Dumb assed question

[theBeast]

Here's my "Dumb assed question of the day:"

Customer: Hi, my printer isn't working.
Me: What's going on?
Cust: Well, I do a test print, and it works fine.
Me: Yeah?
Cust: When I try to print from Works or the Internet, it doesn't work.
Me: Does it give an error message, or just shoot the paper through, or act like it's printing?
Cust: Nope. It doesn't do anything.
Me: Hmm...What kind of printer is it?
Cust: It's a L-E-X-M-A-R-K-Z-3-1
Me: Oh, give Lexmark a call (since it's under warranty still)
Cust: What's their number?
Me: 1-800-Lexmark
Cust: How do you spell Lexmark?
Me: Umm....L-E-X-M-A-R-K.

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***the Beast
- Fate drove me here...then told me to get out of the car...

[Revenant]

Heh... I got one for ya: About a year ago, a customer bought a brand new system (Custom build) from us. After building it, burning it in, testing etc, he picked it up. About an hour later I get a call from the customer berating our crappy computers. Why, he had just spent x amount of dollars on this brand new machine, and the damned thing won't even turn on!! My first question (Having learned to never underestimate User headspace Errors) was: "Is the computer plugged in?" What do you mean?
Is the power cord plugged into the wall?
You mean you have to plug these in? No one told me that! I thought they ran on battery...

(After he plugged it in, the machine ran like a charm, and we never heard from him again.)

Ya gotta love 'em. They keep us amused and well fed.

[twebster]

Ok, we all know the dreaded BSOD right? Well one of our customers was listening in on the tech's b.s.ing one day and I guess picked up on some of it. Problem is, one day they called in and said they had a one and immediately shut the unit off. We of course told them to bring it in which they did promptly. Turns out the BSOD was Scandisk running because of an improper shut down. Not impressively funny but humoring.


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Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

[justatech]

lady bought a computer from us. 11/2 years later she calls up. She needs a file off the internet. Tell her how to get it. Tell her to make a boot disk and copy the file to that disk. She asks me how do I copy a file. How can you run a computer for that long and dont know one of the first things you learn how to do on a computer, Nother guy calls up says he is getting blue screens. I say lets look in device manager. He say do you want me to turn the computer on or can we do that while its off ?
Makes your day sometimes

[StormTech]

theBeast:
OOOOHHHHH MMMYYYY GGGOOODDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How stupid can you get!!!!!!!!

****they don't call them users for nothing!****

[CondoPC]

was walking a user through some on phone teching and needed her in the device manager. I asked her "to right mouse click on 'my computer'icon on her desktop." and she says she can't.
I said "you can't?" (figuring it was missing or she couldn't see it), and she said
"no, I can't...I only have one mouse." (she was serious too)
O well, takes all kinds ( otherwise we'd be out of a job )

[This message has been edited by CondoPC (edited August 24, 2000).]