Things to ponder......

[Mr. Pickles]

Very funny. Email signature fodder.

Thanks for starting the topic Sowulo!

[zorak]

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

[Sowulo]

I sent the second list to a friend who replied accordingly:

I forwarded your questions to ponder on and somebody answered them. I
thought you might get a kick out of it. (Questions are at the bottom)


1. ****
2. PLANKS
3. QUEER
4. HOMELESS
5. HE MISSED
6. PROTECT THE NEEDLE
7. IT'S WET
8. ROB THEM
9. WHO CAN'T?
10. IT'S MISPRONOUNCED
11. WHY ARE THEY IN PUERTO RICO?
12. PARACHUTES ARE TOO LUMPY TO SIT ON.
13. WHY DON'T YOU NEED A DRIVERS LICENSE TO BUY GAS? (SEE #9)
14. ASK JOHN LENNON
15. HE DRIVES ON THE SNOW
16. TO KEEP THE HOSTAGES FROM GETTING AWAY
17. DOWN WITH PANTIES!
18. BECAUSE NO ONE COULD SEE
19. BRAS
20. SQUEEZE TEXAS
21. NO, GRASS DOES
22. RELATIVELY NOTHING
23. IF YOU PUT IT ALL ON A TRAIN, IT'S ALL CALLED FREIGHT
24. THEIR WOOL DOES
25. OH ****!
26. WHY DO THEY CALL THEM BUILDINGS WHEN THEY ARE ALREADY BUILT?
27. YES
28. HOW ABOUT "PREFERRED LANDING ZONES"
__________________________
1. What do chickens think we taste like?
2. What do people in China call their good plates?
3. What do you call a male ladybug?
4. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
5. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
6. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
7. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
8. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
9. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
10. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
11. Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?
12. Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
13. Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
14. Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
15. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
16. If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?
17. Why is a bra singular and panties plural?
18. You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
19. If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
20. If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
21. If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?
22. If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
23. Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
24. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
25. What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
26. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
27. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of Progress
28. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

[firemonkey]

Night , Evening mean the same thing;
add good the the front and one is said as a greeting and one a goodbye two opposite concepts

[Geek #1]

"And the next tonight will be tomorrow night, Goodnight."

[Mayhem]

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?
10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
11. Is there another word for synonym?
12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
13. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
15. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
17. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
20. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
21. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
22. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
23. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
24. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
25. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
26. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
27. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
28. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
29. The older you get, the better you realize you were.
30. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
31. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
32. Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
33. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
34. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
35. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
36. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
37. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
38. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
39. If God dropped acid, would he see people?
40. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
41. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
42. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
43. If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
44. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
45. A bathtub full of otter is damn fine entertainment for the money
46. Fish don't like jello.

[I.R. Admin]

Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

[JungleMan1]

[quote]Originally posted by Sowulo:
<strong>****</strong><hr></blockquote>

I thought we'd never see the day where the wise Sowulo uses such language

[Sowulo]

[quote]Originally posted by JungleMan:
<strong>

I thought we'd never see the day where the wise Sowulo uses such language </strong><hr></blockquote>

It's all about context....It was a quote.

[DANIMAL]

[quote]Originally posted by Sowulo:
<strong>

It's all about context....It was a quote. </strong><hr></blockquote>

You could have said Poop and we wouldn't have known the dfference.

[JungleMan1]

[quote]Originally posted by Sowulo:
<strong>

It's all about context....It was a quote. </strong><hr></blockquote>

I know, I just couldn't resist quoting you saying, in all caps, "****"

[Sowulo]

[quote]Originally posted by Danimal:
<strong>

You could have said Poop and we wouldn't have known the dfference. </strong><hr></blockquote>

I could have but then I would have been misquoting my source......

[ßracius]

[quote]Originally posted by Sowulo:
<strong>

I could have but then I would have been misquoting my source...... </strong><hr></blockquote>

or so you say!

[Mayet]

[quote]Originally posted by Spork:
<strong>If a person with multiple personalities kills himself, is it still considered suicide?</strong><hr></blockquote>

No but the detectives would have a darned time interviewing the witnesses

they are all great and i think we all think these silly weird thoughts at times...me seemingly more than others around me irl
I see a lot of familiar lines in sowulos post.........