This is not written by me

[Archer]

I came across this in one of the news forums
Yes I know its sexist and I`ll get much ire from our female bretheren and no I d`ont agree [not with them all anyway ]but humour is humour make of it what you will.


We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. Ok. Well now hear the guys' side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1." ON PURPOSE!

1.. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us whining about you
leaving it down.

1.. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can
find the perfect present yet again!

1.. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1.. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1.. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short
hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married
women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1.. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it
that way.

1.. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1.. Crying is blackmail.

1.. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1.. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.
Remind us frequently beforehand.

1.. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be
any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with
your dress.

1.. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1.. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we
do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1.. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1.. Check your oil ! Please!!!.

1.. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all
comments become null and void after 7 days.

1.. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act
like soap opera guys.

1.. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1.. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes
you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1.. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1.. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done..not
both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1.. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1.. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1.. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we
were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1.. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no
idea what mauve is.

1.. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1.. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1.. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1.. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

1.. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1.. You have enough clothes.

1.. You have too many shoes.

1.. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee
or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're
saying anyway.)

1.. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1.. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1.. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

1.. I AM in shape. - ROUND is a shape

[PuterGeekGirl]

Take offense?? Haahaahaa...Most of it is all too TRUE to take offense....

[jay015]

Good stuff!!! If only women would follow those rules, how simpler life would be!

[Wayward Clam]

Ah, don't be so whipped. You wouldn't have posted it if you didn't agree with at least 51% of it.

[drewmaztech]

I love it! I think most of it is true and even if you get flak, THEY know most of the rules are true anyways.

[delmer_1]

that is great

[Archer]

yes but I know how tough the ladies [cough ] can get round here

[Orangeman]

The worst part is that you'd probably be fired if you posted that at your work station. It just goes to show you how unequal equal rights can be!!

Orangeman

[Wayward Clam]

The worst part of it is that we haven't managed to strike any sort of balance in today's world. In some ways, men are screwed today, in other ways, the women still have the short end of the stick. You'd think we'd be able to even it out given the amount of energy that's been given to the subject...

[PuterGeekGirl]

Originally posted by Orangeman
The worst part is that you'd probably be fired if you posted that at your work station. It just goes to show you how unequal equal rights can be!!

Orangeman

Not entirely! I work in a department of all guys...SO much of what is said by them could be considered harrasment.....but to me equal rights means giving it right back!

[Cleetus]

Originally posted by PuterGeekGirl
Not entirely! I work in a department of all guys...SO much of what is said by them could be considered harrasment.....but to me equal rights means giving it right back!

Really I think that it comes down to the individual person. You are diffently a strong enough person to have some "fun" play with, at least I am almost positive you are

But I do know that in my case, work environment is 95% female, with over 150 employees, I would be an idiot to try to put up something like this. Is it harassment, Is it wrong, Am I being discriminted, Am I discriminating?????

No it is just a very wise choice in order for all of us to just get along better.

But, damn, if I could find me a women that could read that list, then more importantly, follow at least half without stupid exceptions....

I would probably be dating a dude!!!

[PuterGeekGirl]

Yes Cleetus I have been told I am a bit unusual in that. Hell at times I even START these conversations that could get us harassment charges!

What fun is ANYTHING, especially the work place if you can't give one another some $hit now and then?? My fiance isn't even expempt from this!

Hell I even join in on the burp contests back in the computer room now and again... Well I used to anyway...but they were embarrased I could beat them...now they won't play!

[Archer]

I would be an idiot to try to put up something like this.

Cock a doodle doo [sorry c`ant do chickens]

Hell I even join in on the burp contests

Here,your not dating are you PuterGeekGirl ?

[Wayward Clam]

PGG's taken, and there's a long list of geeks already in line if she ever comes back on the market.