the super (L)user

I have a celeron 700 64 MB pc100 ram ati rage pro and 100 GB ATA 133 hard disk I want to play the new doom game when it comes out at 350FPS at least how can I upgrade my system for 25 dollars to do this?

Also bonzia buddy rulz, all u lamerz who deny this just suck.

AMD chips are slow because intel uses 800 mhz RAM and Pentium is made by intel.

I always buy PCChips mainboards because they are the cheapest and one company makes all the mainboards for all the companies anyways so they're all the same

I drive a souped up civic dx and it kicks *** i beat vipers and ferrarris all the time because I put a sticker that says vtec on my car

im always right because i went to a one year computer school and they taught me everything, and i only am working this construction job because bill gates told them to fail me on the exam because he knows that i can outcode him anyday and hack microsoft any day i feel.

if anybody knows any more stereotypes about me post them because my ego is unquencable.

*** edited *becasue* i can't type well.

Well my brother / sister / cousin / es-S&M lover / ex-roomate is a systems engineer with >insert large computer manufacture< and he says that the reason why I'm only getting 16 colors at 640X480 is because my harddrive would be bad and it needs to be replaced. Don't tell me about drivers, he also said that those never do anyhting.

Or my favorite when I worked support:

"Aren't surge protectors and power strips the same thing? Why pay $50 for this one form APC when I gan buy this >insert generic brand cheap-a$$ power strip mfg< for only $5? It will protect my computer the same."

[quote]Originally posted by Draggar:
<strong>"Aren't surge protectors and power strips the same thing? Why pay $50 for this one form APC when I gan buy this >insert generic brand cheap-a$$ power strip mfg< for only $5? It will protect my computer the same."</strong><hr></blockquote>

I had my computer In last week because it was locking up and you told me to get a new surge strip ( no we did not, we said get a UPS unit. grrr) , and well I got a new surge strip and it is still locking up.

[quote]Originally posted by TrackMan:
<strong>*** becasue *** becasue *** becasue *** becasue *** becasue *** because </strong><hr></blockquote>

This is enough to warrant a digital dropkick any day. I say, if someone is going to be an arrogant online jack*ss, they should at least be an arrogant online jack*ss who can spell.

1 4m 1337 63c4u53 1 u53 num83r5 wh3n 1 5h0uld u53 ******* 13773r5.

I can kick your arse in any game, because my comp is faster than yours.
(followed by)
The only reason you won is because my comp wasn't running well.

u = t3h gh3y

/me walks off mumbling about how forced sterilizations could be useful

i like

loser user : i dont need to trouble shoot this problem im a certified abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxwz tech and i can do anything.

just send a tech out. i took a class and i am a tech god now.

SEND A TECH NOW!!!!!

me: ( drinking a pop and posting in windrivers)
huh? what was that again? lets start the trouble shooting steps.

Loser USer: i said i know what the problem is.

Me: right? do this, do that, do this and that now reboot.

Loser User: OMG you fixed it. thank you, they didnt teach me this in class.

TRUE STORY

Loser User: can you burn something for me onto CD?

Me: Sure, show me where it's located on the network.

Loser User: it's p:\123456\admin\letter.doc

Me: Is that the only file you want burned on CD? It's only a 50k Word Document. The floppy disks are over by the fax machine. This is a waste of a CD and my time.

Mac you are to kind. I would'a just hung up on their arse!

I would have, except two problems:

A) The person was standing five feet away from me
B) The person was my BOSS :rolleyes:

I still get a kick out of the people who call in...

I however take pride in screwing over someones OS and NOT being responsible.. all cause the guy was a stuck up prick.

"Your problem sir is that you are currently setup staticly, that configuraion is not supported, I am unable to help untill you comply with the EUA and setup dynamicly."

"OK, How do i setup dynamicly?"

Well sir, since your Running Windows2000 Advanced server, it's unsuported software and therefore i'm unable to help you make the configuration changes.

"The networking is the same has 2kpro.. can't you pretend it's that?"

"No, i can't"

"why not? it's the same"

"No it's not. there are some things you can't do with 2k server"

"Like what?"

"Change the comp name... Wich is a requirement of DHCP on our network"
....
...
..
.

"I just changed the comp name and it said to reboot.. See i told you it could be done. (me smilling at this)

"Uhm, my computer is hanging.. let me hard reboot....... It's still hanging.. I'll call back later."

I Always hoped he had fun reinstalling windows :D

I always liked that dilbert cartoon:

"I summon the vast powers of crtification"

*nothing happens*

"uh...that's all they taught me in the class"