Stupid labels

[Miq]

I just happened to notice the warning on our paper shredder today that warned me not to put in my fingers. I have also seen a warning on a chainsaw that said do not touch the chain while it is still moving. Just wondering what other stupid warnings or labels everyone has seen.

[WebHead]

I bought some Drano Max once that said DO NOT DRINK on it.

[CodeDragon]

Label on a hairdryer: "Do not use in the shower"
Label on a toaster: "Will not toast bread unless plugged in"

Not a label, but a headline in a magazine (in a Dentist's office incidentally): "Grandmother's Fried Chicken Wins Dream Holiday".

Any more?

CD

[Radical Dreamer]

I have seen on a knife "Keep out of children"

[MacGyver]

My favorite on the back of Sega Genesis game cartridges:

"Do not subject to violent impact"

On a jar of peanut butter, "Alergy Alert, Contains Nuts"

[Vette]

I always like the Silica packettes that say Do Not Eat. A co-worker of mine tried one several years ago and it did make him mildly sick.

[weazel]

Pill bottles say "take by mouth." Like what am I gonna do, put the pill in my ear?

[FatalException0E]

I like Dilbert's response to the bottle of aspirin that said 'do not use if seal is broken'
....then how are you supposed to get the pills out?

[ShadowWynd]

Umm, some pills (like suppositories) are not taken orally.... Me personally, I would like to know if there is any doubt

On Salted Peanuts.... "This product contains nuts"

Warnings on X-Acto knives, warning about knives being sharp.

[Outcoded]

One a mate of mine saw.

Tesco's Vanilla Choc Ices: Vanilla Flavoured Ice Cream in a Chocolate Flavoured Coating

[Drone2903]

On a can of "Puss'n Boots" cat food:

"NEW AND IMPROVED TASTE"

Like duh, how is going to know, really ? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

[Commander Klarg]

On a fruit snack: Unwrap before eating.

This is all about companies in CYA mode (cover your a$$) with all the brain damaged people out there in our litigous society. Remember a few years back when a new dishwashing soap came out that was made with lemon? Well, several genuine genuises thought it was lemon juice, and used it as such. Boy, wouldn't that soap lemonade taste good.

So, when you see a stupid label, remember that they have to be read by the lowest common denominator.

- LCK, stator of the glaringly obvious

[Visgothy]

On coffee cup from Tim Horton (donuts shop here in Canada) or at Mcdonald's :
Caution content very hot.

No kiding?! Coffee is made with real hot water for real?? Is this new??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

[Mayhem]

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

[davepoet]

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Visgothy:
<strong>On coffee cup from Tim Horton (donuts shop here in Canada) or at Mcdonald's :
Caution content very hot.

No kiding?! Coffee is made with real hot water for real?? Is this new??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">As well as on McDonald's HOT Apple Pie, the box reads: "Caution, filling is hot".

You know that the warning on McDonald's coffee cup was because an old lady ordered coffee in the drive through & placed the cup between her legs so that she could get the bag with the rest of her order. When she reached out of the car, her legs squeezed the cap off of her coffee spilling it all over her "old woman parts". Ended up suing McDonald's for millions. Hence now the warning. She claimed she didnt think the coffee would be that hot.