Ask Stalemate

[Guts3d]

Why do all the stupid people insist on driving in front of me, as opposed to behind me where they can do me little harm or slow me down?

[Niclo Iste]

That reminds me. Why do all the people who think they can drive better than me drive behind me?! They all act like surrogate backseat drivers and make me get into other peoples way.

Hehehe

[DonJ]

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a MANIAC?!?"

--George Carlin

rip

[CeeBee]

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a MANIAC?!?"

Hmmm.. there is nobody faster than me.. well 99.9% of the time..

[Stalemate]

Why do all the stupid people insist on driving in front of me, as opposed to behind me where they can do me little harm or slow me down?

The smell is much less pronounced when upwind.

[rgharper]

Does the chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

[Stalemate]

Does the chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

Not at all. That is a common misconception.

In fact, the loss of flavour (notice the correct spelling) occurs when, during gum recovery, one bites into the bodies of thousands of dust mites that have congregated upon its surface, having grown bored of gnawing away at dander all day long.

The chemical interaction between the dust mite cadavers and gum actually cancel each other out, so neither can be properly tasted. The hardness (almost "crunchiness) of the gum's texture after prolonged exposure is often attributed to evaporation of it's moisture, but now we know better.

[Guts3d]

Originally Posted by Guts3d
Why do all the stupid people insist on driving in front of me, as opposed to behind me where they can do me little harm or slow me down?
The smell is much less pronounced when upwind.

Hehehehe.... I never thought of that...

Mmmmmmmm.... Crunchy dust mites....

[rgharper]

Cool, new facts to take to my next office party. Thanks!

Hey, speaking of which, why is it that a project manager is always the last person to know that the project has changed?

[MobilePCPhysician]

Hey, speaking of which, why is it that a project manager is always the last person to know that the project has changed?

...

[slgrieb]

Dear Stalemate;
Why are people always breaking wind and never fixing it?

[Stalemate]

Cool, new facts to take to my next office party. Thanks!

Hey, speaking of which, why is it that a project manager is always the last person to know that the project has changed?

No one wants to interrupt the daily nap schedule of said manager.

[Stalemate]

Dear Stalemate;
Why are people always breaking wind and never fixing it?

In a nutshell, wind vandals are having to put in much less effort than wind engineers. The paperwork alone to get a wind reparation approved is a sad statement about the state of our governmental bureaucracy. A disgstingly large amount of our national deficits are directly caused by this mis-management which compounds the actual diffuculty of carrying out the restaurations.

In our century, other grassroot methods were introduced (lighting matches, using pine-scented car mirror decorations, spraying aerosol scents, blaming pets, etc.) but none have garnered sufficient mainstream approval for these since they're mostly covering the issue, not resolving it.

[houseisland]

Hey mon ami, t'aimes sûr manger des patates, des patates "pilées", des patates frites, des patates au Cheez-Whiz?



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It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!

[Stalemate]

Hey mon ami, t'aimes sûr manger des patates, des patates "pilées", des patates frites, des patates au Cheez-Whiz?

Got my very own personal Willi Waller™




HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!