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January 2nd, 2001, 03:18 PM
#1
 MS does it again
In an unprecedented move today by Microsoft and RedHat Inc, the future of the PC platform was revealed to be a new Microsoft OS. Chief Officer of Technology, and former CEO, Bill Gates took center stage today at the PC Electronics & Mechanics Expo to announce the details of WinLinux 1.0. Under agreement with Linus Torvalds, head Linux creator and geek guru, along with RedHat Inc, Microsoft has been able to merge the Windows API to a Linux Kernell. The new system, now currently dubbed WinLunix MS 1.0 will be officially released on 2002, with a pre-developer release coming as early as this summer. Gates did demonstrate some development screens of the new os for the excited, but puzzled crowd of vendors.
WinLinux will feature a completely GUI based startup screen that will display a Linus Penguin in chains behind the famous 4 pane Windows icon. After a few seconds the Linus Penguin will be shot and executed on site by a Quake III Arena bad guy wearing a red hat. The os will then display the new WinLinux desktop, which some users may be familiar with as it is exactly the same as the MSN home page. Any time a user tries to click on any of the links, a new PAY-IT-NOW dialog box will swoosh in ala MacOS X style and ask you to type in your credit card number and exp date. Only then will you be taken to the link's resource. Gates did not have details at press time regarding how much it would cost users to access things like Control Panel, Outlook, the Internet, or Word, but he did state that the Recycle Bin would be the most expensive, since research has shown that most pc users tend to forget where they put things and somehow always end up deleting things anyway by accident. Gates promised secure data retrieves from the Recycle Service and added that the Recycle Bin, or WinTrash 2002, as it is now called, will offer complete file recovery features and is of course Internet aware. Meaning if you deleted something from another WinLinux computer anywhere on the Internet, you could also retrieve that. Fessing up, that WinTrash is really now a separate tcp/ip port service that basically steals your data completely and puts it out on a Microsoft DataCenter Server, in case Microsoft or the government want to press charges against you, they will have some computer evidence in hand when the time comes... came as a complete surprise to chief Microsoft CEO Bill Palmer.
But for true computer geeks, WinLinux will offer true threaded tasks and total memory protection. The system is virtually crash proof, stated "Linus Torvalds" as he picked up his pay check from Gates after the Expo presentation. When asked how this would effect Linux distributors, Torvalds response was "Red Hat made some money on the deal too!" Never boring and chief Apple iCEO Steve Jobs was also on hand with promises to deliver a new iMac that would come bundled with a WinLinux emulator that while being binary compatible with the new WinLinux format, would feature iMac colored skins and of course the same functionality of an Intel machine running WinLinux but with the added benefit of only using a one button mouse to do the same tasks as the two-button pc mouse.
Gates also announced a WinLinux for Palm and WindowsCE users by 2003. In fact the WindowsCE port only needs minor modifications to be compatible, but since the PalmOS port will take significantly longer, Microsoft wanted unveil a portable version of WinLinux for all platforms at the same time.
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Just a joke. 
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Thank you for calling, how can I hang up on you today?
4 out of 5 voices in my head say, GO FOR IT!
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January 2nd, 2001, 03:54 PM
#2
ROTFLMAO
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What we have here is failure to communicate
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January 2nd, 2001, 05:14 PM
#3
Very creative. Very amusing. I think you've been inhaling the ozone from your laser printer for just a bit too long now!
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[ i N S A N i T Y 2 0 0 0 ]
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January 3rd, 2001, 08:43 AM
#4
*sniffle, snort* I don't know what you're talking about.
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Thank you for calling, how can I hang up on you today?
4 out of 5 voices in my head say, GO FOR IT!
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January 3rd, 2001, 10:15 AM
#5
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January 3rd, 2001, 10:34 AM
#6
Well Gate isn't doing it yet, but last night while researching a problem I was having w/ my Linux box; I stumbled across some files that would (at least theoretically) allow you to run Visual Basic apps under Linux (and no I'm not talking about a Windows emulator).
*shudders at the thought*
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Thank you for calling, how can I hang up on you today?
4 out of 5 voices in my head say, GO FOR IT!
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January 3rd, 2001, 11:03 AM
#7
You had me there for a min. But Uncle Bill didn't , not that he wouldn't , But no he didn't. really thought the new logo was cool. But hay don't give Him any more ideas
He has enough of his own. (lol)
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If all else fails read the directions !
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January 3rd, 2001, 11:50 AM
#8
Registered User
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January 3rd, 2001, 01:39 PM
#9
I admit it, you had me up till the discription of the start screen. Nice bit of fiction. Lets hope it stays that way (fiction that is).
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January 3rd, 2001, 02:37 PM
#10
Check out this site:
http://www.redmondlinux.com
lt was a joke kindof like the one above, about how MS-Linux bought Cuba and tried to take over the world. Of course, it was hacked and is down right now...but maybe it will work later.
And there is a real "Redmond Linux" (redmondlinux.org), which has the scariest name of any linux distribution l've ever heard.
EDIT: sorry, wrong site. The linux l meant to mention earlier is http://www.mslinux.org
[This message has been edited by BreakWindows (edited January 03, 2001).]
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