Aardvarks, Space Monkies, and You
My fellow Drivers
We live in a dangerious time. With great sacrifice and loss of life we have discovered that there is soon to be an Aardvark ground offensive support by an Arial Space Monkey attack! This is most unexcellent and a total bummer.
As you may remember the Aardvarks started a covert operation to steal the left tube sock of every male in America. With our brothers and friends left with one sock, we are crippled! Along with the Aardvark sock stealing the space monkies also deployed their latest weapon of fear and distruction! Yes, I am sad to say that they have create the "Joan Star"! This terrible space station has the power to broadcast the Joan Rivers Show to an ENTIRE planet! We have no defense against this as their is an abundance of cross dressing, red-neck, racist, imbred, gay, over-weight, hamster fedished, hippies who only eat pizza crust first!
MY fellow drivers, we must band together to stop this evil that plans to take out beloved planet. We must stand against the darkness with our combined powers. We must say "NO, we will no go quitly into the night!"