the driving to the real f*cking techs, A**HOLE.
The point of the "rules" was NOT peoples lack of ability, rather the ATTITUDE they have like we're their f*ucking plummer.
I don't want to hear from you again.



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Format c:( I'm givin er all she's got cap'in !!! )

[sprkymrk]

Hey imafteryourjobbozo (aka kinslayer) did you really teach customer service? I can tell by how nicely you got your point across that you have much more class and grace than all of us. Why are you so ticked off? I suppose you will berate me next.
By the way, in case anyone is interested the other big difference in electricity here and Europe is the frequency. USA 60 cycles/sec and Europe 50 cycles/sec. Makes a huge difference.
I like all the funny posts, keep them coming!

[Ratznium]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Kit:
Kit, WRT your quote... I have my Voltage switch set to 230v all the time. It doesn't run any faster http://63.236.72.252/cgi-bin/forum/wink.gif.
(Some of us live in places like Australia.)

[DR]

Phatboy- I object!

I'm a plumber and that's no reason for people to give me sh*t. Well you know what I mean. I've noticed that it doesn't matter which service field that you do the customers are basically the same. I have friends that are electricians, HVAC, Doctors and lawyers. We all have our horror stories.
But... this IS a tech site and that is where techs get to blow off steam.
I also want to thank everyone who has helped me and shared their knowledge. I am going to have to switch careers (arthritis) and I love working with computers. I still get to build something and make it work. Thanks again for allowing me to be here.

Dale Reed

[Interex]

There is nothing wrong with what we techs are doing here. We are simply telling people what anoys us most when we deal with our customers. It may seem as if we are insulting them but how else can we say it. We are technicians and we deserve a break with some laughs.

[korpse]

This is the funniest topic i've seen in a long time...but...
Sorry this is really pissing me off. The 230w is actually 230v. The formula is V=IR so setting the power supply to 230v would increase resistance (current doesnt change) and the pc would lose performance. On the other hand setting a power supply to 115v in europe would fry almost everything in the pc.
So basically gbbone, if your knowledge of electrical theory was as good as you seem to think it is you would have figured that out.

Originally posted by gbbone:
Kinslayer,

Read Kit's footnote again. It's obviously a joke. If your knowledge of electrical theory was as good as you seem to think it is you would have understood that.

P= I x E

Remember that basic formula from Electricity 101? Oh wait, maybe you don't have a degree...

Get off your soap box and have some fun here. That's obviously what this thread is about.



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"You dumb bastard...it's not a schooner, it's a sailboat!"

[goldmeier]

Great post!!!

[jvalliere]

Ha Ha Ha HA Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha(snort) Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!!

(Sound of side ripping open, followed by thump of me landing on floor)

Ha Ha Ha HA Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha(snort) Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!!


Thank you!!!! I printed this and have hung it in my cubicle!!!!!

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I keep hitting Escape...Why am I still here??

[NessManFazz]

Rule 2543: Do call me. Unlike the rest of this sorry bunch of wankers, I do like to help people, and I'm damn good at fixing stuff, be it a computer, TV, Video, Amplifier, Speaker array, Guitar, Drums... anything. And I do it for free (people often throw a case of beer in my direction, just to say thanks!). So all those bitching about helping people, Smeg Off! I hate people that whine about this crap, grow up. Why'd you get involved in a help desk anyway, if you knew how bad it was going to be. Losers.

[the^0rion]

That is sooo funny...actually I don't know whats funnier: The Rules (I like the I.T ones better) or the complaints. The Rules are pure sarcasm...not complaints but basically a summed up picture of the typical BS a tech has to deal with. Everybody experiences this stuff in whatever field you're in, and everybody does the same sarcasm bit, so quit complaining and let us have some fun!!

[re-boot]

I really hope that this is just banter between techs and this is not how you come across to the end users. We are, afterall, here to support them.

[khyber]

Originally posted by techs:
Unwritten rules from that highly over worked, but highly under paid technical support staff of a computer support department near you...

1. DO NOT call us and complain about a problem with your system and then say you're not in front of your computer when we try and help you. We aren't technological psychics.
2. DO NOT call us assuming the problem you're experiencing is our fault. If your computer crashes, performs illegal operations, gives you the blue screen of death, or flips you off and runs away with the toaster to Mexico, you can be damn certain it isn't us who caused it.
3. DO NOT call us and announce to us that you don't know anything about computers. This really pisses us off. Trust me, we're well aware of that fact. We figured it out the minute you called and announced, "Help, the Internet is broken!" Something here definitely needs help. People who know computers don't call us.
4. DO NOT call us and act as if you know all that are computers and that you're doing us a favor by gracing us with your call. This pisses us off more than #3. Chiming in with stupid suggestions and comments only increases the already tremendous temptation we face to use you as an unwitting instrument of destruction and really do some damage to your system. Not that you'd notice.
5. DO NOT (in addition to #4) say acronyms you don't know the meaning of or even what they are for. Just admit that you're completely lost and leave the techno bulls**t to us.
6. DO NOT call in if you can't speak the same language we do. This might seem like a small thing to you, but we find it just a tad annoying when we try and assess your problem and we can only understand every fifth word you say. And no, just because those words may be 'computer' or 'broken' doesn't absolve you of the offense.
7. DO NOT call in hoping to get another tech rep to tell you something different than the first one did. If one of us tells you your system is screwed, it's screwed. The second guy is going to simply look at the log and tell you the same thing, it's screwed. That is of course unless you really piss him off and then he's going to make sure your computer has the functionality of a house plant.
8. DO NOT be stoned or drunk when you call us. You wouldn't think this would need to actually be said, but believe me it's come up. For goodness sakes, if you can't control yourself and must call, at least have the common courtesy to offer us some.
9. DO NOT tell us that this just happened on its own, as if your computer suddenly was inspired to break for no reason. Simply admit what you did to cause this, so we can help you fix it that much faster. Trying to salvage your pride will only make it worse, because we will find out what you did anyway, and then we will REALLY be annoyed at you for wasting our time.
10. DO NOT expect us to educate you in the most simple aspects of using a computer. If you can't figure out the difference between a right-click and a double-click, then you really shouldn't be using one in the first place. If you insist on doing so anyway, then take a class. Or you can pay us $45 an hour to teach you, because we won't do it for free.
I agree with you 100%, actually these school dropouts do not have the basic knowledge, but have bought a computer and whenever a minor error takes place they are flabergasted. Iwill tel you a real story of a person in usa who had recently bought a pc and was not sure how to operate it and I taught himhow to get logged on the directory and we started talking , when he learned Iwas talking from Pakistan he was amazed and thatwas 3 years ago and when i switched on my webcam and he could see he nearly fell off the chair. Such is the level on computer literacy in usa. The world is full of morons and usa takes the lead

[CondoPC]

Are we really losing the whole idea of these posts?
It's tech humor. NOT CUSTOMER SERVICE 101
We all know customer service. When you have to deal with problems, it is good to let off steam will some fellow techs than it is to let loose on a customer. If you didn't laugh at even one of these, then you really aren't a tech who has dealt with many people. If you want to teach or learn customer service, go to school or start a new thread. Otherwise, keep reading and keep your spirit up.
I mean, really! If we really treated our customers like this, or if we had this kind of attitude towards our work, would we still be here?
Wouldn't our customers put us out of business? OH, come on and laugh. Remember, This is the "Tech Humor" BB.

[DDDWarp]

People, calm down. This is just for fun. I managed a computer repair store for two years and everything mentioned in the rules happen to me. I never made fun of the customer (except once when a customer tried to return a motherboard that he strapped to the case without spacers). But I love to talk to other techs about our frustrations with customers. What I do not like about customers is that a group of them always blame you for their problems when we did not have anything to do with it. I understand that it is their frustration about their computer not working. That is whey we need this forum to let our steam out.

[jasonmeek]

I think these are good rules.. they are funny because they are true. If you worked in computers for even a little while, you would know what all these rules are about. I agree 100%. As for the people complaining about these rules, I have one thing to say. (You either have not worked on computers long, or you don't live where I live! hehe) http://63.236.72.252/cgi-bin/forum/smile.gif

There are a lot of people out there that need to see these rules. But there are also a lot of good people.. people that are nice to talk to. I enjoy helping honest people that don't get angry when you try to help.

I don't mind if people know nothing about computers.. I don't mind helping them. Some people are just too stubborn and unwilling to learn anything! This is what makes our job harder. (And no, I didn't know how it would be when I took the job.. this come with 3 years experience!)

[AlienDyne]

1. Bring along all those CDs containing your machine's drivers. We aren't supposed to have a copy of them and we definitely don't need the manuals. We know the installation way.
2. Don't say you are a friend with our bosses. You won't be treated better. Besides that, we hate our bosses and all their friends too!
3. Don't call us every half an hour to ask what's going on. We have some job to do too.
If you can't wait, take a nap!
4. No. You can't install Windows 2000 on your i133, 32RAM machine.
5. No. We can't fix your machine at home. A doctor can't operate someone at his home, neither can we.
6. If your modem is burned by the phone line, call your phone-company. We don't teach our modems how to burn to make you get a new one... yet.
7. Don't say you need your machine today. You do your job, we do our. Everyone needs his machine today. If that's true, try not screwing it up! After all, that's your problem. Not our.
8. Keep away your coffee from the keyboard. If you're falling asleep, get some sleep right now.
9. Your machine is not an astray.
10. Backup your damn documents. We aren't supposed to look them up for you.
11. Don't try to make a friendship with us. We'll treat you the same way as we did before.
12. Don't yell at us. We are not afraid of you! Besides that, we can yell you back!
13. If you need a new machine on Friday, come to order it on Wednesday. Not Friday morning!
14. Bring along the Windows handbook too. No. We don't use installation instructions, but we need the Product Key!
15. Don't bring all those stupid cables. We use our own!
16. When you call us on the phone, you must to be awake. Speak more clearly or else we can't hear a thing.
17. Yes. You can use our restroom.
18. No. You aren't allowed to smoke. We smoke cause we spend too much hours in here.
19. Don't say you are taking Hardware courses. If we were the same, you wouldn't be here!
20. If you need some coffee, get it on your way here.
21. No. We don't know how to make your cellular receive faxes.
22. No. You can't exchange your old 486 with a new one.
23. Quit downloading porno stuff. Get a life!
24. If you can't, get a CD-R and back it up. We won't take it home.
25. Don't come back after two hours. We fixed it, remember?
26. If something's wrong, ask yourself first.
27. Yes. The warranty voids if you overclock your processor.
and finally...
29. Forget all the above.
We need your money! http://63.236.72.252/cgi-bin/forum/biggrin.gif

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"Matter is passive. In spite of its power, it can't be controlled without the human mind." Sokrates

My Hardware Info, Hardware Media and Computer History page (http://www.geocities.com/alienhardware)

[joelsplace]

I do realize that some of you are just being silly but I get the idea that some are serious. I'm not sure where you find these customers but God has provided me with much better ones. I charge $75 an hour and no one ever blames me for their problems. They seem to be happy with my work. I don't mind answering any questions they might have and they can watch if they want to. They are the ones paying for my time. "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, To those who are called according to His pupose." Romans 8:28 Since I have been made right with God I know all things work for good in my life and I am grateful for the work He has provided for me. I really enjoy my work too. joelsplace@earthling.net

[oldman]

i don't want your cd's
most are outdated

keep your fingers out of your computer, you may pass the virus along to your work

backup up all your important info to cheap preforamatted floppy disks,

definitely give us your life history, we don't need the computer system problems,

don't blame us for all the worlds problems, we didn't give birth to you

when you do come in, use all the expletives you know, gives us an indication of your iq and inbreeding

i do make fun of the customers, to the rest of the staff,

if we didn't you would not want to bring it to us, we may meet you at the door with a shotgun,

[Nigmafyr]

Hey Joel can i come work for you?, I had a One year stint at radioshack and I encountered the weirdest and not to mention(saying this as nicely as possible) dumbest people this planet has to offer. Consider yourself lucky to charge that much american and have them like it. We charge about 60 dollars an hour canadian and kiss their proverbial ***, and they still hate us even though their computer runs like a well oiled machine. You are one of the lucky few and I unfortunately am not. Just the same i love my job as do most of us.


Excellent thread keep it going, and keep out the non techie screamers!!

------------------
"And You Say Self-Important Egomaniac Like It's A Bad Thing" Maxim

[Sckott]

Sorry if this comment resembles some in here, but...

...Is it me, or are most of the real clueless customers we all have OVER 55 Years of age?

Someone over that age group once said to me, "I'd know what to do if I had your kind of experience". I really thought to myself, "You're at *least* 60. How much more experience do you want??"

>End of rant.
-Sckott

[urukhai]

Per usual extreme responses here. I guess I enjoyed the post cuz a lot of times those thoughts go through my head. But that comes with the job. I'm paid to support people and yes certain people seem to do amazing stuff to their pc's - mind boggling stuff at times - but I'm paid to fix it. So I smile and take care of business. But inside my head - heheh.

I guess the only irritating "customer" I find is the one that repeats mistakes and kills lots of time with each mistake AND has no desire to learn or stop making them. Drives me nuts and they do eventually get dropped to the bottom of the list for response time (especially after finding out that no matter how good the system runs they'll find an excuse to complain) - others that strive to improve their skills or at least make attempts to improve (or at least try not to keep making the same mistake over and over again) are better taken care of. Keep in mind folks some people use technology as an excuse to NOT get things done - if they can say it's too slow or crash it and kill time so they don't have to work - they do.

Final note, cuz of how I've been treated as a tech support person I've found I'm extremely nice and forgiving to those that repairs my cars, water heater, furnaces etc. Take some donuts down to the mechanic shop some saturday morning before they work on your car - some coffee too. Stay out of their way and be polite. You'd be amazed at the "extra" care you'll get. . . Funny thing is - I learned all that from doing the opposite of the way I've been treated. . .

Good post . . .

[BullTech]

All I see is people venting frustration by being humorous. I believe that the people getting upset (I'mafteryourjobbozo.com) are stung by the words because the words have more than a little truth in them. I am a professional technician, and I have seen almost every "type" of customer calling in to fix a problem...and the worst ones by far are people who have some kind of engineering degree. They will sit there and talk about how brilliant they are, and how long they have been working with computers, but yet have trouble when you ask them to go to the "start" button...Please folks, if you have trouble with your system, have your child call in so we can get the issue fixed quickly.


------------------
"There are Three types of lies. Lies, damn lies and statistics"-Mark Twain

[WinKrushR]

Originally posted by NessManFazz:
Rule 2543: Do call me. Unlike the rest of this sorry bunch of wankers, I do like to help people, and I'm damn good at fixing stuff~~~Losers.

All that is great and dandy, but sounds to me like you've never been truly busy and been expected to help the 4 or 5 friends fix their smouldering heaps of Packard Hells at the same time. If you can juggle a career, social life, and being the neighborhood/community computer nerd, then power to you. Just hope it doesn't get busy. All that 'I'm damn good at fixing stuff' attitude will probably change in a year or so.

I enjoyed the attention for about 6 months, then figured it out. I do outside work for two kinds of people: The kind that pay me outrageous amounts of money ($1000 for 3 network drops), and family. If I do work for everyone that asks me, the swampage would be horrible.

------------------
"uhm...I'll be over there...in the corner near the rocket launcher spawn point" snickersnickersnicker

[WinKrushR]

One problem for any Network Admin:
(note: our T1s are controlled down the street at the County Courthouse...I just control the proxies)

ring, ring...
"Hello?"
"Hey...did someone turn off the internet? I can't get Internet 'Splorer working"
"I'm sure it'll be up in a minute. They're probably rebooting or something down at the courthouse"
click...

two minutes later

ring, ring...

"Hello?"
"Hey...you turn the internet back on again? I gotta check my bids on EBay."
click

Quite obviously, when I installed our network I forgot to include one of those danged old Internet switches that you turn it on and off with. I think I'll go down to the hardware store and make a replica of the big electric switch from "The Green Mile" and every time someone asks about it, tell them to go check the switch. Hook a 12-volt battery to it so the sparks will fly when they push it to "ON"!

[This message has been edited by WinKrushR (edited September 25, 2000).]

[hi_tek]

doEsN'T AnyOnE WoRK HerE?

[jasonmeek]

I agree, Joel.

But where I work, the stress is really bad sometimes. I also get nervous when sombody is watching me as I work.. some people are not like this, I guess... but I am. So it only slows me down.

Most of the time I am the only technician that works on the broken computers in this computer store.. If there is a bad storm or something, usually there are lots of computers to work on. Sometimes I have 3 or 4 computers trying to work on them all at the same time. (if sombody tries to watch, I have to drop what I am doing on the rest of them)

I think some people out there knows what I mean. I don't mind working on computers, but I do mind being rushed.

I try my best now to just work on one system at a time, but most of the times that is impossible.

[u4ia420]

I got another one..

11. If you are going to call me for help, LISTEN to what I am saying. I am trying to help you upon your own request.

i have been doing dialup tech support for 4 years now and i understand entirely.. the not listening thing was the one that always pissed me off...

[glitch]

You can't forget these

If you call complaining about how slow your computer is running. Try shuting down the letter to grandma, the minesweeper game, the MP3 blairing in the background, and the email your trying to send first.

Also

Just because you have a slot big enough for a CD to fit in doesn't mean you have a CD-ROM. Older computers came with a 5.25 floppy.

------------------
-Glitch

[BadCache]

Customers:

1. Don't tell me you can get it cheaper at Best Buy or another warehouse store, I will tell you to go for it.

2. Don't come in and tell me that you got it cheaper at Best Buy or the other warehouse store, because after you pay the bill for the repairs and the inconvenience you will wish you were not so cheap.

3. I will not illegally load burned software with a product key written on a scrap of paper, so don't try.

4. Don't tell me that the "other" guy did, I will not change my mind and do it for you and I will report the "other" guy.

5. Do not tell me how smart your kid is with computers, if he/she were so smart I would not be fixing what they wrecked.

6. Do not tell me how to do my job and I will not tell you how to do yours.

7. I am not an orphanage or old computer pound. Do not leave your old equipment on my doorstep.

8. The bill will not change no matter how many times you ask.

9. Don't come in for parts and think that you will install them yourself with me helping on the phone.

10. If you see me on the street or out at night, do not come up and start asking computer questions. My business hours are Xa.m. to Xp.m.

11. If you can't pay the bill, don't ask for the service. My time is money and I don't have enough of either.

12. I do trade labor for labor. (Oil change for computer diagnostic) Don't expect it every time I see you.

13. Don't come to me for a shoulder to cry on or a friend to talk to. I am very busy trying to fix your problem and cannot get it done any sooner if you are right there.

14. I will carry your equipment in from your car if you ask, don't sit out in the parking lot and honk your horn.


Techs:

1. Don't laugh out loud. Wait until they are gone then laugh. Just remember that we all started somewhere and we probably asked a dumb question or did something dumb.

2. If you can trade labor for labor...go for it. I get all kinds of stuff for free or real cheap for a few minutes of labor or advice.

3. Carry business cards with your office hours on them. It helps get rid of the "leeches" that will and do bother you when you are out on a date or with friends, trying to avoid work.

4. Don't let someone bully you into doing something you do not want to do, or give them deals. They always know someone that will expect the same.

5. If you ever meet Driver Guy buy him a cold one.

BB Members:

1. Don't take everything so serious, we are all in the same boat.

2. Don't flame someone for having a good time, not everyone gets to sit at work and surf the Internet. Sometimes we techs need to vent.

3. If you don't like what you are reading quit going back to the same thread...move on!

4. Don't keep changing your name...we CAN figure out who you are.

5. Nobody knows everything and I have never read anybody say that they did...quit the accusations.

6. Don't put someone down because you don't like his or her ideas or methods. Your answer is not always the correct one.

7. Have fun.

Ok I said my peace...Flame away!
I am wearing my flame retardant underwear!


------------------
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! Story at ten!

[Flip Chip]

Oh, and rule #16 or #17 (Who's counting):

DON'T bring in your system and then proclaim that you didn't get your OEM #, original software, or documentation.

[Ugo]

I just hope you guys or girls never have my Mum as a customer. She calls me to ask me what happened to her e-mail in hotmail when she saved it (she pressed the refresh button). Yesterday, I saw her trying to turn on the TV with the calculator's on button. I can't charge my Mum though, if I could, I would be a millionaire.

[jazzisdn]

I work (well, RUN) at a local computer shop.

Down here I buy, sell, repair and whatever your computer.

Here's some of my peeves:

1) Just because your computer is 10 years old, doesn't mean it's an antique. You wouldn't believe how many people try to sell me an old 8088 computer that they claim is worth at least a hundred dollars because it's older than me.

2) I need your power cords. I collect them. Then when I forget what cord is yours, tell me it's the grey one with a funny connector on the end. "Oh, THAT ONE..."

3) When you come in, tell me your computers life history. While your at it, tell me YOUR life history. Heck, I'm not only a computer tech, I'm also your therapist.

4) Leave all your illegally copied software in the CDROM drive. I won't notice that you don't have a CD Writer...

5) When your harddrive crashes, BLAME ME FOR ALL YOUR DATA LOSS! I used telekinetics to force your heads onto the platter. I knew you'd be back...

6) Heaven forbid you remember where the driver discs for your modems and network cards are.

7) Just because your favorite screensaver you used on that ancient 286 doesn't work on your new Athlon, go ahead and assume that your 286 was faster and had more functionality.

8) Mention that you are going to school to become a technician. That way, I'll know that when you say "I think my UPC is having an RIQ conflict with my soundcard," I'll assume you know more about the problem than I, and then I'll proceed to not fix it, since you already know more about how to fix it than I. Then bring it back so I do nothing again. "Man, I thought you fixed it. Howcome DOOM doesn't have sound under Windows 2000?"

9) "Can you please install this game for my kids?" Sounds simple. Yeah. This game requires at least a P2 233 with 32MB ram, a 3D accelerator card and 1.2GB Hard drive space. When I tell you that your 6 year old Packard Bell won't run it, say "BULL****!" That way, I'll know that you looked on the box BEFORE buying the software.

10) Call me on the telephone and tell me your modem isn't connecting to AOL. I am also an AOL technician.

11) Assume since you can get a computer at Best Buy for $800 with a $800 instant MSN rebate that I'll build you the same thing for less. Then when I tell you It'll cost you around $1600 for that P3 800MHz computer, get pissed, call me a crook and make sure to slam the door on the way out. Enjoy that $21 a month for 24 months you'll have to pay. > http://63.236.72.252/cgi-bin/forum/smile.gif

12) To all the other local computer shops: Please come waltzing in my store and call my 1GHz Athlon system a piece of crap. It's junk. That's why I'm selling it. "What? You filed for Bankruptcy?"

13) Ask me what's wrong with your computer, then when I ask what the problem is, bring in a piece of paper with a list of all the missing .DLL files, as well as a printout of your 3-year-old scandisk log file. Remember. I'm a computer tech. "I dunnow none of 'dat 'Puter stuff."

14) When I tell you I'm gonna wipe and reload your system, and you give me the okay, make sure to call me 30Min. after you get home and ask where all your documents went to. "Oh, those? I took them home and read them."

15) Just because I hooked you up to your ISP doesn't mean I service your internet problems. "What?!? Whaddya mean? I have to plug my modem into the phone jack?"

16) Get pissy when I told you it'd be tomorrow morning before I got it finished, and you showed-up at 5:00PM the same day you gave it to me. "Just checkin'."


17) "Hey, my cup holder broke. How do I fix it?"

18) "I bought a new monitor with a prettier background on the box, but it's the same one as on the old monitor"

19) "Hey, how do I get the business cards out of my card reader?" "What? A floppy? OH! You mean those hard disks! I wondered where those went to."

20) "My CPU's blown! It'll show the cursor, but this foot pedal they gave me with the computer doesn't seem to make it do anything."

[herb]

techs and myarema...well said =) For the people complaining about what these techies say...this is something we say internally. We don't say this stuff to cust's. It's like going out for a beer after work with your fellow techies and bitchin about your days of work.

This post definately made me laugh =) Thx

herb

[Gabriel]

*.When i finished fixing up the computer, Do blame me for the phones/electricity/water not runing...
*.CDROMs don't fit into 3.5"FDD
*.It works Better if you plug it in, it works Far Better if you turn it off...
*.Do not Expect me to reckon EVERY Aspect of computer apps/hardware. I am a system person, not an Oracle
*.Try to be more specific - When Yahoo Tray icon makes Sh*t of your computer, don't state that "The internet does'nt work"
*. Try installing cables the right way.
*. No, I will not come to your home and fix your phone line.
*. Yes, Formatting/Partitioning HDD says loss of your data, i am not responisble to back it up.

[rob246]

Well Guys,
Im not a Technician im one of those lower lifes (the neighbours sisters Hampsters third cousin, who knows computers) but i know what you mean, i have numerous friends, and quite often people i dont even know who ring up asking me if i can solve their probs. More often than not they cant distinguish between a PC and a Toaster, havent got a fri**ing clue what they are doing or have done, if you ask them for details of what has gone wrong you get half illiterate answers. I wish i was a Technician at least i would be getting paid for dealing with the crap i have to put up with, I.E. My computers running really slow, it takes ages to boot up, only to find that said person hasn´t defragged his Harddrive in the last 142 days, or my personal favourite the person who called me asking me why windows 98 ran so slowly, only to find out he had installed it on a 486 with 16MB of ram, so please dont be so hard on us people who try to help on the side at the end of the day 1) Its the idiots with more money than sense, who screwed their PC up in the first place who are at fault (i mean if ive got a few grand to spend on the latest hardware i should have a few hundred over to visit a computer course) 2) At the end of the day you are the lucky ones who are getting paid doing IMHO the best job in the world.

[dangleberry]

Hi PEOPLE,

wELL ARE YOU NOT A LOT OF DUMB f***s.
who would want to play a computer when there are still abacus's around.
I got a pc and it is realy useful for keeping my mail flat. As for memory, it remembers F**k all. I asked it my name and it could not remember

bye luvvies

[EagleEye69]

Those were very accurate and great...keep up the good posts...



------------------
EagleEye69
"The Eye is watching..."

[tick]

I LOVE it when a customer insists on watching...I explain in great detail, while working...they try to follow it, but say nothing to save face--I LOVE the look on their faces; and the way they say "Yes, you are soooo right, what school taught you this? You learned it all on-the-job? WOW."

[qball]

Unwritten rules from that highly over worked, but highly under paid technical support staff of a computer support department near you...

[mental post-it to myself]
Hummm, Let's try work as much as I want and get paid extremely well....
[/mental post-it to myself]

I have little pity for you. You complain about something you f**ing choose to do.

Go out and find something you like to do, and do it as well as you possibly can and make YOUR world a better place.

Tech support is the lowest rung on the ladder. You have the potential to learn and work with some cool stuff/things/jobbers. You're also gonna get pooped on, people call you because THEY have problems and need HELP. If you don't want to accept this fact, fine, quit else sh*t *p. Use your superior, voluminous technical knowledge to get a better job.

End angry diatribe.

[Ragmol_TankMan]

My hand to God this is true.

Today a lady called my departement. She insisted that her Word2k needed to be reloaded because she was getting errors when trying to modify a document.

When I got there, I thouroghly asked her what the problem was and all she could say was that those darned blue screens kept coming up over and over.

So my next step was to ask her what she was trying to accomplish. Well it turns out she was trying to merge two documents together in word at the same time. No biggie, but for the life of me I could not figure out how she was casing GPF's.

I rebooted her comp and opened the first document and then asked her "What do you need from the second one?" She said she needed only two paragraphs from the second document. LOLOLOLOL.

I showed her how to "Cut and Paste" and she was BLOWN AWAY.

Incredible, some ppl have the dumbest things trip them up.

Anyway, I know it's not as funny as most of the other stuff but I'd thought I'd contribute.

Ragz

[MAYHEM]

REAL rules for a good, healthy life:
1. A croissant may taste better than a caraway biscuit, but it isn't any smarter.

2. NEVER goose a bull... no matter how much fun it looks.

3. A goat with three legs is a rare sight, get pictures.

4. Fish dont like Jello.

5. The average cow defacates more than the average duck.

6. A bathtub full of otters is damn fine entertainment for the money.

7. Never marry an ugly woman, takes the life right out of you.

8. You can lead a horse to water, but if you can make float on his back then you've got something.

9. The primary difference between men and women is that women are searching for the one man who can satisfy all their wants and needs. Men are looking for all the women who can satisfy their ONE want and need.

10. Never chase after women or buses, you can't catch them unless they want you to.

11. The day you have notions about getting married, find yourself an ugly woman you hate and just buy her a house. Same result only quicker, and then you can get on with you life.

------------------
Who the hell is General Protection and why is he messing with my comuter?

[theycallmestick]

hey do what i or my bro-in-law did.
he got lucky and got a great entry level job. now he's a mcse,mcp+i,cne,cna, & ccna. that's impressieve and very respectable even among us techs. I quit my techie job and joined the Army to become a Linguist in the Intelligence Division. Yes customers suck most of the time b/c we're always too expensive or they forget to mention extra problems to us. So get more certifications and move up the ladder or try to get out. I escaped the cubicle police and you can too. have a great army day.

[QwertyBob]

The sad fact is most of these posts I've read are true and happen to most tech people who've spent some time in the industry. My pet hate is customers who call up on the telephone or come into my stores and tell me the problem with their computer. Then they repeat themselves two or three more times just in case i didn't get it the first couple, usually with a glazed expression on their face. Maybe it's just me.

Regards,
QwertyBob

[jayner]

just a couple more.

No, we will not take your 386 in on trade for a new system.

We dont sell any used computer equipment for free or less.

and most of all you can NOT borrow one of our windows 95/98 cd's.

be cool, some customers have bought me beers.
Jayner.

[msn_tech]

It's rewarding to know that humor is still alive in this field. I have a museum shelf of old computers given to me expecting upgrade or repair including Apple IIe's, Commadore, Texas Insturment, TRS80's, etc. If it wasn't for the fact that no one understands everything about the IT field employment would be scarce.

Take a breath, fold the CD in half, and push hard until the button on the floppy stick out. We'll be right there to remove it http://63.236.72.252/cgi-bin/forum/biggrin.gif


------------------
Favorite Customer Quote: I need help, my thingy doesn't work!

[techs]

hey, its me, the guy who posted this thread. i edited it. please read the edit of 9-26-00

[Cavedog]

This made my night,had a great laugh!!I'm an Automotive Technician at a dealership and we get alot of the same customers.Today we had a customer with a 2000 Cadillac Deville who swore up and down that his cruise control wasn't working.So he was yelling at the service manager saying that he just bought this car from us and paid $44,000 for it,so we better take it in right now and fix it.Well it turned out the idiot didn't read his owners manual and would just turn the cruise control on and never push the "Set" button when he got to the speed he wanted to be at.So after we told him this he just grabbed his keys and left without any apology!! Where do these people come from?
And for all those people on here that are flaming the techs for blowing off some steam...GET A LIFE!!!!!!

[Gumby]

It has been said but I shall say it again. This is just us techs blowing off some steam. Nothing more and dont read anything into it. Having said that, a bit of advice to the non-techs: you can save your money and time by doing one thing-reading. Windows will help you out if you take the time to read what it is asking you. I bet this would really cut down on my on the phone time with you(which would be great as I am a bench tech not a phone support tech) I actually really like the (for lack of a better word) ignorant customers. They pay my stores owner the $85 per hour we charge to fix their stuff and that in turn pays my FAT check. One last parting shot(read a point of humor) It is NOT cost effective to pay me $85 per hour to troubleshoot you out of your own personal AOHell. Get a real ISP http://63.236.72.252/cgi-bin/forum/smile.gif

------------------
There are no computer problems that an arc welder and a blowtorch won't fix

[crazyspider]

customers i like are the ones that have to ask about every single check box/radio button and read off EVERYTHING on thier screen like you dont have a clue what your walking them threw...and the one i had today "is this going to wreck my computer" (do they not trust the people they call for help?)

[Sowulo]

Crazyspider--you finally got the one that pushed my button. There is this one @#$%#$% woman who has to read out loud every message on every screen every (yes, that's 3 every's in one sentence) time I change/replace/add new hardware/software!!!!! Aaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh.....

[Monkey_bangin_on_computer]

Obviously, though this is more often than not correct, you haven't talked to or heard from anyone who spoke to AOL tech support (that's like calling a worm an advanced species). I had one, after my wife's parents contracted a trojan, tell me that there was no way to fix it and that the computer HAD to be formatted and windows reinstalled. After the second or third call I finally got someone with an IQ over 10 and she directed me to a web site that had detailed instructions on how to remove the trojan including removing registry entries, load line from the win.ini and a few other startup places and virus files. (It was fairly entrenched in the system.)

Anyway, this was A-typical of AOL's reps, you generally have to call more than once and just say, uh huh, uh huh, right, ok, did that, and so forth to humor the ones that just got out of their 2nd semester of working on 286s at their local Jr. High.

[dangleberry]

Hello everyone,

Looks like all you people across the pond are having trouble with Tech help lines.

Well you should all invest in a ticket to the UK. We have very little trouble. My
Windows 3.1 and Dos 6.2 are running realy well with no problems whatsoever.
Can Anyone please tell me what Windows 95 is?

Lets get back to having some fun

[Polychronopolis]

Isn't this the TECH Tales section? I guess that just goes to show you.. Some people just fail to notice their surroundings...

I felt the urge to post this one.. An old friend of mine had a comment in his signature file. It went something like this "If people cared for their body in the same matter as they do for their PC, you wouldn't laugh too hard when you found someone trying to remove their own appendix with a spoon."

Nothing is better than someone posing as a technician returning a part. They come into your store give you a seemingly valid problem with their hardware. They hand you the sweat covered memory board they just shoved in their back pocket without an anti-static bag. To entertain their needs, you try to place the chip in a PC, and you find the DIMM has been permanently warped to the curve of their butt cheeks!!!

--So says Polychronopolis..

[BullTech]

<<<Tech support is the lowest rung on the ladder.>>>
Excuse me? The lowest rung on the ladder? Well if that's so, then I'd rather be on the bottom than to be a soulless sales or marketing person. What's the difference between a computer salesman and a used car salesman?..........The used car salesman knows when he is lying. I work in tech support, and I get to talk to the "upper" rung of customers when one of my first level techs has to escalate to me cuz the expert customer can't get the system attached to the network. After I have the customer run the echo exchange test, and the card works fine at the HW level, I ask them if they can ping other systems, and of course they can (they neglected to mention that at the beginning) After that, I then advise them to contact their network admin to check the config, and of course the ubiquitous answer " But I AM the network administrator!!" SO it seems that the "upper" rungs are drooling fools. Give me the lower rung baby.

------------------
"There are Three types of lies. Lies, damn lies and statistics"-Mark Twain

[theBeast]

To all those junkies who are upset at the post... Get a life...
Like it has been said over and over again...this is a place for us techs to blow off steam, and release some tension where we otherwise can't.
I deal with a large share of idiots...I don't tell them that to their face...I just smile and nod and be as polite as possible...it's my job, and I deal with it. Some days I just hate my job...like when a customer thinks I'm a bad tech because his icons are in a different location...some days, I love my job...like when a customer comes in with a bottle of strawberry wine for me because I did a great job fixing his computer.
We also aren't the only ones who have our complaints. Automechanics suffer from customers who lack common sense. As do dishwasher repair men, doctors, lawyers, TV repairmen....
Dealing with the general public is the hardest job. Everybody reacts to situations differently, and people are hard to predict.
Also, the tech is most often the one to blame when things go awry. Some people accept copyright law readily. Others go flying off the handle because you won't install their single user liscence of Windows 98 on 3 machines.

------------------
***the Beast
- Fate drove me here...then told me to get out of the car...

[bobkra]

Originally posted by Kinslayer:
hey, Kit, did you know that if you really did switch the switch on your powersupply to 230w it would give your motherboard LESS power, it would also give LESS power to all of your other devices? in Europe, 230w is the standard wattage coming out of the walls, so you switch your computer to 230w to INCREASE THE RESISTANCE, and deliver the PROPER 12v to your devices.

I think this whole thread is a load of ****, why? because everyone has problems, and it is your *deleted* job to help them. Just because you know more then them, (and I have talked to alot of so-called help desk people who know MUCH less than I did five years ago, and the fact that I've had to teach them things) doesn't mean you can *deleted* them around. Next time one of you *deleted* goes to the *deleted* mechanic, think about what you have said here, and then think about how gracefully the mechanic deals with YOUR ****.
Yeah, I have called helpdesk places for my ISP a few times, and I know the 'technicians' are dumb as posts when I say "I just finished re-installing windows, I need the main access number (or whatever) and the mail server addresses" and they reply with "What operating system are you using?"

**EDIT Kinslayer you took the language waay overboard there. Don't use this board just to insult people - shawnMt

[This message has been edited by Kinslayer (edited September 24, 2000).]


[This message has been edited by shawnMt (edited September 24, 2000).]

Hey Kinslayer, you've really impressed us with your knowledge - ever heard of ohm's law? I didn't think so as you obviously have no idea of the difference between watts and volts. Yup, you sure know your stuff.

[Patchkit]

Good stuff. This one of the best threads I've read in a long time.
Hey I understood what qball was talking about the lowest rung. Techs are the first line of defense against the computer illiterate. They are also the lowest paid in the field. Not to say most of them are not paid well. I moved in to the networking field about a year ago after working bench and phone support, and any network admin had better be able to work as a tech, or else he/she isn't worth the paper their degree or certs are printed on. I hope we can all troubleshoot a bad NIC or replace a processor, or we are in for some serious hurt. I like networking better than doing tech support, my toys got bigger and my customers got smarter. As for those people who's feelings are hurt, go get a sense of humor, I hear that they are $1.99 at walmart this week. That's just my opinion.

Let the bitching continue!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you set a laser printer to stun?

[techguy2ndclasscitizen]

Keep em coming... every add-on I laugh a little harder.
I've been doing onsite tech for about 8 years. Ive dealt with all of the above customers and stupid comments over the years.
a couple that havn't come up yet....

just because i've been to your house once doesnt mean that i remember your address,phone #, etc. I ask for these things in my voicemail announcement for a reason... yes this does apply to you...

No. I'm sorry but you can't get a refund for the part you bought from me 12+ months ago.

When i tell you we can't upgrade your 486 computer... don't pull out a flier that came with it and circle the Upgradeable section... they havn't made those components for 3 years.


I have no problem with a customer watching me work on their computer... they have a lot of money invested in it and they have every right to see that I'm not tanking it. They pay me 65$ and hour and i often get tips.

I tipped the guy that fixed my lawn mower the other day... you should try it the next time you have your car worked on. 8-)

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"to err is human" meaning; its probably not really the computers fault.

[pm4345]

I agree with all of the posts. My only two bugs are:

people who buy the hardware to install themselves (because they are too cheap to pay labor), and then call later for "tech support for installation".

being a tech is like being a doctor. everyone wants free advice, and wants it without me looking at their computer. sorry, not a pyschic.

excellent thread. very funny.

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Say what?

[QSECOFR]

2. DO NOT call us assuming the problem you're experiencing is our fault. If your computer crashes, performs illegal operations, gives you the blue screen of death, or flips you off and runs away with the toaster to Mexico, you can be damn certain it isn't us who caused it.


I completely agree. Our proxy server went down, which killed our Client Access sessions and all the accounting department was bitch at me when it wasn't even my fault. So I made it take longer to "fix" the problem (6 hours).

[QSECOFR]

#30: Make sure your users take care of you. Don't let them make you think that they are doing you a favor to get you something you need. You are doing them the favor of asking them to do something for you.

[wardy31]

Here is one of my favorites... "how do you sign the signature box?"

[tregee]

Ohh how I would love to use that as my disclaimer form I send out my user names and password on to every new user who keeps me paid.

[LORE]

People who buy stuff from me, and install it themselves and come back in 2 days and tell me MY part broke THERE computer SUCK!

People who stand and watch me fix there computer because that way i won't take breaks or do ANYthing else are wrong, and suck.

People who can't take a joke, and realize that the reason we are saying this stuff here is so that we can bite our toungs and be nice to our customers. Any steam blowing or compaining I do here helps me A LOT in my ability to not loose control with an extremly incompitant customer. IF you don't like what you read here, poke your eyes out with a hot stick. http://forums.windrivers.com/cgi-bin/forum/biggrin.gif Or better yet, go back to your AOL chat where you belong!

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We may be through with the past, but the past is not through with us.