So you thought you had a bad day

[eboyjones]

Got this e-mail:

I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering
from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried
Chicken.

So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his
bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he
got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN,
and he saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!"

But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his
computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy
his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He
knew it wasn't a hoax, because he himself was a computer programmer
who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the
year 2000 rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster
in which all the computers get together & distribute the $600
Neiman Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates.
(It's true --I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL
GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World
vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I
know.)

The poor man then tried to all 911 from a pay phone to report his
missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got
jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note
that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."

Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-the one,
actually, where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one
whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail
and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for
every e-mail he receives.

I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's
in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty
people you will have good luck, but ten people you will only have
ok luck, and if you send it to less than ten people you will have
BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).

So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but
on the way he noticed another car driving along without his lights
on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly
shot as part of a gang initiation.

Mercifully, this is the end....

[Ya_know]

That hurt to read...

[Tacklebox]

If he made it back home, he'd have seen that important email from Nigeria

[PuterGeekGirl]

Well he got shot, so I don't think me made it.

[Ya_know]

Anyone remember the one with the dude getting the jelly fish up his butt, doing a deep water dive? It came in through a hot water hose he had running into his suit, it got sucked in and forced down the hose into the suit. I always thought he had a pretty bad day too...

[Archer]

Well he got shot, so I don't think me made it.

Getting shot and dead from shooting are two different beasts as one is survivable

[Ya_know]

Getting shot and dead from shooting are two different beasts as one is survivable

Another lesson in semantics...

[ephmynus]

Jut off from another:


I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people,celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in
his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the
government made them change their name to KFC). Anyway, one day this guy
went to sleep and when he woke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and
he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that could destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true- I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.) The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's
expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital - the one
where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is
for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society
has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck but for 10 people only you will only have OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation. Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will receive 4 green M&Ms-if you don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: you will get sick from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your spouse/mate will develop a skin rash from using the antiperspirant which clogs the pores under our arms, and the U.S.government will put a tax on your
e-mails forever.

I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the internet.