The best ficticious computer terms ever!

[WinKrushR]

I love made-up terms, whether or not they're close to the original definition. Anytime we had a customer that was just fishing (the ones with no money, no brains, and no idea about technology), we pulled out a few homemade terms:

Turbo Mega-Quad
clearly some kind of advanced technology

Pentinnyum or Admantium
the newest processor

The On-Die Cast
A shock absorber for your processor


These usually got a pretty good smirk from any other techs or salesmen that were nearby.

We've all heard some great ones from customers: PCU, PDU, CDU (CPU); the screen saver/background confusion, kilo/mega/giga interchanging, etc.

What other made-up terms have you heard from customers or made up yourself?

------------------
"uhm...I'll be over there...in the corner near the rocket launcher spawn point, m'kay?" *grin*

[pga]

had one customer last year ask me what my opinion was on KY2....

must be some type of advanced lubricant....

[WinKrushR]

LOL...must be so you can get more pipeline in your RAM when you're interfacing.

[ledrichard]

Ever get the dumbass that when asked what Os is installed on their machine, they reply "huh.....windows 97?" or "huh....word perfect?"

------------------
hey its me again!

[CobraTekMax]

I love the people who think that their computer does NOTHING but access the internet. Meaning they think that from the second their desktop and start menu loads up, they are connected to the internet.

[CobraTekMax]

I love the people who think that their computer does NOTHING but access the internet. Meaning they think that from the second their desktop and start menu loads up, they are connected to the internet.

------------------
Clatu...Verata...nnnn...necktie...nectur...nickel. ...it's definately an "N" word...

[furlong47]

I like the people who still think floppies are only the 5 1/4" kind...my roomate went to buy a new 3 1/2" floppy drive when the old one croaked (of course I wrote down all exactly what she needed) and she told the salesman "I want a floppy drive, but I don't put floppies in it I use 'the other kind of disks with the hard case' "

[shawnMt]

Replace the Fleemistat Module

Or maybe you need to tweak the P-RAM

Could be a bad canooter valve

------------------
Paint your old laptop!

[NeuromancerIV]

Just make up acronyms! ,"Yessir, the pca WRP extension was causing a BRQ conflict at the windat expansion port."

Almost any 3-4 random letters will work

--------------
"Your html is weak and your lcd is HPA."

[Jallentino]

"your Wobble-ometer is way out of synch"

[Jallentino]

When people call me on the phone, I always ask them if their sitting at their computer, It's amazing how many of them are not. When I finally get them planted in the chair, I tell them "Oh, Now I see the problem, There is a short between the chair and the keyboard"!

[This message has been edited by Jallentino (edited October 06, 2000).]

[goinpostal]

"you are getting errors in your POS system"

POS(Piece of S**T)

There is also a program out there for techs called "Rob's snappy answers" it randomly generates BS tech sounding reasons for PC and Network errors http://www.softseek.com/Home_Family_...174_index.html

These should fool most users.

------------------
--The Internet -- It's not just for porn anymore!!!

[Kit]

Can someone get me a cable strecher?

------------------
Wanna get more power outta your PC? Flip the switch on the back or the power supply to 230w. You'll almost double your power! Anyone eles smell smoke?

[Jgold47]

My favorite is to tell little blue haired ladies that the problem is deffinately located in her FLUX CAPACITOR. carry it on for a while and try not to laugh.. if she starts asking too many questins, start talking about the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity needed to work it and that her cheap korean powersupply dosent cut it. but tell her you can fix it anyways

[TheLow1]

I have allways liked ...SOL Adapter (SH** out of Luck)

The ones I have heard from self proclamed computer gods.

Him:Yea, I just upgraded to 64GIG of ram.

me: Did ya?? Wow must be nice, my wife won't let me get above 256MEG.

Him: How about CompUSA has a 45 megahurtz Hard drive for $99.

Me: Yea well I saw a 45GIG for the same at Best Buy.

If you are going to speak it, Learn it first.