-
June 4th, 2004, 12:58 AM
#1
Registered User
God vs. Satan
In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach combined with an abundance of green, yellow and red vegetables.
He did this so that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Queen and Tim Horton's. And Satan said: "You want hot fudge with that?" And Man said: "Yes!" And Woman said: "I'll have one, too...with sprinkles." And lo and behold they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from size 2 to size 14.
So God said: "Try my fresh green garden salad." And Satan presented crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened the ir belts following the repast.
God then said: "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp, butter-dipped lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin, sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man packed on more pounds.
God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan introduced cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretchy lycra jogging suits.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calor ies and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and the 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then Satan said: "You want fries with that?" And Man replied: "Yes! And super size 'em!" And Satan said: " It is good."
And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed...and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
Satan chuckled and created The Canadian Health Care System.
-
June 4th, 2004, 12:59 AM
#2
Registered User
bet you thought this was going to be some serious thread huh?
-
June 4th, 2004, 01:04 AM
#3
Registered User
Hehe,... Yeah!
-
June 4th, 2004, 01:07 AM
#4
Registered User
So how come we run up North to buy your drugs????
Sergeant WOTPP
-
June 4th, 2004, 05:10 AM
#5
Registered User
Originally Posted by Damned Angel
God sighed...and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
Satan chuckled and created The Canadian Health Care System.
Yeah, but in the US the same operation would cost you at least twice as much, which might cause another heart-attack......
-
June 4th, 2004, 05:46 AM
#6
What this is not a Democrat vs. Republican thread?
-
June 4th, 2004, 08:05 AM
#7
Registered User
Originally Posted by Orangeman
Yeah, but in the US the same operation would cost you at least twice as much, which might cause another heart-attack......
yea, but I would not get a bill at all for this operation in Canada. It would just take 6-8 months to get it, by which time I would be dead.
Similar Threads
-
By Gabriel in forum Tech Lounge & Tales
Replies: 6
Last Post: September 20th, 2003, 04:21 AM
-
By Lycia in forum Tech Lounge & Tales
Replies: 2
Last Post: July 24th, 2002, 09:52 PM
-
By SubZero in forum Tech Lounge & Tales
Replies: 22
Last Post: November 29th, 2001, 09:10 AM
-
By IT Len in forum Tech Lounge & Tales
Replies: 10
Last Post: September 17th, 2001, 11:32 PM
-
By Matt_29 in forum Tech Lounge & Tales
Replies: 83
Last Post: May 10th, 2001, 11:42 PM
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts
-
Forum Rules
|
|
Bookmarks