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November 3rd, 2009, 05:39 PM
#646
Chi Ken, Mr. P. and Madame Butterfly emerged from the dimly lit entrails of the 'Hello There, Sailor!' and looked for the source of the ' Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........................ '.
Espying the Damsels and the leering threesome and the now cavorting Mags, they made haste to join the fish-fry and general madness!
Approaching the now crowded cooking area, Chi Ken said ".........
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November 17th, 2009, 12:38 PM
#647
Registered User
"Got room for another three?" He stepped aside to reveal the keg they had dragged along with them and added, "We have beer!"
Padre Pepe, the ebullient man of the cloth, stood up, somewhat wobbly-legged, and laughed, "Claro que si! Of coursh, me amigo, thersh alwaysh room for more!" And promptly flopped down on his rump, much to the delight of his companions.
I didn't surrender, but they took my horse and made him surrender. They have him pulling a wagon up in Kansas I bet.
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November 17th, 2009, 05:41 PM
#648
Upon the horizon, outlined on the seashore by the brilliant blue sky against the aquamarine of the gently rolling sea, appeared the tri-sail of an island schooner.
These were known to be peopled by pirates, but were also popular with eco-tourists that wanted a taste of WOTPP type planets without the unsightly teleporting sickness.
In any event, the sails were seen, the ship was nigh, and the first person to have seen it was Mags, the shoreline frolicker.
With her usual complaceny she pointed and shrieked "What the hell's that?"
Padre Pepe fell over and snored.
Ahab, however, not unaccustomed to dangerous dealings, answered ".........
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November 23rd, 2009, 02:30 PM
#649
Registered User
... "Belay that frolicking, mates! Thar's a storm a'coming and we need to batten down our hatches!"
The rest of the Tipsy Fish Fryers stared at Ahab, goggle-eyed, struggling to comprehend his authentic Sea-Faring Gibberish. Ahab, noticing the fiesh-eyed balnk stares he was getting, realized he was amid a pack of land-loving, land lubbers and his work was cut out for him.
He cleared his throat and said, "Pay attention! A ship approaches and it could be trouble."
"Ahh!" they sighed collectively and proceeded to arm themselves with an odd assortment of weaponry, much of which had been hidden among the pleats and folds of the ladies' garments.
Last edited by El_Squid; November 23rd, 2009 at 02:30 PM.
Reason: usual reasons, typos and errata
I didn't surrender, but they took my horse and made him surrender. They have him pulling a wagon up in Kansas I bet.
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December 23rd, 2009, 11:25 AM
#650
Registered User
The ragged, storm-tossed ship sailed into plain view, revealing it's identity, The Dark Chocolate Pearl. Legendary pirate ship, commanded by none other than Cap'n Jocko McDepp, scourge of the cheap dives and bar rooms of Testudo, the Dark Chocolate Pearl was rumored to have a creamy nougat filling no living man had ever seen.
"what arrr you doin'?" bellowed Cap'n Jocko at the Fish Frying Frolickers on the beach...
I didn't surrender, but they took my horse and made him surrender. They have him pulling a wagon up in Kansas I bet.
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December 27th, 2009, 09:46 AM
#651
Registered User
Hey Mags,I been gone a while glad to see your thread still running here.
Can anyone remember exactly what's happened so far?
Must be a book in here for someone...lol
"We Must Have Toliver Gravy!"Said The Bloody
Little Yellow Lumbermen To The Forum King.
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December 30th, 2009, 03:26 PM
#652
Registered User
Pssssssssssssssst................. yes, the book is now available on Amazon !
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December 30th, 2009, 05:37 PM
#653
The foredeck (and mid and aft and upper and lower, if the truth be told) of the Dark Chocolate Pearl was awash with heavilly armed and leering pirates, all ready to hit the surf, ravage the locals, and drink in the local (the Hello There Sailor).
The Vessel of Viciousness was mere yards from the dock when a flurry of tentacular arms siezed it bow to stern, port to starboard, and began drawing it backwards towards the deep part of the nearby waters called 'Cephalopod Centre'.
The myriad of piratical types hacked, slashed, swore, stabbed, cursed, cried and tried to leap clear, but to no avail.
The dastardly crew was drawn, man and pilgrim, into the deeps.
One sole survivor clung to a barrel half-filled with imported rum, and kick-paddled to shore.
Emerging unarmed from the surf, Jocko said to Ahab .............
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January 8th, 2010, 01:34 PM
#654
Registered User
"Well that was totally unexpected!" then added, "Permission to come ashore, Cap'n!"
"Arrh, permission granted," Ahab growled with an authentic, barnacley accent, "And, bring that cask o' spirits wit' ye, lad!"
Ahab and the cask-toting Jocko joined the rest of the still goggle-eyed revelers by the fire pit. The rum sloshed deliciously, as the cask thudded into the soft sand, which prompted a veritable cornucopia of tropical fruit to appear from pockets and purses of the revelers. Limes, coconuts, mangoes, lemons, pineapples and so forth, piled into a heap next to the cask.
Jocko, having completely forgotten about his ill-starred mates, looked around and asked, "So, does anyone have a favorite drink?"
The reply was ...
I didn't surrender, but they took my horse and made him surrender. They have him pulling a wagon up in Kansas I bet.
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February 17th, 2010, 02:45 PM
#655
The reply was ..."Shut up and pour!"
And with that, they set about draining the keg plus 3 of grog and ale brought from the Hello There Sailors' cavernous storage (indeed, it was a cavern cut deep into the cliffs along the shoreline).
Much laughter and tales of derring and dopy do were tossed about.
As night fell, the first stars shone upon the totally inebriated gathering, and shadowy, shambling shapes shifted steathily toward them from the, er, shadows.
Hearing a scuffle of footsteps, Ahab opened a bleary eye and saw.........
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March 5th, 2010, 12:46 AM
#656
and saw.. Moby slurking down through the inky darkness (foreshadowing here, eh?) to the end of wharf that adjoined the backside (irony) of Hello There Sailor's warehouse, which was built on piles (bad pun), by the way. Suddenly there was a roiling of water and a lot of excited clicking (requires Quicktime) sounding as if a large number of 78 RPM gramophones had been left going with the needles in the run-out groove.
An evil smirk seemed to flicker momentarily across Moby's face as a cloud-dappled shaft of moonlight fought to break through the bleak overcast sky of the dark and stormy night. And then in an instant, he was off the end of the wharf and into the teaming, turbulent water of the foetid harbour.
BBC: Bwa Ha Ha Ha!
There was a sudden flash of lightening, and then followed the resounding peals of thunder like the laughter of some evil, malevolent god.
He didn't know it, yet, but the Squid was in trouble, big trouble.
____________________________________________
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
Last edited by houseisland; March 5th, 2010 at 12:50 AM.
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March 5th, 2010, 03:34 PM
#657
Registered User
....for young Daisy, who hasn't been seen for quite a while, toddled along and shouted at the Squid, 'do you realise this load of twaddle has been going on and on and on and on for over four years?! And the Women of the Prehistoric Planet seem to have disappeared and the whole place has been overrun by those creatures...... called MEN !! WHAT ARE you going to do about it, Squid ?'
Daisy sits back in a comfortable deckchair, with an icecream topped with a cherry, to watch developments....
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March 8th, 2010, 01:39 PM
#658
Registered User
"Zounds!" exclaimed the startled cephalopod, ignoring the Whale song which echoed eerily in the background. "Where have you been hiding, young Daisy?"
The Tentacled Terror From The Deep felt immensely relieved and pleasantly surprised at the reappearance of one of the Prehistoric Women. As much as the lads had been trying to carry on in their absence, the Prehistoric Women were the Heart and Soul of the whole thread afteall. That, plus the icecream looked very, very tasty.
[All nonsense aside, how are you, Mags? I am hoping life has been good to you and the roads you have travelled have been level and smooth.]
I didn't surrender, but they took my horse and made him surrender. They have him pulling a wagon up in Kansas I bet.
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March 12th, 2010, 09:23 PM
#659
The Squid, having been stupefied by the clicking chaos, forgot the Szechuan minced squid episode, and fixated on the ice cream, he stared.
Suddenly Daisy was distracted by the appearance of Ahab in the doorway of the Hello There Sailor warehouse. It all rushed back to her, the sailor moon costume, the rubber sheets, the handcuffs, the peg leg. She stared. Ahab stared, his heart suddenly caught in his throat.
The Squid stared but not for long. Slyly, surreptitiously, silently, suddenly, savagely, he plucked Daisy's cherry, from her ice cream.
Meanwhile, heeding the newly posted notice, two small terriers and a single bone, perhaps a bovine femur, exited stage left. Arf adieu.
____________________________________________
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
Last edited by houseisland; March 12th, 2010 at 09:28 PM.
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March 17th, 2010, 01:31 PM
#660
Registered User
Daisy screamed ..... 'where has my cherry gone? I can't enjoy my icecream without the cherry' .... and dashed off in hot pursuit of El Squid .... who with a gleam in his clammy eye ......
(Mags is not so well,
Dr put her on highly
addictive prescription
drug 10 years ago
and she's been trying
to get off it, but Dr
reduced it by too great
a cut, so Mags mind
and emotions have been
all over the shoot ...and
far from being out of the
wood yet .....)
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