For the ladies

[kato2274]

my wife suggested I post this little tidbit she found surfing "the knot" message boards. She thought the ladies here might appreciate it . . . . . . . so here it is.

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow-down in the overall performance, particularly in the
flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend
5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable
programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, MLB 3.0, and NBA 3.6.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no
avail.

What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Desperate:
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,
while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Try to enter the command: "C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME" to download Tears 6.2,
which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works
as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications
Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

Remember, though, that overuse of the above application can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly 10.8.

Whatever you do: DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another
Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance.

I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support

[NooNoo]

Tell me about it....

[Cleetus]

Only problem is that we have moved to Wife 2.0 which is no longer able to run the Hot food programs and will not recognize the Lingerie suite.

[PuterGeekGirl]

I've seen that one before...a classic.

Kudos to your wife for sharing!

[Archer]

Dear desperate,
Please remember Husband 1.0 may be suffering from efficiency problems due to the over use of programs such as Checkbook 1.0 which is an add-on to expensive new suite 1.1,Brand new car 2 and New dresses weekly 3 requiring the excessive use of Overtime nightly 4HR which is hampered by using programs like Nosex 4U.

Try running Boysnightout at weekly intervals and Loving wife 1 at every opportunity having babysitter 2 running in the background will help you get Weekend away 4-2 up and running and should resolve many problems.

[Ya_know]

Originally posted by Cleetus
Only problem is that we have moved to Wife 2.0 which is no longer able to run the Hot food programs and will not recognize the Lingerie suite.

Hot food was ever an available option!?! I get Lingerie Suite working some of the time, but there is that Unsightly Nightgown 1.0 that just snarls its way into the Bedroom, and invokes Popup Killer 7.2, to which there is no known cure!

[Tacklebox]

If you want to install the lingerie suite, you first have to go to Add/Remove Programs and uninstall Giant Cotton Bloomers 2.0.

[Radical Dreamer]

Originally posted by Ya_know
Hot food was ever an available option!?! I get Lingerie Suite working some of the time, but there is that Unsightly Nightgown 1.0 that just snarls its way into the Bedroom, and invokes Popup Killer 7.2, to which there is no known cure!

Dont forget raggedy Tshirt 3.1

[Radical Dreamer]

The worst thing about wife 1.0 and wife 2.0 is the monthly maintanance program codenamed pms, which makes every service on the husband 1.0 program to malfunction and go into hibernation for one full week. There is no known fix

[cisco2]

Originally posted by Ya_know
Hot food was ever an available option!?! I get Lingerie Suite working some of the time, but there is that Unsightly Nightgown 1.0 that just snarls its way into the Bedroom, and invokes Popup Killer 7.2, to which there is no known cure!

Popup Killer 7.2

ROFL

[Radical Dreamer]

Originally posted by Ya_know
Unsightly Nightgown 1.0 that just snarls its way into the Bedroom, and invokes Popup Killer 7.2, to which there is no known cure!

Boobies 2.0 always fixed popup killer for me, but it requires a quick removal of unsightly nightgown

[Ya_know]

Originally posted by Radical Dreamer
Boobies 2.0 always fixed popup killer for me, but it requires a quick removal of unsightly nightgown

Yes, but when Unsightly Nightgown is running, that implies the Monthly Maintenance service is running as well. This typically means all versions of Boobies will be inaccessible. There are tweaks that occasionally have been known to throw Codename PMS into a horny loop providing a short-term exposure of Boobies. But depending on the CPU Cycles used by PMS, this may only prove to be a short-term joy, leading to Blue Balls XP.

Trust me, your best bet is to let the Popup killer run its course…the last thing you want is Blue Balls XP. The worst lack-of-release software ever manufactured…but then there was always the ME release, good for short term control...

[meatwad]

Be EXTREMELY careful if you're planning on using Back Orafice on Wife 1.0 without setting it up through scheduled updates. Trying to run it straight through the command prompt could result in Wife 1.0 crashing and Husband 1.0 getting caught in a feedback loop with couch 3.5.

[Archer]

Having No Boobies running can prevent the very important Horizontal Dancing and Jiggy Jiggy programs from running at a regular intervals as they are supposed to.
Which in turn leaves the system wide open for viruses such as Looking at other women and No I`m not married,which are both nasty and unwanted programs and can cause system termination under the Divorce Lawyer protocol.

[meatwad]

And also be cautious of Trojans. Although they may help increase Husband 1.0's efficiency as well as prevent the spawning of bots, they may make Husband 1.0 more reluctant to initiate datalinks with Wife 1.0.