Here is the real pledge of allegiance your children should be saying...
I hereby pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America...
I pledge to solemnly follow blindly as my constitutional rights are systematically taken from me.
I pledge to be a target for those who choose to discriminate against the rights of my flag.
I pledge to be an arrogant loudmouthed wanker who will control the world.
I pledge to be a victim for those I pledge allegiance to.
