My trip

Dear Diary,

Well we are going to try out the transporter today. A bunch of the gang from Windrivers are coming with me. I can't say that I am to happy about it, they have spent the week saying crap like "Beam me up Scotty" and "I just can't do it captain". Anyways I decided to choose a remote and out of the way place to be "beamed" too: South America!

Well let me say that when I was "received" my "johnson" was attached to my *** . Great! Let me tell you that crabs on your *** if jsut annoying.... not that I have crabs or anything....ahem! Next I signial for them to beam me back (scotty) and I get some half *** remark... "Ah, Scott was drinking his Juicy Juice and it spilled on the controls". (By the way our engineer is really named Scott) Flipping great. I am stuck out in the goonies, with no water, No food, and my "whanker" stuck to my *** !

Week One:
Well I spent a week with a very friendly tribe, the "Jimjaboojum", who looked after me until SOME YAHOO COULD FIX THE TRANSPORTER! Well I spent my week trying to paint the "Giant white snake" with jimJim berry, which works better when it crushed to a pulp (had to find that out), for entertainment. Also NikNiktooooooook seems to like me. El Batcho seemed to be at home and even at night I can hear him banging the heck out of some chick chimp. I swear that it has to be the accent.

Bracius, I told you not to eat the brown acid!

someone needs a cat-scan...

"What you just said makes absolutely no sense. We are all dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul..." :D

dEAR cOLORiNg bOOk

Week One
Monday

Well I just spent the weekend tromping in a stream. I spell something like BBQ so I head towards the smell. This trip wouldn't be complete if I didn't have El Batcho swinging from the trees and flinging poop on me. I swear I am going to get that little monkey if it's the last thing I do. I'm tired of him stealing my socks and pooping in them!

Bracius

If it takes a chicken half a day to lay half an egg; how long does it take for a squirel to kick all the seeds off a pickle? <img src="confused.gif" border="0">

3......


Because icecream has no bones.

Someone needs a vacation real bad! :D <img src="confused.gif" border="0">

Week One
Tuesday:

I came in contact with a tribe that says "Jimjaboojum" everytime they see me. I don't know if that's what they call themselvs or if they are calling me stupid white boy. They seem to like my socks and have tried several time to peirce my "winnie" but cannot find it! AH AH! Maybe this azz-whanker is not that bad. I can hear El Batcho getting it on with the female chimps, atleast someone is getting some. I think I have a rash on my rear-end.

Bracius

Week One
Wednesday:

This whanker on my ars thing is not working out anymore. I can't sleep cause I crush my nuts, I can't sit cause I crush my nuts, and when I go to freaking pee I wet my pants because I forget that my johnson is on backwards!

I swear if El Batcho doesn't stop making all that noise I am going to kill him. Today sucks, some jungle woman man handled me and all the Jimmy people laughed at me.

Bracius

Dear Coloring book

It is quiet possible that Bracius has gone compleatly out of his mind and belives he has traved through space and time, the truth is that I slipped him some roofys and placed him under Sowulo's robes. All I can hear is him screaming and going on like a nut job, at this rate he will be compleatly bonkers with in a week, 3 months ahead of my plan.

Love you Elbatcho
ME

Week One
Thursday:

Well todau the Jimmy people made me paint some great white snake with some JimJu berry. I found that it is better to CRUSH the berry to a pulp BEFORE you paint the snake. Other wise the snake "SMILES" ,for a better word, at you and start to rub against you. Again the jimmy people laughed at me and made kissy faces at me. I don't think that it was good kind of kissy face!

Also I think I saw some of the forest "go funky". Like when some one shoots a phasor in a holodeck. I think something is afoot.

BTW if El Batcho finally came into camp today. He walked RIGHT PASSED ME and pee'ed in my shoes and then left again! What's up with that! Next time I am going to set a trap for him. He he he he.

Bracius