Rate your hangover

[gazzak]

Hangover Ratings

1 star hangover
No pain. no real feeling of illness. You slept in your own bed and when you woke up there were no traffic cones in there with you.
You are still able to function relatively well on the energy stored up from all those vodka redbulls, however, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel as parched as the Sahara.
Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a bag of fries.

2 star hangover
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler.
The coffee you hug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast.
Although you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is some light filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.

3 star hangover
Slight headache. stomach feels crap. You are definitely a space cadet and not so productive.
Anytime a girl or lad walks by you gag because the perfume/aftershave reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 am.

Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen doughnuts and a litre of coke watching daytime TV.
You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke yet you haven't peed once.

4 star hangover
You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might spew.
Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze.
You wore nice clothes, but you smell of socks, and you can't hide the fact that you (depending on your gender) either missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving or it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the dodgems.
Your teeth have their own individual sweaters. Your eyes look like one big vein and your hairstyle makes you look like a reject from a second-grade class circa 1976.
You would give a weeks pay for one of the following - home time, a doughnut and somewhere to be alone, or a Time Machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.
You scare small children in the street just by walking past them.

5 star hangover
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits next to you.
Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy.
You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth.

Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you.
You'd cry but that would take the last drop of moisture left in your body.
Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is breathe... very gently.

6 star hangover
You arrive home and climb into bed.
Sleep comes instantly, as you were fighting it all the way home in the taxi.
You get about 2 hours sleep until the noises inside your head wake you up.
You notice that your bed has been cleared for take off and is flying relentlessly around the room. No matter what you do you know, you're going to chuck.
You stumble out of bed and now find that your room is in a yacht under full sail.
After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls knocking off all the pictures, you find the toilet. If you are lucky you will remember to lift the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up with your impersonation of walrus mating calls.
You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the walrus noises, spitting, and farting. Help usually comes at this stage, even if it is short lived.
Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts. Help now turns into abuse and he/she usually goes back to bed leaving you there in the dark.
With your stomach totally empty, your spontaneous eruptions have died back to 15-minute intervals, but your body won't relent.
You are convinced that you are starting to turn yourself inside out and swear that you saw your tonsils shoot out of your mouth on the last occasion.

It is now dawn and you pass your disgusted partner getting up for the day as you try to climb into bed. She/he abuses you again for trying to get into bed with lumpy bits of dried vomit in your hair.
You reluctantly accept their advice and have a shower in exchange for them driving you to the hospital.
Work is simply not an option. The whole day is spent trying to avoid anything that might make you sick again, like moving.
You vow never to touch a drop again and who knows for the next two or three hours at least you might even succeed.

[FatalException0E]

OK, so a 3 star is the worst I've ever had.

[El_Squid]

How about the one that feels like somebody drove a raiload spike through your eye into your brain, and left it there?

[3fingersalute]

Weekends usually are a 5, sometimes a 6 if it was a great night.

Weekdays, I don't like to go above a 3!

[thirdfey]

Ok, I have surpassed all of those with which I am going to refer to as a 7 star hangover,

After drinking several newcastles you switch to a couple shots of jaegermeister, then a couple royal flushes, then some more newcastle, then a couple bud lights because you're thirsty and can't find any water, then jaeger, royal flush, 3 white russians, at this time it is 1:30am and this is after the Dave Chappelle Rick James episode so you have made it a point to tell everyone at the bars you have visited that you are "Rick James Bitch" then do a flaming dr. pepper and are suddenly awake at 11am in your bed not knowing how you got there with stuff all over your bed and are unable to hold down a glass of water then add all the other things from the previous 6 stars.

I only drink bud light now when I go out.

[3fingersalute]

Ok, I have surpassed all of those with which I am going to refer to as a 7 star hangover,

After drinking several newcastles you switch to a couple shots of jaegermeister, then a couple royal flushes, then some more newcastle, then a couple bud lights because you're thirsty and can't find any water, then jaeger, royal flush, 3 white russians, at this time it is 1:30am and this is after the Dave Chappelle Rick James episode so you have made it a point to tell everyone at the bars you have visited that you are "Rick James Bitch" then do a flaming dr. pepper and are suddenly awake at 11am in your bed not knowing how you got there with stuff all over your bed and are unable to hold down a glass of water then add all the other things from the previous 6 stars.

I only drink bud light now when I go out.

I love newcastle...........my fav. beer. Just wish I coud afford to always buy it.

[Cleetus]

Today is a two.

I consider a 7 when you have a six, but the next day you are still at 2-3. Had that a couple months ago, went to have some margarita's, we each had 2 pitchers. Tequila is so bad.

[El_Squid]

Today is a two.

I consider a 7 when you have a six, but the next day you are still at 2-3. Had that a couple months ago, went to have some margarita's, we each had 2 pitchers. Tequila is so bad.

I can no longer even smell Tequila without getting nauseous.

It is some seriously bad stuff.

[thorian]

and never have your bachelor party the night before. started the night with a guinness at teh house then hit the first restaraunt and had a martirtini ( kerosine in a glass) then 4 more guniess then a couple of irish carbombs ( this is when stuff starts getting fuzzy) I think there was a pitcher of margaretas involved (with a straw for me) somore drinks that I cant remember then when that place shut its doors at 12 we went to this little hole in the wall hick bar next to a Gentlemans Club. I was force fed several more mixed drinks of unknown origin a bud lite and my best frend sees me leaning against the bar and hands me what i thought was a plain glass of orange juce. I thanked him for the juce and then drank it all ( I couldent taste the 4 shots of sky Vodka in it and it was grapefruit juce not orange) Honestly i dont remember much after that there were a few attractive ladies that tied me to a pole and i assume thy beat the hell outta me. (i felt no pain and i dont remember what happened after they put the handcuffs on) there are a few other breif flashes of the evening and more budlite. then black. I awoke sprawled out on my living room floor to my dog Howling (samoyed, think sled dog) at my feet the most mournful sound that i have ever heard. After I was able to get teh strength to open my eyes i was looking at the preacher that was in town to marry us looking right down at me. I figured Yep im dead the dog is mourning my passing and the preacher is here to bury my sorry ***. I knew that I was alive but wishing i was dead when Jeffery ( the preacher) said I think you are going to puke now. at wich point i said probally and yacked in a stock pot that my soon to be wife stuck under my arm. The wedding was 6 hours later and i think it was one of those drunks when you wake up still drunk. So I take a shower and there are a series of handprints all over my chest ( hence the reason i thought they beat the hell outta me) and i cannot recall how they got there. I was surprised i was able to stand long enough to say I DO. And I didnt even get killed by the wife. of corse i showed her the prints after the cerimony.


if 6 is the worst there That one was a 9 ( 2 days of hangover and i havent drunk more then 3 in the same night ever since)

[Spaceman Spiff]

I've been crawlin'-home drunk, but I don't ever recall having a hangover...

[thirdfey]

i fold, thorian's got me beat

[3fingersalute]

I've been crawlin'-home drunk, but I don't ever recall having a hangover...

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, you use the old avoid the hangover method?........You can't be hungover if you're always drunk??

[thirdfey]

I've been crawlin'-home drunk, but I don't ever recall having a hangover...

you just weren't drunk enough

[3fingersalute]

you just weren't drunk enough

I you can still crawl, you're not drunk enough!

[Outcoded]

Have two types of hangover:

0 star hangover
'Nuff said, less than half my body weight in alcohol

7 star hangover
10-14+ hour coma. Wake up with a zero though

When it's a 7, nothing wakes me, I used to live in a 1 room apartment with the head of my bed against the corridor wall and a 115dB fire siren on the other side of that wall. Would routinely sleep straight through it.