Adultery 2

[Seeker]

Even then, things can be worked out. It all depends on why it was done and whether or not it's worth the effort to work it out.

Oh yeah...I wasn't even talking about forgiving someone that cheated on you. That would be hard to do even if you were just b/f and g/f.

I just meant if I was dating a guy that had cheated on his ex g/f at some point I wouldn't hold that aginst him.

[Stalemate]

Here's some background info about me:


The only GF I never cheated on was my first one. But we were 12. All other times I was in a relationship I did not respect the implied exclusivity of the relationship. Heck, I even went out with 8 different girls in the span of 3 days - 3 of which were in the same club one evening. Not a particularly enjoyable memory, that one.

I met my wife to be while dating another girl, and once we realized that our mutual attraction was leading to something else I asked for some time to end the other relationship first. But then I cheated on her before we got married too.

To this day, fidelity is still an issue in our couple, in the sense that I need to demonstrate clearly and unequivocally that I have decided to be at her side until death seperates us. She needs the reassurance and it's my duty to provide it even though I've never been unfaithful to her since our marriage and have gone out of my way to protect our relationship.

Oh yes, there are consequences.

[Spork]

ha ha ha very funny



I agree. I dont see how girls can be that dumb sometimes, but I mean if you fall in love with a guy who is taken and he seems to love you too, and then breaks up with his chick, it might be a different story. There are so many ways that this can be interpreted. Guys grow up slower than girls, so maybe him going out with his current girl friend was his way of growing up and showing her that he's not going to cheat on her is one of the ways that he proves he loves her.

Or maybe....I'm just babbling on

I was dating someone when me and my current girlfriend (Stacy) started hanging out, actually we worked together. At the time I wasn't very happy in my relationship and therefore I began inspecting new possibilities with Stacy (she was completely aware of the fact that I was dating someone else). Well, after a couple months, my old relationship was ended and thus began a new and wonderful relationship with Stacy. We love each other to death and would do anything within our power to make the other happy. I have feelings for her that I've NEVER had before and it is nothing short of amazing in every possible way and I have never once regretted any decisions that were made in bringing us together.

Some people just go different routes in finding the one they were meant to be with.

[Seeker]

Here's some background info about me:


The only GF I never cheated on was my first one. But we were 12. All other times I was in a relationship I did not respect the implied exclusivity of the relationship. Heck, I even went out with 8 different girls in the span of 3 days - 3 of which were in the same club one evening. Not a particularly enjoyable memory, that one.

I met my wife to be while dating another girl, and once we realized that our mutual attraction was leading to something else I asked for some time to end the other relationship first. But then I cheated on her before we got married too.

To this day, fidelity is still an issue in our couple, in the sense that I need to demonstrate clearly and unequivocally that I have decided to be at her side until death seperates us. She needs the reassurance and it's my duty to provide it even though I've never been unfaithful to her since our marriage and have gone out of my way to protect our relationship.

Oh yes, there are consequences.

Not that it matters but I just wanted to tell you that I respect you for sharing your story. I do NOT believe once a cheat always a cheat and hearing your story backs up my belief.

[meatwad]

Not that it matters but I just wanted to tell you that I respect you for sharing your story. I do NOT believe once a cheat always a cheat and hearing your story backs up my belief.

Ah, but there in lies the challenge. I only know a d e p t as well as one can from these boards, but I also believe from what I know about him that he will be faithful till the day he dies. The problem is that even though I don't think he would cheat, he will always be someone that could cheat. The reason that I don't think he will is because he seems to have found a strong sense of willpower and respect and his relationship sounds like a very strong one. But if any of those factors broke down, who knows what could happen. And this isn't to pick on a d e p t, I'm just using him as an example and basing most of this people that I know who have gone through similar problems.

(and a d e p t knows that when we rib each other we're only a funnin . I would never do his wife....mostly because she most likely wouldn't let me but that's besides the point. )

[Stalemate]

Thanks Seeker and meatwad for your kind comments.

Not a whole lot of people know this about me, as a matter of fact.

I think the patty hit it dead on with the "could" comment - and that's why I'm ever so cautious in how I act, what I say and what I allow myself - or not - to engage in when it comes to entertainment, work relations, etc.



BTW, it's still "no", meatwad.

[meatwad]

and that's why I'm ever so cautious in how I act, what I say and what I allow myself - or not - to engage in when it comes to entertainment, work relations, etc.

That sucks though because if I lived in QC, I'd be blowing my paycheck at club SuperSex every friggin night.

[Seeker]

[QUOTE=meatwad] The problem is that even though I don't think he would cheat, he will always be someone that could cheat.QUOTE]

I think everyone has it in them to cheat. It is human nature to want to explore and to be attracted to many people. And personaly I think almost everyone does cheat...at some point in their lives. Adept is just very honest about it. Most people are not because they fear the "judgement" of others.

But when you find that one person at is like no other for you. Be careful and treat them right. That goes for men and women.

Men that spend all of their time at the bar are shocked to come home and find their wife's with the mailman.
Women that never "feel" like having sex with thier husbands and will never try new things are hurt when they find out he was bonking the women from work.

Treat you SO right you guys!!!

[Cleetus]

Werd to the seeker, you hit it right on the head, you can still be in love, but not getting human needs fulfilled and those needs are strong enough to sometimes lead one astray...

That being said, every single marriage of my friends that broke apart and went into divorce, the wife was cheating. If you really wanted to know where I am coming from

[Stalemate]

...Treat you SO right you guys!!!

Sure thing.

This goes both ways though.

[Stalemate]

Werd to the seeker, you hit it right on the head, you can still be in love, but not getting human needs fulfilled and those needs are strong enough to sometimes lead one astray...

Sex is not a need, even though we like to portray it as such and give it much more attention than it deserves.

Self-realization, nourishment, a place to live - those are needs.

That being said, every single marriage of my friends that broke apart and went into divorce, the wife was cheating. If you really wanted to know where I am coming from

I though you was from Texas?



I think it's harder for guys to forgive/get over infidelity from their spouse.

[amyb]

Sure thing.

This goes both ways though.

That's right. Some people go into marriage thinking that just love will keep it together, which it won't. Both parties need to work hard and communicate with each other. Whenever I hear couples say they never fight has problems (IMHO). Also, when you have a child(ren), couples need to work extra hard on the communication and find some time for each other or else there will be trouble afoot.

[Cleetus]

Sex is not a need, even though we like to portray it as such and give it much more attention than it deserves.

Self-realization, nourishment, a place to live - those are needs.

Sorry but I call bull****, the sexual relationship is just as important as all the others. It is a need, it helps us both, but in different ways, to connect with each other emotionally, physically and spiritually. There is no closer way to have two people become truly one then the sharing of each others body. Why else would we have these 18 trillion polls going on about cheating? If you do it with someone else, you are breaking that most sacred of bonds that you can share.

[amyb]

Sorry but I call bull****, the sexual relationship is just as important as all the others. It is a need, it helps us both, but in different ways, to connect with each other emotionally, physically and spiritually. There is no closer way to have two people become truly one then the sharing of each others body. Why else would we have these 18 trillion polls going on about cheating? If you do it with someone else, you are breaking that most sacred of bonds that you can share.

I agree.

[meatwad]

People want attention. If they stop getting attention, they start looking for it elsewhere and will sometimes do things that they don't really want to to get it.