WARNING: IF YOU LIKE BEING SCREWED, YOU'LL LOVE DELL.

I prepaid for two Dell computers by mailing a bank Official Check to Dell in Round Rock, TX. Just to be sure, I enclosed a copy of the order generated at the Dell kiosk in Countryside Mall, Clearwater, FL. I Fed-Ex'd the check and the order, plus an additional amount for over night delivery.

They received the order on 4/5/2004 and cashed the check on 4/8/2004. On the afternoon of 4/8/2004, I went back to the Dell kiosk in Countryside Mall to ask a fairly simple question, "When will my computer be delivered?".

The response was puzzling. The order was on hold in Order Processing in a "pending" status. "Pending what?", I asked. Wrong question. No answer.

I was given the 800 number for the laughingly mis-named "Customer Care". For those of you who have never had the joy of speaking to an Indian speaking a horrible and difficult to understand English, avoid the pain and don't buy a Dell computer.

These people obviously do not give a damn and also very obviously are not measured on how well they help customers. Their job seems to be to get you off the phone as quickly as possible, and pass you on to another Indian at a different 800 number.

Of course, nothing is entered onto the computer in your record, so each and every time you begin from the beginning. You are then usually told that this is the wrong place and the NEXT 800 number you get transferred to will help you. Eventually, you either get totally frustrated and hang up, or someone tells you that something will happen that never does.

I went back to the kiosk at Countryside Mall and demanded an answer. The folks there had the same 800 numbers that I had, and got blown off the exact same way. I asked if they had live chat or instant messaging to contact someone that might be able to do some good. No chance, this is Dell. E-mail and cell phones is as good as it gets. The Manager On Duty was e-mailed and e-mailed back that he had issued a trouble ticket and that they should check back Saturday afternoon.

I went back to the kiosk Saturday afternoon to find exactly nothing different. The MOD was e-mailed and he curtly wrote back to have them tell me that I'd be contacted in due time. I was infuriated and told the clerk to e-mail back and tell the almighty MOD that HIS time was up and that he and Dell could kiss my a** because I was cancelling the order and going down the street to CompUSA.

I received an 800 number to cancel my order. I called and was politely informed by the token Indian that, as usual, I called the wrong 800 number, but that she could connect me. The next Indian assured me that the order was cancelled and that I would receive my money back in 7 - 14 days.

Those of you who have made the mistake of doing business with Dell already know the result. On day 15, I called looking for my money. I called the 2nd 800 number in the order cancellation boogie and was informed that I needed to speak to someone else. Once again, I repeated the story and was assured that THIS time, the money would be sent in 24 - 48 hours. I was even given a tracking number. The Indians are really getting creative now. Nothing appears to be integrated in the Dell systems, so what good would you think a tracking number would be?

The answer is that it's worthless. Three days later I called and, of course, nobody knew anything and really could care less. Dell had over $3,000 of my money for two computers they never made or shipped and against a cancelled order.

We called again last Friday and were told that we needed to fax the front and back of the check to "Prepaid" at Dell. A very concerned gentleman assured my partner that the check would be immediately forthcoming once this was received.

In fact, since the fax wasn't received that day, he e-mailed her and said:
"I am writing this to know whether you were able to fax the copy of cashed check to the prepaids ? Again please accept my sincere apology on behalf of dell.We are working on the issue to get it resolved as soon as possible.I really appreciate your cooperation with us in resolving the issue.

I will keep a track of the process & ensure this problem is solved.Awaiting for your reply.

Should you require any assistance, please contact me.We appreciate your business.

Thank You,
Yours Sincerely,

Mohammed Abdullah (Adam)
Dell Home Sales Customer Care
Dell Inc.
[email protected]"

That was then, this is now. She called this very day saying that the fax was sent Saturday and wanted to know the staus. Nobody knew the status, or if the fax of the check had been received. We were assured, however, that the reimbursement check would arrive in 24 to 48 hours. That seems to be the standard Dell lie when it comes to getting your own money returned.

We have e-mailed Mohammed Abdullah to see if he can tell us where our money is, but I'd guess he's a fired employee if Dell ever finds out that he actually tried to help resolve a problem.

What I think is really laughable is the success seminars featuring Michael Dell. What a way to run a business. Hire cheap Indians to waste your customers time. Solve no problems and then steal their money. Imagine how much interest they make holding on to customer refunds for months on end.

In summary, take some good advice, DON'T BUY A DELL COMPUTER!! Ask yourself why you should wait a week for delivery and then have a customer service nightmare, when you can go to any CompUSA, drive home with a computer and get excellent support right in the store.

If I ever get my money back from the thieves at Dell, I'll be sure to post here. In the meantime, I'm planning on seeing if the Texas Attorney General's Office has avoided becoming a wholly owned Dell subsidiary and filing a fraud complaint against this company.