Adultery 2

[PuterGeekGirl]

Was accused of seeing someone that was a friend...now after him and I split (few months later) me and the friend started dating...and 3 years later married (yeah, I'm a glutton for punishment, eh?) so I guess maybe that cemented it in his mind even more that I was seeing someone while I was still with him.

But sounds like you caught your wife red handed so to speak...I do wish you the best and good luck today in your appts!

[jstut]

Great to have a friend....I guess it was for the best for you, as your spouse (in theory) is supposed to be your best friend.
Yeah...mine's a little different.
Thanks P.

[opiate]

I'm married. What is considered cheating? Although I haven't done anything with anyone else since I met my wife, I think cheating is so blown out of it's context. Cheating is when you are in two relationships at the same time. My wife dosen't mind if her friends gives BJ's, but she gets to watch. A BJ is about as far as she will let me take things with her friends. I wouldn't do anything with anyone else without my wife knowing about it, I love her and will spend the rest of my life with her. Since she had our son, she isn't that sexually active anymore. We went from 2-3 per day to maybe once a week, and it's just plain old sex, nothing fancy.

It all started when my wife and her best friend ended up together after a party once night, we pulled an all nighter and went to IHOP for an early morning meal. We were talking about BJ's and I was telling her friend my frustration with sex after having our baby. She went to the bathroom with my wife and they both came back smiling. I had no clue what was about to happen. So after about 10 minutes I had to piss and went to the bathroom, shortly after her friend came in grinning ear to ear and I was like what the hell? She lead me into the stall and unziped my unit and so on... Ever since then my wife has been cool with it.

[jaeger]

I'm married. What is considered cheating?

Any sexual or romantic relationship your partner doesn't approve of.

[3fingersalute]

Any sexual or romantic relationship your partner doesn't approve of.

Cheating?....not to be confused with Adultery, which doesn't matter if your partner approves or not, Adultery is having sexual relations outside of marriage.

[Stalemate]

To me cheating is any relationship which could be as intimate or more so than the one I have with my spouse, be it sexual or just emotional.


Opiate, I suggest that you and your wife get counselling so that this relationship can remain whole (emotionally, sexually, etc.) and exclusive.

Most would cheer you on and leer jealously at the situation you've been through, but trust me on this. Your marriage will not last if this continues. You are running the risk that your wife will start seeing herself as redundant sexually, withdrawing even more as time goes by and frustrating you further. This is not healthy for her or for your mutual relationship as a couple.

Take it for what it's worth, but I've been happily married and exclusively so for close to 12 years now. All the other "open" relationships (about 4) I have had before failed because of the very nature of that concept. It does not last.


If I was you, I'd wonder if I could be as "open minded" in the long term if my wife asked for the same lattitude in return, if it hasn't already been occuring.

[Cleetus]

To me cheating is any relationship which could be as intimate or more so than the one I have with my spouse, be it sexual or just emotional.


Opiate, I suggest that you and your wife get counselling so that this relationship can remain whole (emotionally, sexually, etc.) and exclusive.

Most would cheer you on and leer jealously at the situation you've been through, but trust me on this. Your marriage will not last if this continues. You are running the risk that your wife will start seeing herself as redundant sexually, withdrawing even more as time goes by and frustrating you further. This is not healthy for her or for your mutual relationship as a couple.

Take it for what it's worth, but I've been happily married and exclusively so for close to 12 years now. All the other "open" relationships (about 4) I have had before failed because of the very nature of that concept. It does not last.


If I was you, I'd wonder if I could be as "open minded" in the long term if my wife asked for the same lattitude in return, if it hasn't already been occuring.

So then sex is a very important factor

[Stalemate]

Right behind love, mutual trust, devotion and emotional fulfillment.

[confus-ed]

To me cheating is any relationship which could be as intimate or more so than the one I have with my spouse, be it sexual or just emotional.


Opiate, I suggest that you and your wife get counselling so that this relationship can remain whole (emotionally, sexually, etc.) and exclusive.

Most would cheer you on and leer jealously at the situation you've been through, but trust me on this. Your marriage will not last if this continues..

So I personally completely agree with the first line, cheating doesn't have to have anything whatsoever to do with sex, thats just one of the results of the 'cheating' to my mind ..

However you are showing yourself as a bit of a 'prude' with the rest of it .. we call such folks 'swingers' here (wouldn't catch me at this, but each to their own if everybody agrees & it isn't pissing anyone else off, whats it got to do with anyone else ?) & thousands of folks both here & there & in Europe particularly get up to 'this' all the time ! & most of them will 'swear' it makes their relationships stronger !

(Now not that I believe a single word of that - but thats what folks say, you & I might say 'excuse themselves with ..' !)

[Stalemate]

Just because I try to live by moral principles today doesn't mean I'm a prude nor that I'm unfamiliar with pretty much everything that goes on in the world, sexually-speaking, Ed.

You might be shocked to hear some of the things I've participated in.

IMHO, I would not gamble my marriage, my family on the dubious merits of extra-marital swinging or 3-ways. Any sexual act (I don't care how Clinton defined that either) made with another person but your spouse is risking it, whether or not approval is there.

I'd rather work out any problems with the wife I love than have to face even the possibility of there being a wedge between us which could grow with time.

Like I said, for me, any non-exclusive relationship has had a 100% failure rate.



In Opiate's case, the wife is apparently not benefiting from this deal at all apart that she has less sexual pressure to deal with now. There is the risk of a time coming where she will cut him off completely if that is the case. If that happens, will he still consider her his wife, his soul mate, the focal point of his happiness if he can still get what's missing outside?

Not an easy situation to be in.

[Cleetus]

In Opiate's case, the wife is apparently not benefiting from this deal at all apart that she has less sexual pressure to deal with now. There is the risk of a time coming where she will cut him off completely if that is the case. If that happens, will he still consider her his wife, his soul mate, the focal point of his happiness if he can still get what's missing outside.

Being sex

[Cleetus]

Like I said, for me, any non-exclusive relationship has had a 100% failure rate.

And the marriage failure rate shows that monogamy has a 50% failure rate.

So what is the point of even trying then?

[Stalemate]

I got married because I wanted to make someone's life better, not expecting the other way around. I'm happy if she is, basically.

Sadly, I think the failure of most married relationships today can be traced back to that. The marriage works fine until some desire is not met, or some problem is encountered and blamed on the other.

"I'm not happy with you anymore, so I'm leaving".


That takes a whole lot of character.

Not.

[Cleetus]

I got married because I wanted to make someone's life better, not expecting the other way around. I'm happy if she is, basically.

Sadly, I think the failure of most married relationships today can be traced back to that. The marriage works fine until some desire is not met, or some problem is encountered and blamed on the other.

"I'm not happy with you anymore, so I'm leaving".


That takes a whole lot of character.

Not.

But you also knew, at least in your heart, that she felt the same, and wanted to do the same for you, am I right?

What happens when it does become a one way road?

We are only human, and you do have needs/desires/whatever that do need to be fulfilled(and for once I ain't just talkin' sex). You can only give so much until you break. But I do agree, you have to be willing to give, so many people today just want to receive.

[Diver01]

Ok heres my take on relationships.... as twisted as it may be...

I dont need anyone!!!
I dont want anyone to have to need me

I dont need anyone to complete myself im just fine the way I am thankyou
I do not want to have to complete someone else.. I have enough trouble worrying about my own crap let alone yours too...

I would love to share someones life with them
I would love to have someone choose to share their life with me.

I see no problem with spending a night out with the guys
I see no problem with a woman wanting to spend a night out with the girls

I dont mind cooking
I dont mind cleaning
I dont mind doing windows
I do mind doing it all teh freakin time

Having said all this....

Someone explain to me why I seem to have no luck with women at all... I must suck! Maybe I should be totally selfish and just take take take... maybe then ill be a challenge enough for women to want to crawl all over me.. It gets so sickening watching a woman go from bad relationship to bad relationship.. over and over...