Adultery 2

[jitBob]

Sorry but I call bull****, the sexual relationship is just as important as all the others. It is a need, it helps us both, but in different ways, to connect with each other emotionally, physically and spiritually. There is no closer way to have two people become truly one then the sharing of each others body. Why else would we have these 18 trillion polls going on about cheating? If you do it with someone else, you are breaking that most sacred of bonds that you can share.

Gawd, I hate it when you are right!

[Tekboy]

People want attention. If they stop getting attention, they start looking for it elsewhere and will sometimes do things that they don't really want to to get it.

I am certain that this is a major cause of female infidelity. With many men (and a smaller percentage of women) it is the "thrill of the hunt" thing that causes the going astray.

This goes back to the "maturity" thing, imho.

[Stalemate]

That's right. Some people go into marriage thinking that just love will keep it together, which it won't. Both parties need to work hard and communicate with each other. Whenever I hear couples say they never fight has problems (IMHO). Also, when you have a child(ren), couples need to work extra hard on the communication and find some time for each other or else there will be trouble afoot.

Amen.

[Stalemate]

Sorry but I call bull****, the sexual relationship is just as important as all the others. It is a need, it helps us both, but in different ways, to connect with each other emotionally, physically and spiritually. There is no closer way to have two people become truly one then the sharing of each others body. Why else would we have these 18 trillion polls going on about cheating? If you do it with someone else, you are breaking that most sacred of bonds that you can share.

You're not sorry, and it's not bull****, but that's OK.


Here's the explanation:

When all the other components are working fine - communication is good, respect is mutual, a level of personal freedom is present, etc. - then sex has about a 10% importance in that list.

If the sexual component is faltering - frigidity, impotence (God forbid), freak accident, illness, etc. - then it becomes 90% important on that same scale.

What happens if your spouse can no longer have sex? Do you go looking for someone else?

Sex adds to the other aspects of a relationship, but it's not a requirement for it.

Women will most likely be unfaithful because another aspect of the relationship - not sex - isn't healthy, while men will most likely cheat because the sex does not meet their expectations (which are often twisted out of proportion).


Love is a human need, not sex.

[Cleetus]

"Men will leave because the sex isn't there", "women seek sex outside for diferent missing things"

How then can you say that sex is not that important?

Honestly, if I could no longer have sex with a woman I married, I would honestly ask her if I could seek it outside the marriage, otherwise I would seek a divorce.
Also, like you just said, when the sexual aspect is being fulfilled it is almost ignored as a factor, but it doesn't mean it is not a factor with the reasoning being your next comment in that when it doesn't work it will cause 90% of the problems.

Sounds like an important thing to me.

Also, so it is bad that men and women see sex as different things to each other?

Is it so bad that sex is a major reassurance to men in their relationship? Does that make us weaker for some reason, or just different with different needs?

The last year I spent for real dating and living with the voodoo, sex was not existant, over time I felt less and less desire or need to do anything romantic back for her as I felt that nothing was ever reciprocated. As time went, we got into a big landslide of hurt feelings and needs that we split. Now that we have actually become more open, and added that aspect back into our lives realizing where we went wrong, we are stronger then when we were ever "together". I now know that with the next woman, that is something that has to be there before I move in or get married.

If it wasn't for sex, why get married and not just be friends?

[PreciousAngelJS25]

Precisous, you are young still, your interest will start to wain, maybe find a new guy, one day you will cheat, it is in the "oh so mature" female blood.

Wouldnt count on it cleet. As you've said before, we are just avitars and text on here, so dont pretend like you know me....

[Stalemate]

"Men will leave because the sex isn't there", "women seek sex outside for diferent missing things"

How then can you say that sex is not that important?

You are misquoting me.

I said that "men will most likely cheat because the sex does not meet their expectations (which are often twisted out of proportion" - which can imply frequency, style or other specific details.

"Women will most likely be unfaithful because another aspect of the relationship - not sex - isn't healthy" meant that unfaithful women already know that to attract and keep another man, sex will be used as a means of getting the other relational aspects fulfilled.

...Also, like you just said, when the sexual aspect is being fulfilled it is almost ignored as a factor, but it doesn't mean it is not a factor with the reasoning being your next comment in that when it doesn't work it will cause 90% of the problems.

Sounds like an important thing to me.

Again, misquoting or misunderstanding what I said. Reread it.

"When all the other components are working fine - communication is good, respect is mutual, a level of personal freedom is present, etc. - then sex has about a 10% importance in that list ... If the sexual component is faltering - frigidity, impotence (God forbid), freak accident, illness, etc. - then it becomes 90% important on that same scale."

I never said it was not important, I said it wasn't necessary, not a requirement for a loving relationship, not a need - that's what I said.

Importance is a relative term here. Men tend to see sex as much more important than it really is, because it is a good indicator of what else is happening in the relationship and we're sensitive to that.

I should have made it clear in this way:

When the sex is good, then either the other aspects of a relationship are healthy or overlooked. When it's not good, then the relationship's health is most probably suffering elsewhere, unless there is an uncontrollable reason for it being this way.

That's what I meant by 10% importance when everything else is good, but 90% important when it isn't.

...Also, so it is bad that men and women see sex as different things to each other?

Is it so bad that sex is a major reassurance to men in their relationship? Does that make us weaker for some reason, or just different with different needs?

No, I think that's perfectly normal and that women have known this for ages. It does not make us weaker or inferior, nor should it make us subservient.

...If it wasn't for sex, why get married and not just be friends?

For the trust, for the love.

Personally, I couldn't have sex with a female friend. That would mean sacrificing a part of my emotions that I spent too long rebuilding again. Love needs to be present for that to happen.

[Cleetus]

Are you sure you aren't American?

[Stalemate]

Are you sure you aren't American?

Half-American by being born in New Hampshire only.

Parents are both Canadian.


Why?

[meatwad]

Half-American by being born in New Hampshire only.

Parents are both Canadian.


Why?

You dumb sonuva bitch. That means your an American with all the damn rights. Why are you living in Canadia. (What part of NH?)

[Stalemate]

You dumb sonuva bitch. That means your an American with all the damn rights. Why are you living in Canadia. (What part of NH?)

My parents moved back to Quebec when I was less than a year old after having lived in Nashua for a while while my dad was learning his trade.

I was born at the Manchester hospital.


Americans have rights?

[Cleetus]

Nah, you sound as if you have a puritanical American view on down playing the importance of sex

[edball]

This is all you need to know, it's genetic.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...e_behaviour_dc

[meatwad]

My parents moved back to Quebec when I was less than a year old after having lived in Nashua for a while while my dad was learning his trade.

I was born at the Manchester hospital.


Americans have rights?

You was born in Manchvegas? Well I'll be s*** on a stick.

[Spork]

You was born in Manchvegas? Well I'll be s*** on a stick.

As of today, meatwad is now officially known as "Sh!t on a stick".