plz help me

[the merkin man]

First, some background. My best friend (let's call him Al) started dating this girl about a year ago (let's call her Alex). Throughout this I have become the "sounding board", if you will, for lots of their problems and fights. They broke up for a few months about midway through this year of dating and got back together. Alex and I have become a lot closer through these months, and she's become one of my few close friends. Hell, I got all the details from Al and Alex about Al losing his virginity to Alex (a lot more than I needed to know, but it was kind of amusing in a Tasteless Tuesday sort of way). From those details, and from acts thereafter, I've come to believe that Alex is great in the sack. Plus she's got a fantastic body, and more importantly, great tits.

Anyhow, now that Al is out of the picture, I really want a piece of her.

Actually, all of her would be nice. She's told me that she's through with "serious relationships" with men and has basically become a flirting machine. We've flirted with each other for months, even when Al was dating her, and she's been sending me lots of Emails with "I miss you so much" etc etc in them, every time I check my Email it seems like. I think she's hot for me, but with women, you can't ever tell.

So my question to you, Sulton of Humor, is this. How can I get her to suck my summer sausage and scream my name with her legs around my head without being blatantly ****ing obvious about it? Also, how would I go about it where I would dodge the "relationship" bullet as long as possible? I'm not so ****ing stupid as believe that she's through with relationships, but I would like to keep away from the subject as long as possible. I realize that this may not even have an answer, but if anyone can shed some light on this problem, I know you can. Please help!

[orange]

I think i'll let some of our more...ermm...relationship orientated contributors answer your post....i just wanted to confirm that you do actually know what a 'merkin' is don't you? Nice choice of username if you do......if not, OMG LOL!!

Oh...and good luck with the sausage depositing...

[freddy]

we had this discussion several mths ago ,,,,a "merkin" is as i rememember it : a "pubic hair wig" (from vicis days - if not before) ,,,,,,,,now VERY popular ,,,,,stars + stripes / union flag / etc


FtF

[Diver01]

All ill say about it is this.. is the relationship with your buddy worth losing by sleeping with his ex? Only you can answer that. I actually had a friend..so called "Best Friend" ask me to date his Ex cause "If shes going to end up with anyone, I would want it to be you." So I did, and few weeks later they were engaged to be married.. We ended up hating each other....

[imaeditedbysowulo]

If he's really your buddy, don't do it. There's plenty of other chicks out there for you to put your sausage into. Chances are, if you hook up with her you will lose your friendship and she will end up sleeping with one of your buddies. Don't even think for a second that you can pork her and not have your buddy find out, cuz chances are she will tell him. Some chicks are funny like that.

[Orangeman]

When you figure out the formula for getting women you like into the sack,

Share it!

I'll be waiting for your post. (... and so will most of the other guys on this website....oh my, just watch the member-ship expand....)

[Cleetus]

Go for it. Just ask her out for drinks. Get drunk. And do what we all love to do down on the farm...take the ho to the barn. Then while going at it from behind, grab her tightly, and start yelling out Al's name.

[Drone2903]

Must have missed some of the new rules around here.
I thought this was a technical Q&A board, not the "dear Abbey" column.
Granted, NOTHING is technically more difficult than boys/girls relatons, and I think i'll stear clear out of this one.
At any rate, good luck, cause it looks like you're gonna need a lot of it.

[Outcoded]

Originally posted by Cleetus
Go for it. Just ask her out for drinks. Get drunk. And do what we all love to do down on the farm...take the ho to the barn. Then while going at it from behind, grab her tightly, and start yelling out Al's name.

ROFLMAO!!!!!

[ilovetheusers]

This is one weird *** post.

This is so easy.

If you don't care about your bud, get her loaded and boom. Instasex. Liquor is like panty peeler. Works good for me.

Booze! Helping people get laid since the dawn of time! Why do you think it was invented?

[Budd]

Originally posted by ilovetheusers
This is one weird *** post.

This is so easy.

If you don't care about your bud, get her loaded and boom. Instasex. Liquor is like panty peeler. Works good for me.

Booze! Helping people get laid since the dawn of time! Why do you think it was invented?

to help white guys dance. i thought everyone knew that ?

but back to the topic here, i try to live by two mottos

1) whatever floats your boat man.

2) bro's before ho's.

a good friend is more important that a cheap lay. girls come and go but good friends are always there.

[Gollo]

That's one heck of a first post.

But for real this is a tech forum. Yes I know this was posted in the tech lounge but I mean at least get a few techie posts under your belt before you lay something like this on everybody.

[NooNoo]

Heh, just goes to show how many people remember other people's previous posting habits.....

I suspect the person concerned is way to embarrassed about it to post under their own screen name.

[PuterGeekGirl]

LOL @ Gollo. That was my initial reaction as well.

Kinda crude as well for a first post. And Noo may very well be right, hard to say.

[Stalemate]

Haven't we all gone through this kind of situation before?

Personally, I've never dated my friends' ex-GFs, ever. I know for a fact that this was never an issue with any of us. We did compete for the same girls at times (poor guys never had a chance), but once she was spoken for, she was out of the game permanently for me.

On the other hand, my younger brother and I have dated the same 3 girls at different times in our lives... Strange. Yes, we still speak - he's probably the brother I feel closest to.

Not many friendly relationships can survive what you're considering.


PS - I was going to take some guesses at which "older" WinDrivers member could be behind this, but I'll refrain.