MIS Dept: Miscellaneous Idiotic Stupidities?

OK: This is one that bugs me. I am currently contracted out onsite for a large corporation. I am basically running the MIS dept. The things I get called on to do... I was wondering what the most unrelated (to MIS)things anybody else gets called in to do, you know, the "Oh, my toaster has a plug! I'll call the MIS guy to fix it!" situations. I am constantly getting calls to fix stuff that has only the barest connection to the computer systems. I know I'm not alone. So let's hear your stories... https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2000/09/1.gif

For example: I know one guy that was told to drop everything to rush to the ceo's office. When he got there the emergency was: Hook up the guy's new Playstation.

Also, alternative acronyms for MIS could be good...

I am the Network Administrator in my company and unfortuneately am the ONLY 'computer guy'. I get called on to: fix the date and time on the fax machine, change light bulbs (after all they do use electricity), run errands and much more useless crap.

Magnificant Idiotic Stories.
After all, that is what you get when you ask me the crap I have to deal with.

Hey, at least you guys don't work in a computer store.
"Hi, I have a Chrysler, and I need to get the computer fixed for it."
"Um...you have to call a car repair shop for that..."
"You guys don't fix all kinds of computers?"
"No sir, just IBM compatibles."
"Well, do you know who I would call to get the computer fixed?"
"Hmm...why not where you bought it?"

"Hi, I have an Apple computer that's not working."
"Sorry, we don't fix Apples."
"Well, if I told you what's wrong, do you think you might know?"
"No, sorry, we don't fix Apples. I've never touched one, I don't know how to fix them at all."
"Well, when I power it up, I get a sad face. What does that mean?"
"I don't know anything about Apples."
"Do you know who does?"
"Hmm...Nope. It would say in the phone book..."

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***the Beast
- Fate drove me here...then told me to get out of the car...

I had a deal like that at my old job:

I was contracted for summer to build this small company's website (nothing fancy, just functional) and, unfortunately, I ended up the only person there that knows how to do more with a computer than just click the mouse.

I was officially the Web Designer, but I ended up being PC Tech, Network Admin, Installation Tech, Fix-My-Misc-Broken-Electric-Thingie Guy, Fax Machine Repair Man, Photocopier Repair Man...you get the idea. Anything that had a plug or used electricity in some form that was busted, I got to fix -- even the toilets at times (yeah, I felt respected there)!

Probably the most irritating thing is the President of the company (as senile(sp?) as he is) thinks the guy that printed signs for the company was a genius with computers because he installed software once. >:P

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CUSTOMER.EXE cannot find file BRAIN.DLL - program will continue to talk anyway

I love this topic. I could go on and on and on.

I am the only MIS guy here as well.
List of things I have had to do....

Build my bosses personal pc, in addition to getting calls on my weekends and nights about his troubles on it.

Going with my boss to the store to buy $350 of 12-packs of soda to fill the soda machine.

Fill the soda machine.

Unjam the flucking copier.

Unjam the flucking fax machine.

Fix the footrest EVERY MORNING on one manager's chair.

Go to radio shack for telephone adapter/plugs/connectors/wires/batteries/misc office electrronics.

Go to the post office.

Go to the bank to make deposits!?!?!?!
(and we have 2 bookkeepers!)

Clean.

Change phones out if one's broken.

Move desks. (that have nothing to do with moving desks for computer reasons whatsoever)

Take the boss to the carwash to pick up his car.

Make lunch runs for the boss and his secretary. Uh huh, for the secretary. (sigh)

Find personal items and personal tasks for the boss on the internet for him, since I am the computer guy. (couch, tv, grocery shopping at groceryworks.com, etc.)

Take the bosses expensive car to get inspected.

Go to Office Depot for a calculator, at 5pm in rush hour off one of Houston, TX most busiest streets...Westheimer. (when i am supposed to be off at 5pm...salary is a beeyatch)

If you guys want more, just ask! I can list more!

Anyone who can beat that...I gotta hear it!

Misunderstood Inverted Secretaries.

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Do one thing everyday that scares you!

Had a customer recently bring back a scanner. He said he wanted a better one because this one didn't do what he wanted, it was a HP 4200. ($300 scanner, Maybe if I through more money at the problem?) So I asked what the problem was. He says, " well, it scans pictures fine, but when I go to print it out it prints it in the upper left hand corner of the page. I want it to print in the center of the page, I even tried putting the picture in the middle of the scanner, it still does the same thing."

So, I explain that the scanner will only actualy scan the image itself, any white area around it won't be part of the actual scan, so moving the picture on the scanner bed won't make a difference, and that by default it prints in the upper left corner. I went on to explain that the picture can be printed anywhere on the page as large or small as he wants, with borders or whatever he wants, he just has to set those options in the software.

He says, "well how do I do that?" It was a realy busy day and I didn't have 10 hrs to teach him the finer points of image scanning, so I said, "I'm sure the manuals that came with the scanner and the software will explain better than I can just how to do that. (This is where it gets really funny)

He says, angrily, "Idon't want to have to LEARN anything, I just want it to DO it."

I gave him his money back and prayed he would never come back.

MIS = Mostly Imbeciles Served.

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There is no Spoon!

I had a call to install a CDRW at a house. Before I left they asked me to look at the Kareoke machine he'd bought his daughter. It had never worked. I told the guy that I didn't know a thing about them, but he insisted I try.

The unit hooked up to the VCR, and I ended up 'fixing' it by hitting turning the TV to channel to 3 and hitting the TV/VCR button.

A week later it stopped working so they called the shop to have me fix it. Doh! We told them to call back in a week because we were booked up, and they haven't called back since. Maybe the little girl fixed it.

[This message has been edited by SavagePenguin (edited August 24, 2000).]

Actually Beast, I do work for a computer store. I'm a full time, (oops, i mean over time) tech that's being contracted out to an MIS position... I get the best of both worlds... also I'm in charge of the tech shop back at the store, so add management hassles to that too... ich... I've got stories, man, i've got stories... Been working shop tech for 3+yrs, Network for 1+ yrs...
Basically in the situation I'm in now, I'm not only in charge of 15+ servers, with 6+ Operating Systems, (HP-UX, Solaris, NT, Novell, etc...) I am now designated phone fix-it guy, (I actually now know quite a bit about Lucent Definity Systems...) "if it has a plug, you fix it" guy... (ever worked on a burster? Automatic Tractor feed ripper... Talk about fearing for fingers. sheesh...) Plus God knows what else they'll have for tomorrow... (Hey the coffee machine isn't working!)

I was a network admin at my old job. Networking was what I went to school and was certified for as well. I was also hired under the impression that I would be doing ONLY SERVER and WORKSTATION administration...

So far, I've had to fix or build just about everything that I have had no training in. Items such as:

* Office equipment (including desks and bookshelfs).
* Fax machine
* Photo copier
* Laser printers (photocopiers are easier then these!)
* Monitors
* TV sets
* Radio
* Electronic scales
* Telephones and telephone jacks

- Some of these are indirectly related like Monitors and Laser printers but they are still a real hassel to fix, especially if you have never had one open before!