For those who have ever had to deal with government regulators (OSHA especially):

"The Bricklayer"
Someone shared a story with me about a bricklayer who had an accident on a
construction site and had to supply some additional information to the insurance company as to why the acident occured.
I'm a bricklayer by trade. On the date of the accident I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about five hundred pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel (using a pulley that was fortunately attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor).
Once I had secured the rope at the ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it.
Then, I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding the rope tight to insure a slow descent of the five hundred pounds of bricks.
You will note in block #2 of the accident report form that I stated, I only weighed 135 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and broken collarbone.
Slowed down only slightly and continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until my right hand was two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Unfortunately, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, inspite of my pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately fifty pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block #2.
As you might imagine, I began a rather rapid descent down the side of the building. Again, in the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for my two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my leg and lower body. This encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks.
Fortunately, only three of my vertebrae were cracked.

I'm sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, unable to stand or move. Watching the empty barrel swinging six stories above me.
Paralyzed in agony. I again lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope. The empty barrel, now weighing more than the rope. Came back down and broke both my legs.

I hope that I have furished the information that you require as to how the accident occured. Of course, if any more information is needed. I can be reached at the local hospital. Not like I'm going anywhere soon.

Moral: Never work alone!
Thank You,
The Idiot


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Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?