[RESOLVED] What is the first thing you tell a person when ...

[Munster Mash]

What do you tell a person when they call and say that "my computer say's it just performed an illegal operation, what is wrong with it?"

I seem to be getting alot of these kind of calls this week, I am sick of them!

[MacGyver]

In my office: "Uninstall WinAmp, Gnotella, Bearshare, Napster, RealPlayer, MediaPlayer 7, LimeWire, ICQ, AIM, Newtella, Furi, Audiogalaxy, GNucleus, HTTP-Tunnel, ICQProxy, VCM, or any other P.O.S. software that I didn't install on your computer so you can get some work done!"

Oh yea, then they should reboot.

[Jallentino]

Yeah if they have any unauthorized software I blame it on that. Then I ask:

"Have you been looking at inappropriate websites of an adult nature? And dont lie to me cause I can check the log"

That is usually me having fun at their expense.

[imaeditedbysowulo]

My typical reply:

"So when did you install the AOL software?"

[LongAgo]

Been nice knowing ya. Hope you enjoy making small rocks from big rocks. And don't drop the soap in the shower.

[Darren Wilson]

Defrag, Scandisk & then bring it in to me. Only because it gives me time then to finsih what I am doing so I can look at it right away.

God I miss the customers being unemployed

[tk421]

I tell them to go in msconfig and disable startup group items and reboot. If they still have problems, I have them write down the exact error message and do 10 minutes of research (on microsoft KB, or on the program dev's KB). Give them whatever I tips I picked up, and/or have them bring it in to look at it.

tk

[AlienDyne]

"Bring it to us. You can't actually do anything to improve the situation".

[NTTECH1]

Listen to the problem, then advise them to bring the system in for Repair, I dont make anything for free phone advise but will help customers who purchased thier pcs for free, However we all are in this to make a living so I charge $65.00 for diag and repair their problem. We used to take a free look but it led to free repairs, so 65.00 is the standered fee for a "can you take a look at My Computer Questions"

[DANIMAL]

First I say It will be $50 or so then I say Uninstall the last thing you installed, Empty temp Folder, reboot and check again.
Then uninstall everything mentioned by macgyver

[Larommi]

I just tell them to reboot and see if it does it again. Then if it does write down what they were doing, and bring it in.

It is amazing what rebooting a machine does. My parents use to call me all the time that they were having problems with their machine either crashing or the winmodem not running. They never shut that thing off. I tell them to reboot and all the problems go away.

[kannibul]

you guys are lucky. I work with ignorant users that haven't a clue as to what the start button is.

[jbwooten]

I always say "Who am I? Bill Gates? That chick with tarot cards on TV?? Sheeesh... Bring it in..."

[3fingersalute]

I tell them to go to www.windrivers.com and post the problem in the forums and see if they can get help!!!!!!!!!


No, I usually ask them what they installed last, have them un-install it, if the problem persists, then tell them to bring it in, because it could be one of a 100 things!

[SubZero]

I ask them "What's the last porno you opened".

No, that's for certain users. I usually tell them to reboot, and if it happens again, let me know.