LINUX WELCOMED IN KINDERGARTENS

In a development that took industry pundits by surprise, Linux is receiving a massive boost in popularity as 4-6 year olds everywhere adopt it as their operating system of choice.

"I like Linux," said Amanda, aged 5. "It sounds so funny," she giggled. "Linux Linux Linux! Oh and the penguin is so cute!!!!" Her desk mate, Barbara, agreed with Amanda's views. But Barbara is also impressed by the stability of the operating system, and the remarkable performance it can eke out of her humble 486 machine. "Many young children do not have access to top of the range processors," Barbara (aged 4 and a half) pointed out, "since often we are expected to make do with the cast-offs of our elder siblings. Our families just don't appreciate how computationally intensive today's kindergarten homework has become. With Linux, hacking up a play-doh stress analysis simulation is a breeze. Without it, I can't see how I'd get everything done before my bed-time at 5:30."

Luke, who sits behind Amanda and Barbara and likes to make cricket noises, stated that for him the major attraction of Linux was simply that it is a Unix operating system. "It's pipes, man," he said. "It's, like, a command-line interface to everything. It's freedom dude. It is power to the people. It is the cat's pajamas. Chirp. Chirp chirp chirp."

Clarence was the one dissenting voice in the classroom. "Linux is for losers," he sniffed. "My Daddy says Linux is just for scruffy tech types who never wash and refuse to fill in their time sheets properly no matter how often he asks them and he'd fire them only the big boss wouldn't let him just because of their stupid high productivity levels."

Clarence recently got into trouble with the teacher, Mrs. Justine, for incorporating ideas from other students into his own homework and then aggressively trying to prevent their work reaching the homework pile.

"Mrs. Justine just doesn't understand the competitive dynamics of today's kindergartens," Clarence claims. "When she imposes her narrow, outdated views of right and wrong on her students, she stifles innovation and rewards those with cumbersome, inefficient, static value systems. My Daddy says if I work hard at school and do better than the other kids, one day I might be the next Bill Gates. How could any self-respecting teacher risk destroying that dream?" Mrs. Justine declined to comment. She also declined to notice when Luke brought Clarence one step closer to his dream by slamming a pie in his face.



Oldie but a goodie from a source unknown.