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September 1st, 2003, 04:58 PM
#1
Registered User
Computer Jokes...Anyone?
Hey Gang,
Anybody heard any computer jokes lately, or maybe your computer is a joke...eh, eh.
Anyway, I'll start us off wit this one:Top Five Reasons Computers Must Be Female
5. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
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September 2nd, 2003, 06:38 AM
#2
Senior Member - 1000+ Club
What goes "Peices of seven! Peices of seven!"?
A parroty error
I'm in charge and I say we blow it up
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September 2nd, 2003, 02:34 PM
#3
Registered User
I'm surprised nobody here knows any good computer jokes, or maybe you need four letter words to tell them. Okay, here's another:
It is the year 2100. Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing battle over control on Earth. Each had been trying to destroy the other but Man kept resurrecting them. Finally God challenged them to a computer contest. And whoever won, got control over Earth....
In the first round they had to build their own computer. So they built each these super-duper computers, each with every part conceiveable and inconceiveable to man.
Then they had to use the computers they built and God was giving them rapid fire instructions at lightening fast speed. Each finished at about a tie.
The final round was the word processing round. Each Jesus and Satan were neck and neck at this round too, typing at about 1,000,000 wps. Finally God pulled a fast one. He deliberately caused a power outage. All the power in both Satan's and Jesus' computer was gone.
After the power was restored the contest was declared over. Satan was bitter and empty handed because all his work was gone. Jesus, on the other hand was jubililant and singing praises of the Lord, "Why?"
God shrugged and said, because..... "Jesus saves".
Last edited by Orangeman; September 2nd, 2003 at 02:40 PM.
Bouncy Bouncy
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September 2nd, 2003, 02:42 PM
#4
Banned
Booo...Hissssss.
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September 2nd, 2003, 02:42 PM
#5
Chat Operator
9x computer practical joke..
edit msdos.sys, add the line
"bootsafe=1"
Watch tech tear hair out trying to fix.
<Ferrit> Take 1 live chicken, cut the head off, dance around doing the hokey pokey and chanting: GO AWAY BAD VIRUS, GO AWAY BAD VIRUS
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Windows 7 Pro x64
Asus P5QL Deluxe
Intel Q6600
nVidia 8800 GTS 320
6 gigs of Ram
2x60 gig OCZ Vertex SSD (raid 0)
WD Black 750 gig
Antec Tri power 750 Watt PSU
Lots of fans
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September 2nd, 2003, 03:09 PM
#6
Registered User
Matridom you are an evil evil man..... between that joke and the little spying program you found for that other thread .....
No job is so simple that it cannot be done wrong
Comprehension is not a prerequisite of your cooperation.
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September 2nd, 2003, 03:13 PM
#7
Chat Operator
Originally posted by Kineda
Matridom you are an evil evil man..... between that joke and the little spying program you found for that other thread .....
/me takes a bow
<Ferrit> Take 1 live chicken, cut the head off, dance around doing the hokey pokey and chanting: GO AWAY BAD VIRUS, GO AWAY BAD VIRUS
-----------------------
Windows 7 Pro x64
Asus P5QL Deluxe
Intel Q6600
nVidia 8800 GTS 320
6 gigs of Ram
2x60 gig OCZ Vertex SSD (raid 0)
WD Black 750 gig
Antec Tri power 750 Watt PSU
Lots of fans
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September 2nd, 2003, 03:14 PM
#8
Registered User
No job is so simple that it cannot be done wrong
Comprehension is not a prerequisite of your cooperation.
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September 2nd, 2003, 03:25 PM
#9
Chat Operator
i know, I've learned a lot being the "butt" of many of these jokes.. This IS karma
<Ferrit> Take 1 live chicken, cut the head off, dance around doing the hokey pokey and chanting: GO AWAY BAD VIRUS, GO AWAY BAD VIRUS
-----------------------
Windows 7 Pro x64
Asus P5QL Deluxe
Intel Q6600
nVidia 8800 GTS 320
6 gigs of Ram
2x60 gig OCZ Vertex SSD (raid 0)
WD Black 750 gig
Antec Tri power 750 Watt PSU
Lots of fans
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September 2nd, 2003, 03:32 PM
#10
Registered User
im gonna have to remember the 98 joke tho i got a newbie temp coming in in a week, you know one of the guys that killed our industry....he was one of the mooks that heard an ad on the radio about boot camp and said i can do that...u should see his resume after only being a tech for 3 months, if i find a scanner i'll post it....
No job is so simple that it cannot be done wrong
Comprehension is not a prerequisite of your cooperation.
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September 2nd, 2003, 03:36 PM
#11
Registered User
Originally posted by Kineda
Matridom you are an evil evil man..... between that joke and the little spying program you found for that other thread .....
I missed that one.... where's that?
The Artisan formerly known as A+Tech.
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September 2nd, 2003, 03:38 PM
#12
Registered User
Originally posted by ephmynus
I missed that one.... where's that?
Sneaky
No job is so simple that it cannot be done wrong
Comprehension is not a prerequisite of your cooperation.
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September 2nd, 2003, 03:39 PM
#13
Chat Operator
Originally posted by Kineda
im gonna have to remember the 98 joke tho i got a newbie temp coming in in a week, you know one of the guys that killed our industry....he was one of the mooks that heard an ad on the radio about boot camp and said i can do that...u should see his resume after only being a tech for 3 months, if i find a scanner i'll post it....
hmm... Let me find some stuff to post for later.....
edit : Lot's of good stuff here..
http://support.microsoft.com/default...b;en-us;118579
These three in commbination are a killer..
BootKeys=Boolean
Default: 1
Purpose: A setting of 1 enables the use of the function key boot options (that is, F4, F5, F6, F8, and CTRL). A setting of 0 disables the use of these function keys during the boot process
BootSafe=Boolean
Default: 0
Purpose: A setting of 1 forces your computer to boot in Safe mode.
BootWarn=Boolean
Default: 1
Purpose: A setting of 0 disables the Safe-mode boot warning message and the Startup menu.
Last edited by Matridom; September 2nd, 2003 at 03:53 PM.
<Ferrit> Take 1 live chicken, cut the head off, dance around doing the hokey pokey and chanting: GO AWAY BAD VIRUS, GO AWAY BAD VIRUS
-----------------------
Windows 7 Pro x64
Asus P5QL Deluxe
Intel Q6600
nVidia 8800 GTS 320
6 gigs of Ram
2x60 gig OCZ Vertex SSD (raid 0)
WD Black 750 gig
Antec Tri power 750 Watt PSU
Lots of fans
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September 2nd, 2003, 04:15 PM
#14
Registered User
I can just imagine someone disassembling their computer, checking their RAM, reloading Windws, reformating their hard drive, and even getting a new computer because it only booted into Safe Mode. That's WICKED!!!
Another thing to do is to delete the MSDOS.SYS file completely. It won't boot at all. Its not as deadly but a lot of people will go nuts trying to fix it.
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September 2nd, 2003, 04:21 PM
#15
Registered User
No job is so simple that it cannot be done wrong
Comprehension is not a prerequisite of your cooperation.
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