I bought a number of laptops from a large international web-vendor, whose name shall not be associated with this sordid tale because I am generally very satisfied with their service.

The laptops were HP models and were very attractively priced, but unfortunately one of them arrived with a damaged CDROM unit, which was, by the way, a removable unit.

I called the sales rep, who said he would contact HP and clear any hurdles for me. He called back with a telephone number and a case number. I phoned the number and, after pushing a thousand or so phone buttons, I talked to a very pleasant and helpful man, who was ready, willing and able to cross ship a new drive unit, that is until he discovered that I was not in the United States. He gave me another number to call.

I called this number, and pushed another thousand buttons. Here I was informed that the CDROM could not be replaced under warranty because damage of this nature was classified as user damage.

I called the sales rep, who was sympathetic. He called HP. HP gave him another number to call.

I called this number. After pushing another thousand buttons, a was able to converse with an androgynous voice which denied any association with HP at all.

I called the sales rep. and said, "Stuff this! I want to return the laptop for a refund." Well, this was the gist of what I said, anyway. He begged my patience, and I gave in. He called HP. HP gave him another number to call. He made a conference call to this number with HP and me online and arranged for a third party, a contracted HP service rep., to make a site visit to replace the CDROM. It turned out that contracted service company was the same company which had earlier denied any association with HP.

Later that day, I received a phone call from a local representative of the service company. He had no idea why he was calling me. I explained about the broken CDROM. He said there was no problem and that he would make a site visit to replace the CDROM if he could actually get the part. He began to take down details. Then the problem arose. HP had not contracted with them to service the particular model of laptop which I had purchased. Sorry. No site visit. No replacement.

I called the sales rep. He called HP. He called back with HP online. Someone from HP took down the details of the problem and said they would fax me a warranty return authorization. In the end, I had repackage the entire laptop and ship it away for about a week to ten days, the laptop which was perfectly fine, except for its damaged removable CDROM unit. By the time it was repackaged and a courier was summoned, most of my already too too short day was gone.

Just don't pull on that thread on my sleeve.