The following is a conversationg that took place on AIM between myself and my best friend's brother. His problem was that his wife was spending too much time online and wants to know where she's going. From this conversation I learned that some people should NOT own a computer.


Session Start (AIM - ETOX123:nascarloco88): Sat Nov 08 14:59:33 2003
ETOX123: y helo thar
nascarloco88: HELLO
ETOX123: that's some nice purple font
nascarloco88: THANK MY WIFE
nascarloco88: LOL
ETOX123: i see
nascarloco88: SO,,,WHATS UP?
nascarloco88: DID MY BROTHER DISAPPEAR?
ETOX123: not much, I'm just scripting some flash objects to transfer to my HTML code so I can rehash the page before monday.
ETOX123: yes
ETOX123: he had to restart
nascarloco88: I SEE
nascarloco88: MY COMPUTER SUCKS
ETOX123: I heard
nascarloco88: I HATE IT
ETOX123: heard that too
nascarloco88: I HOPE THIS OTHER HARD DRIVE HELPS
nascarloco88: MY WIFE SUCKS TOO
nascarloco88: LOL
ETOX123: really?
ETOX123: that must be nice
nascarloco88: LMFAO
nascarloco88: SO,,,WHY IS IT TAKING JARROD SO LONG???
nascarloco88: I THOUGHT BROADBAND WAS FAST
ETOX123: because his puter is slower
nascarloco88: HE ALWAYS MAKES FUN OF MY DIAL-UP SPEED
ETOX123: broadband has nothing to do with booting
nascarloco88: WOW
nascarloco88: OH
nascarloco88: I SEE
nascarloco88: DUH
ETOX123: lol
ETOX123: I can't rename this damn button lol
nascarloco88: LOL
nascarloco88: WELL JARROD IS HAVIN PROBLEMS
ETOX123: that's normal
nascarloco88: LOL
ETOX123: so I hear you want me to harrass your wife?
nascarloco88: YES,,,THAT WOULD BE NICE
ETOX123: sweet!
nascarloco88: IT SUCKS WHEN,,,,,,
nascarloco88: YOU TAKE CARE OF HER KIDS ALL DAY,,CLEAN HER HOUSE,,,DO DISHES,,AND THEN WHEN SHE COMES HOME,,,,
nascarloco88: ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS SPEND SOME TIME WITH HER,,,AND THE FIRST THING SHE DOES IS GET ONLINE AND START CHATTING
ETOX123: mm hmm
ETOX123: chatting with who?
nascarloco88: MOSTLY GUYS
nascarloco88: EXCHANGING PICS
ETOX123: what does she do? Find them on yahoo?
nascarloco88: FOR HOURS ON END
nascarloco88: ON AOL
ETOX123: wow
ETOX123: I can never do that on AOL
ETOX123: they don't have a good directory
nascarloco88: OH,,,I SEE
nascarloco88: THAT SUCKS
ETOX123: yes it does
ETOX123: but yahoo has thousands of members
ETOX123: mostly naked
ETOX123: but members all the same
nascarloco88: YOU COULD ALWAYS I-M HER SOMETIME,,,TELL HER YOU SAW HER IN A CHAT
ETOX123: what is her IM name?
nascarloco88: DOMINATEMAGICK
nascarloco88: FALLINSUNFAIRY
nascarloco88: BUT SHE USUALLY USES THE DOMINATE ONE
ETOX123: hmm, I wonder why...
nascarloco88: LOL
nascarloco88: JUST BE NICE AT FIRST,,,,
nascarloco88: TALK ABOUT SOME SORT OF LEGIT PROBLEM YOU HAVE,,,
ETOX123: erectile dysfunction?
nascarloco88: SHE WILL START TO TRY TO HELP YOU
nascarloco88: LOL
nascarloco88: SAVE THAT ONE FOR LATER
nascarloco88: LOL
nascarloco88: AS SOON AS SHE STARTS GIVING ADVICE,,,,,GET HER!!!!!!!!!!!1
nascarloco88: LOL
ETOX123: what chats does she go to?
nascarloco88: ILL FIND OUT
ETOX123: k
nascarloco88: I NEVER PAY ATTENTION
ETOX123: it should be in the history
nascarloco88: SHE JUST GOES TO DIFFERENT ONES
nascarloco88: DO I HAVE TO BE ON IN HER NAME TO ACCESS THAT?
ETOX123: no
nascarloco88: I SEE
ETOX123: go to the control panel, click on internet, and there should be some history crap
nascarloco88: COMPUTER ILLITERATE HERE
ETOX123: like cached pages
ETOX123: it'll say something like: pages visited are stored here for you to do **** to them later
ETOX123: and you can view the files
ETOX123: unless you accidentally clear them
ETOX123: and that would be bad
ETOX123: so don't do that
nascarloco88: I DONT SEE CONTROL PANEL ANYWHERE
ETOX123: gah
nascarloco88: IM ON AN OLD VERSION OF AOL
nascarloco88: 4.0
nascarloco88: LOL
nascarloco88: ITS ALL THAT WILL WORK ON HERE NOW
nascarloco88: IT USED TO RUN 8.0
nascarloco88: BUT NOT NOW
ETOX123: right
ETOX123: well, not to make you feel stupid or anything
ETOX123: but the control panel isn't in the AOL browser
ETOX123: it's a part of windows
nascarloco88: OH,,,,DIDNT KNOW
nascarloco88: ON THE DESKTOP?
ETOX123: click on start
ETOX123: settings
nascarloco88: OK
ETOX123: and you should see it
nascarloco88: HEY,,,
nascarloco88: WHEN I TRY TO CLICK ONTO IT,,,IT DOESNT DO ANYTHING
ETOX123: click start, run and type control panel
nascarloco88: I GET TO THE CONTROL PANEL,,,,BUT IT WONT DO A THING WHEN I CLICK IT
nascarloco88: OK
ETOX123: did it work?
nascarloco88: NOPE
ETOX123: hmm
nascarloco88: I HIT OK AND IT DISAPPEARED
ETOX123: that's nice
nascarloco88: YEAH,,,ISNT IT THOUGH
nascarloco88: HEY,,,
ETOX123: go to search and search for control panel
nascarloco88: I GOT IT TO COME ON
ETOX123: yay
nascarloco88: I HAD TO HIT BROWSE
nascarloco88: INSTEAD OF OK
nascarloco88: LOL
nascarloco88: WHAT EXACTLY AM I LOOKING FOR?
ETOX123: internet
ETOX123: did you go there?
nascarloco88: YEAH,,,,
ETOX123: ok
ETOX123: look for anything to do with chat
ETOX123: in the files
nascarloco88: AND THERE IS NOTHING THERE ABOUT INTERNET
nascarloco88: OK,,,ILL TRY
ETOX123: er
ETOX123: wait
nascarloco88: K
ETOX123: in the control panel, isn't there an icon that says: internet options"
ETOX123: ?
nascarloco88: LET ME CHECK
nascarloco88: NO,,,I DONT SEE IT
ETOX123: wtf
nascarloco88: YEAH
nascarloco88: LOL
ETOX123: ok, are you still in the conrol panel?
nascarloco88: I CAN BE,,,IT ERASES IT EVERY TIME I RESPOND TO YOU
ETOX123: open up the control panel, make it fill up the whole screen by clicking on the big box up in the corner, then press the prtscrn button on the upper right of the keyboard
nascarloco88: OK,,,HERE GOES
nascarloco88: I KNOW IT SOUNDS AMAZING BUT,,,IT DOESNT HAVE A MAXIMIZE ICON ON IT
nascarloco88: LMFAO
ETOX123: *blink*
ETOX123: ok, just press the prtscrn button with the control panel open
nascarloco88: OK
ETOX123: after that, go to wordpad
nascarloco88: I HIT PRT,,,IT DIDNT DO A THING
ETOX123: how nice, now go to wordpad
nascarloco88: HOW? IM STUPID
nascarloco88: LOL
ETOX123: go to start, accessories, wordpad
nascarloco88: OK
ETOX123: when you get in there, hold down ctrl and press V
nascarloco88: I DONT HAVE AN ACCESSORIES OPTION
ETOX123: then go to start, run and type wordpad
nascarloco88: OK
ETOX123: did it work?
nascarloco88: HOLD ON
nascarloco88: YEAH,,,IM HERE
ETOX123: ok
ETOX123: now hold down ctrl and press v
nascarloco88: WOW ,,,A BUNCH OF **** KEEPS FLASHING ON AND OFF
ETOX123: what kind of ****?
nascarloco88: IT STOPPED NOW
ETOX123: er
ETOX123: what do you see?
nascarloco88: THE SCREEN JUST KEPT FLASHING
nascarloco88: OK
nascarloco88: LETS SEE
nascarloco88: LOOKS LIKE A BUNCH OF FILES,,,WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR?
ETOX123: it's not a picture?
nascarloco88: NO
ETOX123: omfg
ETOX123: grr
ETOX123: then go to start, run and type mspaint
ETOX123: and do the ctrl-v thing
nascarloco88: WHITE PAGE,,,WITH A RULER LOOKING THING AT THE TOP AND A BUNCH OF FILES
nascarloco88: OK
nascarloco88: IT TELLS ME THE IMAGE IN MY CLIPBOARD IS LARGER THAN MY BITMAP
nascarloco88: WTF
nascarloco88: LOL
ETOX123: then push yes
nascarloco88: OK,,,WHAT NOW,,,IT DISAPPEARS EVERY TIME I TALK BACK TO YOU,,,,HOW ANNOYING
ETOX123: you open up paint, do ctrl-v and when it's done, you save it to the desktop
nascarloco88: OK,,,HERE GOES NOTHING
nascarloco88: HOW DO YOU SAVE TO DESKTOP?
nascarloco88: LOL
ETOX123: when the save box is open, there should be a little thing up at the top that says a weird file name, click on the arrow beside it and find the word desktop, click on it, then save the file.
nascarloco88: THERE IS NO DAVE BOX,,,,GGGRRRRRRRRR,,,ILL BRB,,I NEED HALF OF A CIG,,,IM SURE YOU NEED SOME VODKA AND SOME NERVE PILLS.LOL
nascarloco88: SAVE BOX I MEANT
nascarloco88: LOL
nascarloco88: BRB
ETOX123: I meant you have to go to file, and save as
ETOX123: in paint
nascarloco88: OH,,,ILL BRB
nascarloco88: OK,,IM BACK,,LETS TRY THIS AGAIN
ETOX123: ookay, you go to paint, press ctrl-v when it pastes the pretty picture, you go to file and save as
ETOX123: then you should see the save box
ETOX123: and the little file thingie at the top
ETOX123: brb
nascarloco88: OK
nascarloco88: WHERE DO I PUT DESKTOP,,WHERE IT SAYS FILE TYPE OR WHERE IT SAYS NAME?
ETOX123: neither
ETOX123: at the top of the box, there is a drop down menu
nascarloco88: OK
nascarloco88: OK,,I DID IT
nascarloco88: WOW
ETOX123: so it's saved to the desktop?
nascarloco88: I GUESS,,,LOL
ETOX123: good, now send me the damn file
nascarloco88: OK
ETOX123: you know how right?
nascarloco88: WHAT DO YOU THINK?,,,NO,,LOL
nascarloco88: IVE NEVER SENT A FILE TO ANYONE
nascarloco88: IM A VIRGIN
ETOX123: in the AIM window click the first menu item and then click send file
nascarloco88: AIM WINDOW???
ETOX123: AOL Instant Messenger
ETOX123: the thing we're talking on
ETOX123: brb
ETOX123: back
nascarloco88: OK,,,SORRY BUT I DONT SEE IT
ETOX123: you don't see the window we're talking in?
nascarloco88: NO,,,I SEE THAT,,,I DONT SEE WHAT YOU ARE WANTING ME TO HIT
ETOX123: DAMMIT!!!
nascarloco88: ALL I SEE ARE MINIMIZE,,,MAXIMIZE,,,AND CLOSE
ETOX123: ok ok, I believe that
ETOX123: then up
ETOX123: *m
ETOX123: I know
ETOX123: go to (Link: www.uploadit.org)www.uploadit.org
nascarloco88: OK
ETOX123: and go to the bottom of the page, click browse, and find the picture on your desktop
*** nascarloco88 signed off at Sat Nov 08 16:00:06 2003.
*** nascarloco88 signed on at Sat Nov 08 16:01:43 2003.
nascarloco88: I FORGOT TO TELL YOU,,IT WONT GO TO A WEBSITE,,,IT FROZE
nascarloco88: ALL I CAN DO IS I-M AND E-MAIL
ETOX123: brb


At this point I walked away from the computer for several hours. I figured he could go buy a book.