[RESOLVED] Stupid thing users say that make you laugh!

[Riker!]

Ive heard some classics, some of my best are

1. Win95 is a 16bit os and Win98 and WinME are 32bit...........
2. I got 64 meg of hdd space
3. I cant read this Zip disk cause its 16bit and NT is 32bit..... <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">
4. The universal printer driver from HP that works on all models of printers, user using HP 4000 driver for all his printers (different brands as well).... hmm how come they dont work.
5. I need a extra 64 meg of memories

[unknown4x]

lol...
what about i've got 20GB of ram... and 64 MB of HDD space.. have people come in all the time saying that... play a joke on them... would you like to upgrade to 30GB of hard drive space fore only 119$... and they'll look at it you and say whoa! thats cheap for 30GB of hard drive space..

[Riker!]

hehehehe yeah thats a good one. <IMG SRC="smilies/cool.gif" border="0">

[NakedMessiah]

I am comfortably numb from all of their stupid knowledge. I try not to laugh, but this one came in and said that they want to add 16 hard drives on to their computer.

[Wayward Clam]

My boss is famous for mismatching his terminology. He's always discussing "20 Megabyte Digital Western" hard drives with customers. Wow! 20 whole MB!!! Also, the salespeople can't spell worth a darn, so far on our sales floor they have managed to misspell every major chip type except the Duron (waiting for that one next):

Pentuim
Celloron
Athalon
K-62
Cryix

These are actual things that have been written on our in-store signage and out of store advertising. One of our radio ads even said "Systems with the newest K-sixty-two processors!" Ye gods and little fishes.

Oh yeah, and the other thing the boss can't wrap his tongue around is PCMCIA. No matter how he says it it ends up being only 5 letters long.

[Scuba]

Originally posted by NakMess:
<STRONG>I am comfortably numb from all of their stupid knowledge. I try not to laugh, but this one came in and said that they want to add 16 hard drives on to their computer.</STRONG>

No problem-
for a Small fee i will give you a Dual Channel U160 SCSI card that can support up to 15 devices on each channel.
Now all you need is a mobo what have 64Bit 66Mhz PCI and we are done <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">

[Scuba]

Originally posted by Wayward Clam:
<STRONG>Oh yeah, and the other thing the boss can't wrap his tongue around is PCMCIA. No matter how he says it it ends up being only 5 letters long.</STRONG>

Try to get them into saying PC Card..... they might just be able to make it right.

I was in the Armey,
we had a Track - model R10 -Yep oficial name was RIO <IMG SRC="smilies/rolleyes.gif" border="0">

[Jube-ster]

This isn't so much of a user thing as just an every day thing, but I hate this.. when people say stuff like "PIN number"... which translates into Personal Identification Number number... and when you're booting Win2k... "Based on NT Technology"... doesn't that mean it was based on New Technology technology? Or how about "TCP/IP Protocol"... That's three uses of the word protocol...

Just a pet peeve

[ßracius]

Originally posted by Wayward Clam:
[qb]My boss is famous for mismatching his terminology. He's always discussing "20 Megabyte Digital Western" hard drives with customers. Wow! 20 whole MB!!! Also, the salespeople can't spell worth a darn, so far on our sales floor they have managed to misspell every major chip type except the Duron (waiting for that one next):

Pentuim
Celloron
Athalon
K-62
Cryix

[qb]

AMDEE

[Windowscrash]

Is it legal to plug this cable into the phoneline? <IMG SRC="smilies/rolleyes.gif" border="0">

Somebody really did say this when I showed them how to use the Internet...

[rscos]

I posted this a couple of topics ago, but it's worth repeating IMHO:

a user asked me to "format their modem"

I advised them to leave it connected to the phone line during the next electrical storm.............

[Miphnik]

I had a couple bring their printer back to me because when they installed it, the printer keep giving the a "default" message.

A woman brought her laptop in because she couldn't connect to the internet with it but her desktop worked fine. Asked her to show me exactly what she was trying to do. She wasn't plugging a phone line into the laptop.

Another customer brought his computer in because it had a "virus" that would download porn and he didn't want his wife to worry about having to see it.

[Larommi]

Its not what they say but what they carry in with them when they do.

"Hi I would like to edit video, compile data from NASA, and find the cure for AIDS and I would like to do that on this Packard Bell."

BWAHAHA!!!!

[rebelj]

Speaking of Packard He$$'s ... just had a lady who wanted me to check out her system - dropped it off to me, it was a 486dx2-50 !!! <IMG SRC="smilies/eek.gif" border="0">

She wanted it fixed and set up to run the latest games and to get online -- I told her buy a new system. So a few days later she calls, was having printer prob's on the replacement she bought ... one of those Comcrap one-piece units that only has USB ports ... and it was a Celeron 500 on top of it! <IMG SRC="smilies/confused.gif" border="0">

(I told her to go to a shop locally who could build her a cheap custom unit - instead she got this one from, would you believe, Rent-A-Center -- for the same price she could have had a Athalon 1g built for her!)

Will lusers ever learn?? <IMG SRC="smilies/confused.gif" border="0">

[Apathy]

"Speaking of Packard He$$'s ... just had a lady who wanted me to check out her system - dropped it off to me, it was a 486dx2-50 !!!
She wanted it fixed and set up to run the latest games and to get online -- I told her buy a new system. So a few days later she calls, was having printer prob's on the replacement she bought ... one of those Comcrap one-piece units that only has USB ports ... and it was a Celeron 500 on top of it!

(I told her to go to a shop locally who could build her a cheap custom unit - instead she got this one from, would you believe, Rent-A-Center -- for the same price she could have had a Athalon 1g built for her!)

Will lusers ever learn??"

Isn't it great when users ask for your advice and then disregard it. Or when your trying to walk them through something over the phone and they decide to try to get ahead of you and really jack things up.

On Topic, the one thing I hear over and over is people telling me that they Windows 2000 me, and then I get to find out wich one they have. <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">