Forgive and Forget...Forgive and Forget...etc...
Seeking some Windrivers Wisdom
This has been on my mind for a while not just because of today but..
My mother and me have had a bad relationship since I was 11 and she left me and my two year old sister for another man. She left us with our Father (thank God for that since he is a wonderful man) when she left.
Well we had many confrontations ,some at home, some at her work some outside a police station,some arguing and crying and some with fists being thrown at each other and all to no avail to her coming home.
I have never felt that my mother has been in my life when I was younger, I stayed a lot at my grandmothers house because I liked it there and my dad thought it better then being at her relatives homes. My life is a blur when I was with my mother I cant remember any of it ,I think I chose to block it all out.She made many choices that hurt us and helped her life with her husband, She chose to live her life for a man rather than for her children. I after many years forgave her and let it go.
The home me and my sister were living together in before I got married was finally by the courts rules to be sold or split. My father went to court to buy the home from her so that he could give it to us so we could live in the home ( me and my sister)
He asked her if she would sign over her half to me and he would sign his half to me so we could have the home.
She wouldnt she said she wanted her money.
I asked her to please let us have the home and not make my dad give her the money. She got all loud on the phone and said I WANT MY MONEY .
I told her I dont want anything ever to do with her. And I told her she doesnt have a daughter or a grandson dont ever contact us again.
This has been at least a year now that I havent talked to her.
My father is the one who said to me a couple weeks ago that I should forgive her. I said I did and she messed up again and hurt me.. How many times can I take this womans iggnorance and forgive.
Then I think of all that I have done and I would like forgiveness in my time of judgement and I think I should try and do the same.
Any thoughts ?