Operation Smurfberry - Complete
Saturday at 11:35am Operation Smurfberry went into operation. This was to be a dangerous mission for Agent “007” Smurf but he had to do it, Not only for the good of the male species but also for personal revenge. The target selected was “Smurfette” one of the very few who could call themselves “The Elite”. I admit she is good but I am better. I am older, wiser and I know how to kick *** .
Like any operation planning is always the crucial part of any mission. This was no different. I have had this in the pipeline for 3 weeks I just needed time to get my equipment in order.
I called a mate who works at an auto-salvage yard, which has a shop, attached to it selling all you will ever need for any car. He managed to get a car identical to Smurfettes and put it aside for my plan.
On Saturday I convinced Smurfette that she required a new air-filter for her car and suggested we take a run out to get one. We arrived at the auto-salvage shop and picked up a new air-filter. We were stood in the queue waiting our turn to be served. The guy in front was asking for a car to be crushed and was filling out all the paperwork required. Eventually he was done and said that the car was outside and threw the keys the manager. The manager went outside unlocked the car and released the hand break and wheeled it round the back. What was strange was this “key” fitted Smurfettes pride and joy.
Smurfette didn’t notice this happening. D’oh
We paid for the air filter and went outside to any empty parking space.
Smurfette was confused her car was missing just an empty parking space remained. She was about to call the police when I pointed to a red car being loaded onto a crusher, which looked exactly like hers. Too late to stop the car was in and crushed. Smurfette was speechless she just saw her car turn from a normal size car to something you could now sit on. She went to the manager and was demanding to know what happened. He said sorry he must have made an honest mistake and offered her “scrap” value for what was left. I admit I nearly lost it at this point and had to turn away to stop laughing. Smurfette however was a bit more upset and wanted her car back exactly the way it was. I enquired if her insurance would cover for this type of incident??
The manager put up a good fight for 5 minutes before taking her round the back to show her where her car was and that it all OK. He then explained that we switched cars to an identical car that was due to get crushed. I had borrowed the spare set of keys and gave them to my mate who was in the queue to get his car crushed.
And yes before anyone asks she is still speaking to me.
Cheers
Papa “Don’t mess with me” Smurf
:D :D
