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January 29th, 2004, 12:09 AM
#1
you probably need a new computer
I’m having one of those months where everybody wants their old computer to do the latest greatest stuff. But they don’t want to spend any more then a hundred bucks for the upgrades.
Along the lines off Jeff Foxworthy’s you might be a redneck, I’ve been thinking of posting a big new sign in my store.
If you’re trying to install IE 6 or AOL 9 on a computer with Windows 95, you probably need a new computer.
If you’re trying to install Windows XP on that PII 300 with 32 MB RAM, you probably need a new computer.
If you’re trying to play Unreal Tournament on a computer that originally came with Windows 3.1, you probably need a new computer.
If you’re trying to install a new multifunction printer on a Pentium 133, you probably need a new computer.
If you bought a computer for $499.00, including monitor, from Wal-Mart the day after Thanksgiving, and you’re trying to do anything with it, you probably need a new computer.
If you’re trying to add a 128 MB 8X AGP card to a Compaq, you probably need a new computer.
If you’re trying to edit video on a computer with Windows 95, you probably need a new computer.
If you’re still trying to find 5 Ľ floppies to back up, you probably need a new computer.
Maybe there’s already been a thread like this.
Most of these are real, just this month.
I was wondering if anybody else was seeing a lot of this?
It would be great if you had anything to add………..
Tired techs unite!
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January 29th, 2004, 01:05 AM
#2
Registered User
If you're trying to download a song off Kazaa, while also burning a cd , while installing WeatherBug, SaveNow, NewDotNet, and Clock Sync, while previously having installed Date Manager, Search Bar, and Precision Time, all on an AOL dial up connection, with McAfee version 4.0.3, and Norton running in the background, on a Compaq, with 64 megs of memory, w/Windows 98 First Edition, (not only are you one of many of my customers), but you do not need a new computer!!!! You need an abacus and a set of 8 Crayola Crayons. But, being the guy I am, I will sell you that new computer. And in that overpriced computer, plus a hefty service call, I will attempt to impart some knowledge. 
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January 29th, 2004, 07:45 AM
#3
Registered User
To sumerise then:
If you dont know what "it" is or bought it as a bargain,sale item,end of stock,clearence item,special deal,"good" price,seconhand,from an advertisement,boot sale, "friend",you type "win" to start it or before the last ice age you need a new computer.
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January 29th, 2004, 09:23 AM
#4
Registered User
If you bring me yer computer for help and, I see that not one original screw is still in it and the case cover is screwed on all wrong overlapping the front panel,and something is clunking inside because YES you said to the son its ok to take the harddrive out for whatever reason. And then I find it and the other harddrive rolling around the inside of the case.Then ya its time for a new computer
Harddrives are sooooooo cool when they CLUNK
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January 29th, 2004, 01:31 PM
#5
Registered User
If you are looking for 30 pin simms to speed up your computer, you're upgrading your 14.4 speed modem, your cd-rom was made by Wearnes, you need a new bus mouse, your hard drive isn't large enough for fat32, your monitor can display 16 different colors ALL at the same time, you are looking for a math coprocessor or Dr. Dos needs to be reinstalled it is probably time for a new computer.
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January 31st, 2004, 10:06 PM
#6
Registered User
If you have a system that has the word eMachines on it, then it's time for a new computer.
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February 1st, 2004, 10:16 PM
#7
Registered User
If your computer is old and you are looking for an upgrade, call me and I will sell you a new computer. 
The early bird may get the worm; but the second mouse gets the cheese!
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February 6th, 2004, 04:32 PM
#8
Registered User
if you are checking your games to make sure they are Glide compatible...you need a new computer
Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs
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February 7th, 2004, 01:22 PM
#9
Registered User
If your hard disk holds less data than a CD does, it's time for a new computer.
There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
your hand or head stuck in something
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February 7th, 2004, 02:01 PM
#10
Driver Terrier
If you buy a new addon card and can't find a slot small enough, its time for a new computer
Never, ever approach a computer saying or even thinking "I will just do this quickly."
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February 10th, 2004, 06:44 AM
#11
Registered User
If you have to wait for the C: prompt before switching off, it's time for a new computer.
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February 10th, 2004, 08:12 AM
#12
when you find a "power vr card" , and fitting it improves the systen
freddy
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February 10th, 2004, 05:38 PM
#13
Senior Member - 1000+ Club
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I'll forgive you the computer, but please, please buy a new printer.
I was there today, waiting for the damn thing to print 30 pages 
I'm in charge and I say we blow it up
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November 28th, 2004, 07:54 PM
#14
If you're loading King's Quest 1 and your computer says 'Not enough virtual memory', it's time for a new computer.
I hope no one needs an explanation, but if so just ask me.
Last edited by [NuB]Quint; November 28th, 2004 at 07:58 PM.
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November 28th, 2004, 08:53 PM
#15
Registered User
 Originally Posted by [NuB]Quint
If you're loading King's Quest 1 and your computer says 'Not enough virtual memory', it's time for a new computer.
I hope no one needs an explanation, but if so just ask me.
Go on , do explain please 
"you can Log out - but you can never leave" : DMO
What part of WOOF don't you understand ? Wolf
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(Sergeant) Private Military Strategy Consultant
FormatAndReload.com
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