best response to "What was wrong with my computer?"

**shamus** · April 26th, 2001, 07:51 PM

You know the type ...f*ck up the machine 'cause they think they know 'everything about computers'....my response?
"It seems you had asynchronous misaligned cascading buffers"...oh yeah they say.
Yours?

**Larommi** · April 26th, 2001, 08:17 PM

Originally posted by shamus:
You know the type ...f*ck up the machine 'cause they think they know 'everything about computers'....my response?
"It seems you had asynchronous misaligned cascading buffers"...oh yeah they say.
Yours?

Customer: "What was wrong with my machine?"

Answer: "You"

simple and to the point.

**paranoid** · April 26th, 2001, 08:18 PM

ever read the BOFH? A few good ones in there. I always like to use the 'solar flares' response. The earths electro-magnetic feild is quite strong today and seems to be courrupting files....

**Sowulo** · April 26th, 2001, 10:38 PM

"It seems your system decided to opt for an early retirement...."

CobraTekMax · April 26th, 2001, 10:58 PM

"God hates you".

**LPetrarca** · April 27th, 2001, 06:32 AM

OK, OK! Somebody has to do it, so I'll take the hit!

"ID10T error"

**AlienDyne** · April 27th, 2001, 06:34 AM

"The user"!!!

Darren Wilson · April 27th, 2001, 06:37 AM

Your Flux Capacitor is shot which means that you need to replace it to be able to continue making applications run at the ID-10-T level.

**Wayward Clam** · April 27th, 2001, 07:49 AM

The nut behind the keyboard has a loose screw.

Elbatcho · April 27th, 2001, 08:04 AM

"The Magic leprichan has had a massive heart attack caused by all the porn you are downloading on my machines."

"It's the hamsters day off and he brought in a temp"

"the Triddle is off at the sprocket"

"Ever since they have brought Mir down we have been seeing more and more problems like this"

"Solar Flairs, just do strange things to PC's"

These are some of the one's I use more often.

**MacGyver** · April 27th, 2001, 08:06 AM

Heh heh, I like the one about solar flares. I will have to remember that one...

**LPetrarca** · April 27th, 2001, 08:27 AM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Elbatcho:
"Ever since they have brought Mir down we have been seeing more and more problems like this"

I like that one!

**iamtheman** · April 27th, 2001, 08:41 AM

Originally posted by paranoid:
ever read the BOFH? A few good ones in there. I always like to use the 'solar flares' response. The earths electro-magnetic feild is quite strong today and seems to be courrupting files....

Yeah its a must read, he has the best way of dealing with users. Here's a link to the BOFH daily excuse board http://bofh.ntk.net/ExcuseBoard.html