Adultery 2

[Stalemate]

Heh, now that would be the logical thing, wouldn't it? In quite a few states, cheating isn't even considered as part of the legal proceedings.

Really?

Sad thing that a breach of (marriage) contract for the clause where "forsaking all others" isn't considered valid anymore.

[Stalemate]

Thist just came in from my Mom. 78 years old. I Told her what's going on.
Son,
Just be very careful! Scared people, do scarey things. You know that if ANYTHING ever happens to you, Debbie, Paul, Joel, Aunt Virginia and I will put all our assets to work on it. Will also keep you and Kevin in my prayers, and will plead God's angels to watch over you. As the song says "what a difference a day makes". One thing you can count on, your family supports you all the way. I love you. Mother

Pretty cool in the scheme of things. Ain't moms great?

By the way, Mels's (STB ex)mom had 5 kids...only two will even talkto her. She lives up the road. Moved here 2 years back, because I was stable and would help out.

Damn I shouldn't have ignored the warning flags!!!

Mom will always be mom.

Good to hear you have the support of your family.

Please don't consider it a foolish thing to have loved another person, even if it wasn't reciprocal though.


I wish you the best and hope that this situation will not be overly difficult to go through for you.

[jstut]

Thanks for the support.
Also looks like I found the guy.
Now have to decide what to do with this information.
Do I call his wife? Call him? Give it to my attorney?
Decisions...decisions.

[jaeger]

Really?

Sad thing that a breach of (marriage) contract for the clause where "forsaking all others" isn't considered valid anymore.

Infidelity is grounds for divorce, but it won't help the man one bit in the legal battle afterwards. Basically, unless the woman committed criminal behavior, she wins. Justice system is such an oxymoron.

[jaeger]

Thanks for the support.
Also looks like I found the guy.
Now have to decide what to do with this information.
Do I call his wife? Call him? Give it to my attorney?
Decisions...decisions.

You really want to talk to your attorney because this does look preplanned. You are going to need to make the case that she was a calculating, conniving person if you want a chance in hell of coming out of this even mildly victorious.

[jstut]

You aer the guys I'm looking for. "Realism!"

Tried calling the guy's house...got a recording...left my name, couple of details from the Tryst, said "I just want to make sure I have the right person."

Funny, the sbt ex called, and told me my behavior was atrocious. Think that's the word. Being a simpleton.....
Exactly right jaegar!
Again, don't care how much cash it costs....I'm looking for a little pay-back at this point.

[Diver01]

My opinion only...

Dont stoop to her level. Shes been calculating and manipulative. If you turn around and do teh same to her, then you have no integrity in a court of law. Right now you have the upper hand, tell you attourney and ask for his/her advice, this is their job. Their best interest is your best interest. I wouldnt make a single move without my attourneys input in this situation...

[jstut]

You really want to talk to your attorney because this does look preplanned. You are going to need to make the case that she was a calculating, conniving person if you want a chance in hell of coming out of this even mildly victorious.

Know a good Attorney?
I'm interviewing/consulting on Tues.
Just noticed you were up the street.

[jaeger]

Know a good Attorney?
I'm interviewing/consulting on Tues.
Just noticed you were up the street.

Good and Attorney aren't words I'd put together by my own free will. Effective is a better choice. Find one that specializes in divorce proceedings if at all possible. Also, get ready to cancel all your credit cards and freeze all your bank accounts. Consult the lawyer first and immediately.

[i n e p t]

i think what you are going through has to be one of the most difficult situations someone can encounter. not only do you have to keep facing this person, but you also have to grieve a broken/failed relationship at the same time. not counting watching your child suffer through it i had to live through a similar event (not married, but had 2 children with her) and in all it took close to a year of constant prayer to stop hating her.

the hardest part was to be respectful through it all, because no matter what i thought of her, i could not destroy my childrens view of their mother, it would be destructive to them. remember that your child still loves his mom, even if she screwed up bad, and not respecting that can be taken as a personal offense by the child. my worst decisions were taken in anger, don't make the same mistakes.

if it helps, remember your child every time you are angry, and put him 1st in your decisions, you will be grateful you did. i would also suggest making sure a close friend is around that you can vent to whenever the need arises, letting it fester inside of you will only augment your pain. and know that i too am praying for you and your loved ones in this difficult time.

[confus-ed]

..Again, don't care how much cash it costs....I'm looking for a little pay-back at this point.

So forget that line of thought completely unless you like being poor & would like child support & alimony payments to keep you that way for eternity

Divorce/breakup when there's kids involved is inevitably stinky, all the advice I have to offer further, on this subject, is to remember who is completely innocent in all of this, & thats your kid (& hope your ex can remember that too !).

Good luck...

[jstut]

Inept? Confus-ed?...I don't think so....Nothing of the sort.

I found a card this morning talking about Love, Sex, Etc." Wasn't signed, but damn sure know it wasn't meant for me.
Been feeling confused....Can't tell if I'm going to "Yuke or Cry".

Spent the day with my son at the Pool...letting him see I REALLY Used to Dive. (When I was a younger man).

Tried to talk with the wife....hopeing this really wasn't happening.....but it is.

ALL MY FAUALT.

Prayers for Peace, Sleep, Forgiveness, and Serenity are highly appreciated Inept.
I will be interviewing 2 Attorneys on Tues.
Spent some of the morning laying out and prepping stuff, so I'm not paying for wasted time.

Jeeeez..... the guys make more than computer folks.

[PuterGeekGirl]

Good luck....as others have stated, do your best to put your hatred aside during all this for your childs sake. (much easier said than done) When me and my ex split it was nasty..he got it in his head that I wanted nothing to do with my son...I had to go out of town for work for a week and when I got back he was changing daycares and sending him to peoples houses after school so I had no idea where to find my son for approx a month. It got to the point where I had to borrow a friends car and follow him from work to find out. It was ugly. Thats been over 3 years ago and there still isn't much communication there cuz my ex can't seem to go on (even tho he has a g/f and she lives with him so in alot of respects he HAS gone on)...maybe its more that he can't seem to get over his hatred? Anyway..all it does is hurt my son...and he's aware of things..even tho I do my best to hide them......Kids realize alot more than you think... I could write a novel over everything that happened.....and it'd take you days to read....please, don't do this to your son. I already think my son gets penalized by his father for still loving me....sad really.....

Good luck and take care of you and your son. You will come thru this!

[jstut]

Were you caught in a adulterous affai?
My problem, is my wife is doing her damndest to turn my son against me.
I am doing some serious rethinking. Also getting into the Fla Statutes, and when I meet with my potential attorneys, wont waste our time.
I spent all last year remodeling my house...ripping out walls, new wood/tile floors, new kitchen. I think she's been planning this for a while, and I will Really be chapepd if she moves some guy in with no more scrouples than she has.
We (I thought) had an agreement..."If you're going to sleep around, have the courtesy and respect to Divorce me first."

Thanks hope to hear back.

[jstut]

Sorry about that PuterGeekGirl. Makes mine sound silly, but still at the beginning stages. I guess if I didn't love the woman in some twised way, I would't hate her so much right now. However, I would NEVER be able to trust her again, and damn sure don't have that much forgiveness.
Best of luck to you!!!

My son is 10....figure by the time he's a little older, He'll realize what happened, and give credence to where it belongs.
I have never claimed to be the greatest Dad or Husband, but if you count count on your Spouse....refresh me was it Better/Worse..til Death do us part, or was it Until "I'm a little stokey for a Guy I work with?"