I proclaim "SPACE BALLS" the funniest movie of all time

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March 3rd, 2004, 03:08 PM
Escape_Driver

I proclaim "SPACE BALLS" the funniest movie of all time

DHelmet: Careful you idiot. I said across her nose not up it.
GUNNER: Sorry sir. Doing my best.
DHelmet: Who made that man a gunner?
MAJOR: I did sir. He's my cousin.
DHelmet: Who is he?
COLONEL S.: He's an ******* sir.
DHelmet: I know that... whats his name?
COLONEL S.: That is his name sir, *******, Major *******.
DHelmet: And his cousin?
COLONEL S.: He's an ******* too sir: Gunner's mate, first class, Phillip *******.
DHelemt: How many *******s we got on this ship anyhow?
THE CREW: YO!!!!
DHelmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by *******s(pulls facemask down) Keep firing *******s!!!

---------------------------
DHelmet: Say goodbye to your two best friends and I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago
---------------------------
March 3rd, 2004, 03:14 PM
Ya_know

Pulp fiction's got them beat!

JULES
Whoa...whoa...whoa...stop right
there. Eatin' a bitch out, and
givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't
even the same ****in' thing.

VINCENT
Not the same thing, the same
ballpark.

JULES
It ain't no ballpark either. Look
maybe your method of massage
differs from mine, but touchin' his
lady's feet, and stickin' your
tongue in her holyiest of holyies,
ain't the same ballpark, ain't the
same league, ain't even the same
****in' sport. Foot massages don't
mean ****.

VINCENT
Have you ever given a foot massage?

JULES
Don't be tellin' me about foot
massages -- I'm the ****in' foot
master.

VINCENT
Given a lot of 'em?

JULES
**** yeah. I got my technique down
man, I don't tickle or nothin'.

VINCENT
Have you ever given a guy a foot
massage?

Jules looks at him a long moment -- he's been set up.

JULES
**** you.

He starts walking down the hall. Vincent, smiling, walks a
little bit behind.

VINCENT
How many?

JULES
**** you.

VINCENT
Would you give me a foot massage --
I'm kinda tired.
March 3rd, 2004, 03:16 PM
Escape_Driver

Come on can anyone think of a movie with more great lines like that ??
March 3rd, 2004, 03:21 PM
Escape_Driver

Great movie but I just don't think it has the volume....

RICO: Colonel Sandurz.
SANDURZ: What is it, Sergeant Rico?
RICO: You told me to let you know the moment Planet Druidia was in sight, sir.
SANDURZ: So.
RICO: Planet Druidia is in sight, sir.
SANDURZ: You're really a Spaceball. You know that, don't you?
RICO: Thanks, sir.
---------------------------------------
RADAR TECH.: I'm having trouble with the radar, sir.
HELMET: What's wrong with it?
RADAR TECH.: I've lost the bleeps, I've the lost the sweeps, and I've lost the creeps.
HELMET: The what?
SANDURZ: The what?
HELMET: And the what?
RADAR TECH.: You know. The bleeps, the sweeps, and the creeps.
HELMET: That's not all he's lost.
RADAR TECH.: Sir. The radar, sir. It appears to be... jammed.
HELMET: Jammed? Raspberry. There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry. Lone Starr!
-------------------------------------
SANDURZ: Sir.
HELMET: What?
SANDURZ: Are we being too literal.
HELMET: No, you fool. We're following orders. We were told to comb the desert, so we're combing it. Found anything yet?
TROOPER WITH COMB: Nothing yet, sir.
HELMET: How about you?
TROOPER WITH 2ND COMB: Not a thing, sir.
HELMET: What about you guys?
TROOPER WITH MINI COMB: We ain't found ****.
March 3rd, 2004, 03:21 PM
cisco2

Pulp Fiction is awesome, not really comparable to Spaceballs though. Kinda that apples and oranges thing.

Spaceballs is a hoot.

"I see your Schwartz is as big as mine."
March 3rd, 2004, 03:26 PM
Major Kong

Run away

Bring out your dead.

Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
'Tis but a scratch.
A scratch?! Your arm's off.
No it isn't.
Then what's that then.
I've had worse.
Have at you!
You're indeed brave sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Oh, had enough, aye?
Look you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
Yes I have.
Look!
Just a flesh wound.
Right, I'll do you for that.
You'll what?
Come here.
What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
I'm invincible!
You're a loony.

You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!

Follow, but follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so fowl, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage, or your strength, come nay further, for death awaits you all . . . with nasty big pointy teeth!
March 3rd, 2004, 03:31 PM
Escape_Driver

Quote:

Originally Posted by Major Kong

Run away

Bring out your dead.

Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
'Tis but a scratch.
A scratch?! Your arm's off.
No it isn't.
Then what's that then.
I've had worse.
Have at you!
You're indeed brave sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Oh, had enough, aye?
Look you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
Yes I have.
Look!
Just a flesh wound.
Right, I'll do you for that.
You'll what?
Come here.
What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
I'm invincible!
You're a loony.

You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!

Follow, but follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so fowl, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage, or your strength, come nay further, for death awaits you all . . . with nasty big pointy teeth!

OH now thats a close one....OH now thats a close one....
March 3rd, 2004, 03:32 PM
edball

Quote:

Originally Posted by Major Kong

Run away

Bring out your dead.

Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
'Tis but a scratch.
A scratch?! Your arm's off.
No it isn't.
Then what's that then.
I've had worse.
Have at you!
You're indeed brave sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Oh, had enough, aye?
Look you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
Yes I have.
Look!
Just a flesh wound.
Right, I'll do you for that.
You'll what?
Come here.
What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
I'm invincible!
You're a loony.

You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!

Follow, but follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so fowl, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage, or your strength, come nay further, for death awaits you all . . . with nasty big pointy teeth!

Monty Python, now that's funny ! :grin:
March 3rd, 2004, 03:33 PM
Escape_Driver

SANDURZ: It's Mega Maid. She gone from suck to blow.
----------------------------------------
HELMET: So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.
----------------------------------------
SHIP'S VOICE: Counting down. Ten, nine, eight, six...
SKROOB: Six? What happened to seven?
SHIP'S VOICE: Just kidding.
March 3rd, 2004, 03:44 PM
cisco2

OK, now you've gone and brought up what is literally the holy grail of comedies!

"Wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! Oh, she is a naughty girl. And she must pay her penalty. And here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the Grail Shaped Beacon. You must tie her down on a bed, and spank her!"
"A spanking, a spanking!"
"You must spank her well, and after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like. And then... spank me."
"And spank me!"
"And me!"
"And me!"
"Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!"
"A spanking, a spanking, a spanking!"
"And after the spanking, the oral sex!"
"Oooh! A spanking!"
"Well, I could stay a bit longer."

"Shut up, will you. Shut up!"
"Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system."
"Shut up!"
"Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!"
"Bloody peasant!"

All I have to say is ... Ni!
March 3rd, 2004, 04:05 PM
Cleetus

I always liked Blazing Saddles more then Spaceballs.

And crap on a stick if Holy Grail isn't the most played out quoted comedy ever, good movie but crap
March 3rd, 2004, 04:08 PM
silencio

Not a movie but this is the funniest thing I've ever seen on TV.

http://www.adultswim.com/shows/space...one/index.html
March 3rd, 2004, 04:11 PM
cisco2

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cleetus

I always liked Blazing Saddles more then Spaceballs.

And crap on a stick if Holy Grail isn't the most played out quoted comedy ever, good movie but crap

The Holy Grail is the most played out quoted comedy ever because it is the most funniest! Silly Cleetus. I fart in your general direction! Now go away or I shall be forced to taunt you a second time.
March 3rd, 2004, 04:17 PM
Escape_Driver

Quote:

Originally Posted by silencio

Not a movie but this is the funniest thing I've ever seen on TV.

http://www.adultswim.com/shows/space...one/index.html

Yep space ghost Rocks.. it cracks me up
March 3rd, 2004, 04:21 PM
Camaro80z

Quote:

Originally Posted by Escape_Driver

Come on can anyone think of a movie with more great lines like that ??

Since Radical Dreamer is not here right now, I will have to say it. ANY KEVIN SMITH MOVIE (except jersey girl).

I also think kingpin is up there, but I can only think of one line (it still haunts me)

The old, nasty landlord: "What is it about good sex that makes me want to crap?" :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke:

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