User Classifications....

[Tacklebox]

How about the Houdini?
That's the user that was standing behind you a second ago when you told him you need him to log back on in a moment. You turn around and he's vanished.

[deseqer]

Or Houdini's Assistant, That has no clue were Houdini has disappeared to or when he is going to reapear. And she has no clue why you are there.

[Cleetus]

Mr Euphamism(sp?)

"you need to think outside of the box, be more proactive" - umm you mean stop you from even using the computer

"When are we going to learn to play like the big boys" - when you learn to take responsibility

"Lets compare notes" - lets not

Just got off the phone with this guy, couldn't get him to realise that he had to clean out his e-mail, couldn't send 50 meg attachments, and that he had to recreate an e-mail since it was the only thing that was having problems.

I hate the stupid corporate sayings

[Commander Klarg]

Originally posted by Cleetus
Mr Euphamism(sp?)

"you need to think outside of the box, be more proactive" - umm you mean stop you from even using the computer

GET BACK IN YOUR BOX!!!!

[FatalException0E]

Originally posted by Tacklebox
How about the Houdini?
That's the user that was standing behind you a second ago when you told him you need him to log back on in a moment. You turn around and he's vanished.

All the management at my sites....especially the 'admins' of the larger properties. The word 'admins' is in quotes for a reason. I hope everyone here knows that reason.

[Commander Klarg]

The Damsel in Distress: The hot young lady who seems to be followed by gremlins. Got one of those here.

[Radical Dreamer]

Originally posted by Commander Klarg
The Damsel in Distress: The hot young lady who seems to be followed by gremlins. Got one of those here.

I can deal with those because I have something nice to look at while im working

[Necrometal]

Originally posted by Radical Dreamer
I can deal with those because I have something nice to look at while im working

And conversly, the troll....

Who must break things with her very visage

[10of40]

Why is it that most people know enough to be highly dangerous?

[CodeDragon]

Here's one that's often worse than the users:

The Inept Technician

This is a technician or, worse, sysadmin, who is thoroughly useless. Worse still, they don't know that they're useless, and think that everything that they do is the height of technical sophistication. Moreover, he knows just enough to convince the know-nothing members of management that he is worth keeping on, despite what his superiors and peers say about him

A classic example of this type of idiot is one of the techs with whom I work, whose ability to wreak havoc has been nicknamed "The Perry Effect" after him.

For example: We had a power outage recently which killed one of the local switches. Unfortunately our web server sits on a link connected to that switch. What would you or I do? Try and fix the switch, of course (it only needed a reboot). But what does our man do? He carries the web server, still running on its UPS battery, down three flights of stairs to the switch room, and plugs it in to a different switch, with no thought about what moving a running system may do to it.

Fortunately, the system survived. Unfortunately, he thought that this meant that he could do this with every problem server with impunity. He learnt the hard way that he couldn't when the UPS of the db server (MS SQL Server) that he was moving died during transit, royally screwing the database.

If you ever get one of these people at your workplace, do not hesitate to make good use of every tactic you can think of to get rid of him, short of bloodshed.

[Cleetus]

Or her.....

Too bad she has somehow stayed here for 6 years, and still I have to teach her how to add a printer, check memory and so forth.