who can you trust?

last night before going to bed my g/f's grandmother was babysitting our boys (3, & 1, both born in october).
she told my g/f, that the elder boy would not goto sleep, we knew that would happen..so she put him up to bed, the next door neighbors came around (14, & 8 both girls), the 14 comforted him..they left..our 3 yr old came down and the 14 yr old came back and took him up for 1/2 hour.
after she leaves our boy comes down and says to gram, <n r> pulled my boxers down, pulled her pants down.gram said that he should talk to his mother and me about this in the am...
we stress out and don't sleep well...the 14 yr old girl is our babysitter, one that they trust, and love.
next morning at breakfast we ask him how is night was and what happened.
<n r> pulled my boxers down amd her pants down, and did this (guesters and up and down motion)
{i asked} with her hands.
no with her bum.
the killer of all of this is that our 3 yr old does not know device a into slot a.
now i can't sleep, pissed off, and above all, concerned that the 14 yr old learnd that what she did was ok, because it happened to her.. her grand mother is basically the primary care person, and she does not belive our boy, does not think that granddaughter is able to do so..i can see that, i mean if someone told me that my sister/mother/g/f sexuall assalted someone i would not belive them, unless the its a kid who has NO idea about sex to begin with.
i belived my boy right from the get go, but to make me 150% sure that sometihing happened last night was, when the 14 yr old girl came over and asked our kid what happened last night his response was, not to tell anyone not even gram it was our little secret...
and she was trying to reason with us, instead of saying 'i did nothing' the response was but i love kids soooo much.. i'm sorry i just need to rant i'm the only one up right now and i just need to talk about this.

Jeez that's rough, man.

I dunno. I tried some weird stuff when I was fourteen too, it's the time of your life when you experiment to find out what's good and what's bad. Never went that far, though.

The only easy part is you gotta prevent it from happening again. How you deal with it other than that...

:(

Seems like you have to talk to the 14year olds parents and get them to get her some counselling = she has got to know that this is wrong and that she cannot get away with stuff like this. And yes, you need a new babysitter.

have tried to talk to the girls parents, they don't belive that it's happened to her, but does belive our boy...

From your description of the event, and your child's reaction to it - I would not only notify the parents, but give them advance warning that charges may follow. Not having her around the child is a definite. Don't even think of a second chance for her now.

This is sexual abuse on a child - end of story. It doesn't matter if she's female. It's still sexual assault. Whether or not she needs therapy is either for the courts or a professional to decide.

Your role is now to protect your kids and to make sure that no other victims are made. If you don't follow through with this, you'll be sending your kids the message that not only can you not garantee their safety but that this type of act being imposed on them is acceptable.

Good luck with that.

I know I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. :(

thanks for the support.
no one from the house across the street (that's where she lives) is allowed over..kinda hard liked all of the kids....but that's the way the cookie crisp crumbles......
our kid is doing alright, no nightmares, no wet beds, no sudden tampertantrums...i'm taking it worse then he is.

I would still strongly suggest you have your kids seen by a professional counsellor or therapist.

I'm glad to know that they're hadling it well.

I really don't know what I would do if I was in your shoes...

It's one of those things I don't want to think about unless I have to. My emotions just get overly active when I ponder about that. :mad: