You're not going to believe this:

**TripleRLtd** · January 25th, 2005, 02:16 AM

I will be a "temporary" parent of three girls starting tomorrow.
Wish me luck...no, better yet, say a prayer for me.

Some of you know that I've mentioned my ex coming here during the hurricane. The one with the three children. Right? Well, tomorrow they will be in my temporary custody. My ex, the mom, has been screwing up as usual, so, instead of the childrens authoritiy taking them, I will go get them tomorrow and gain temporary custody.

Better that than foster homes though. So, I will have to sacrifice again. But they are worth it. They are 10, 6, and 4 year old girls. They call me Dad. The six year old knows me as her daddy, even though she knows I am not. The ten year old says I am the "best daddy" she ever had. That's enough to make any heart melt. The four year old, I just found out last week, is my own little girl. Yeah, I am now a father!!

Damn, life can change completely in no time at all....
I have no idea what I'll do about my business, or how this will all turn out (I am quite worried, btw). But I do know one thing: I don't know what the hell I am doing....

But, hopefully, we'll be alright. And, any advice would be helpful.
Thanks.

**techs** · January 25th, 2005, 05:05 AM

Nanny 911

**NooNoo** · January 25th, 2005, 05:17 AM

Daddy Day Care....

Seriously, if they are all at school then for the most part you will just be cutting your working out of the office hours down.

If you are used to rushing off at the drop of a hat to do paid work, then you will be only doing that when they are at school.

Trip, welcome to my world!! Grab yourself a reliable childminder/day care place and a bunch of childrens toys, games and dvds.

The children already see you in one light, but I suspect the working side of you will modify that view of you... it's a balancing act, but doable.

**TechZ** · January 25th, 2005, 07:00 AM

Congrats Trip. Hope it all works out.

**paraflyer** · January 25th, 2005, 08:16 AM

Originally Posted by NooNoo

Trip, welcome to my world!! Grab yourself a reliable childminder/day care place and a bunch of childrens toys, games and dvds.

Well, I agree with the toys and games....but I disagree on the DVD's (at least partially). Too many times the tube is used as an electronic babysitter.

**Ya_know** · January 25th, 2005, 08:35 AM

Trip is a daddy!!!

There is nothing I can do to prepare you, I really just wanted to congratulate you!

It’s important you realize that it's not noble what you are doing, taking these girls in. It’s the only option you have, and I am proud of you for stepping up. You’re ex- has dropped the ball, and now you have to pick it up. One thing NooNoo pointed out that I think it is important to remind you, in time you won’t be the coolest dad, but you will be one hell of a great father. The girls will love you, but as they learn to follow your rules it will be a change of seasons. Don’t let that sway you, these girls are depending on you to raise them now, and it’s important that you be a friend, but most important you must guide them and teach them, and when necessary discipline them. You are not just a father figure anymore, you are a father.

One piece of advice Chris Rock gives in one of his standup routines. If you’re girl becomes a stripper, you f~(ked up. If she makes her livin’ on the poll, you let her down. Now it’s funny when he says it, but the reality is that a father is the most important male bond a young girl has to model after the men in her life as she grows older. They needs to learn to respect themselves, and not take sh!t from some punk because they are comfortable with being let down by their old man all the time. They all need to feel special, and have an independent bond with you, and they will grow to be respectable young ladies.

Good luck Trip!

**hudsonsmith** · January 25th, 2005, 09:28 AM

Welcome to my world. I've got 10, 8 and 4 year old girls. My recommendation - be firm. Establish rules and boundaries and maintain them. If you apply the rules consistently and fairly they will come to respect them. If they think they can get away with breaking them they will walk all over you. You will do better if you are patient and don't have to resort to yelling (something I have difficulty with).

**PuterGeekGirl** · January 25th, 2005, 09:42 AM

WOW!!! Sounds like you are in for a bit of a lifestyle change.

You'll do great.....it'll be a learning experience on both sides!

Best of luck.....Hope this means that even if things get straightened out and she takes em back that you get to remain part of their lives...specially the 4 yo that you found out is yours.....the neatest thing I've ever done is be a mom....You'll make a great father! Congrats!

**Pinnacle** · January 25th, 2005, 10:11 AM

Originally Posted by paraflyer

Well, I agree with the toys and games....but I disagree on the DVD's (at least partially). Too many times the tube is used as an electronic babysitter.

I agree. Cartoons are good in moderation and can even be educational (I love Stanley on the Disney channel), but too often parents put the kids in front of the TV when they do not want to deal with them. While parents do need breaks, many parents take too many. My wife and I have found that when our daughters are acting up the most, it is because we are not giving them enough attention.

**TripleRLtd** · January 25th, 2005, 11:56 AM

Originally Posted by NooNoo

Daddy Day Care....

Trip, welcome to my world!! Grab yourself a reliable childminder/day care place and a bunch of childrens toys, games and dvds.

Is that an offer Noo?

Plenty of great advice here folks. Thanks bunches. I may just print this out and hang it on the wall.
As far as TV goes, I agree Para. That is exactly what she did all the time. The 10 year old has a learning disability and is addicted to tv as well. That is certainly going to change.
btw, they do respect me as more than just a great dad, they actually listen to me when I get tough. So, yeah, it will be a balancing act like none I've ever tried before.
Damn, where is confus-ed when I need him.
Thanks again folks, and really nice speech Ya_know. You must be a truly good daddy, and unlike the persona you portray here, I always knew you were a big pussycat.

**Archer** · January 25th, 2005, 12:02 PM

Time to crib up on the latest bedtime stories Trip

I hope you enjoy the limited time you have with them to the full isnt life strange throwing such a curve ball your way

BTW Dont mess with teddy

**Wagara** · January 25th, 2005, 12:15 PM

I have two girls at home, 8 and 3. Don't be afraid to sit in the floor and let them have-at you. Great quality time can come out of little girls brushing your hair. Beating your shoulders with a brush makes for a great massage and clear polish on the toenails never hurt anyone.

Also, save shoe boxes for the hair stuff. There's gonna be plenty of hair bows and bands and stuff whether it's 6 weeks or 6 months.

Good luck!

**3fingersalute** · January 25th, 2005, 12:29 PM

Originally Posted by Wagara

clear polish on the toenails never hurt anyone.

I have 3 little girls at home, my toenails are currently painted purple (*shhh*)

**Stalemate** · January 25th, 2005, 12:31 PM

You seem to realize fully that your life is no longer your own and that takes a different kind of courage for which I salute you.

And I'm not even talking about the possibility of this "temporary" thing becoming permanent. They'll be a part of your life now and for the long run quite possibly the only male parental figure they have. Like others said, don't be a buddy, but be the best parent you can be. The positive effects last much longer.

I'm starting to pray for you right now.

PS - Don't forget that girls are into relationships and emotions and stuff. I have to will myself to get into that mode at times with my daughters.