I have an ethical question...

I had to added a wedding this weekend in Iowa for my cousin on my moms side of the family(Alecia). All of the family was there, including my cousin (shannon). Shannon and Alecia's mothers are sisters (my aunts). Here is where the problem started. Shannon (along with a few of the younger cousins) were staring and falling all over themselves looking at Alecia's cousin, Corey. As a joke, My uncle set it up for Shannon to dance with Corey. No one knew that Corey had been trying to find a way to hook up with Shannon, and at the end of the dance they started making out on the dance floor. Both parties were pulled aside and told to stay away. They then snuck off from the reception for a hour or so. When she came back, Shannon said they just talked. After the reception, everyone went to the hotel we were all staying at for the afterparty. Well, guess who snuck off until 6 in the morning? Yep, Shannon and Corey. While they are not related by Blood, they do share an uncle (shannon by marraige, Corey by Blood). Also, she is 19 and he is 27 with a kid and engaged. My family is pretty pissed about this, and I was wondering how you would feel about this.

My feeling is this: If a family member were to go to the wedding and be able to sit on both sides of the aisle, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG!!!!!

The wrong part is the infidelity Corey blatantly displayed to his entire family. That's what struck me as the immoral part.

Since they are not blood relatives, that might be seen as unethical, but it's hard to say.

She's a legal adult, and neither one is of any blood relation, (I presume from your explanation), then there isn't anything wrong...but the reality is most families don't want that sort of thing going on. I say let it go. They will find in a few weeks that they aren't compatible by personality anyway, and probably end it on their own. If not, then let them be happy.

I think legally blood related second cousins is as close as you can go...so, an aunt's daughters daughter (Or in short, you’re cousin’s kid) would be allowed by law into marriage with you...religiously is a whole different realm, I wont even pretend to know where the boundaries are there...

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Originally Posted by a d e p t

The wrong part is the infidelity Corey blatantly displayed to his entire family. That's what struck me as the immoral part.

Since they are not blood relatives, that might be seen as unethical, but it's hard to say.

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I agree. I also think the disrespect they both showed by not listening to their parents and uncles when there were told to leave it alone.

As to the infidelity, I guess Corey said he had broken it off, but the family thought he was just using a line to hook up with shannon.

The problem I had was the same one I think a d e p t had. The guy had a fiance and a kid on the way. That makes him a douche bag.

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Originally Posted by Camaro80z

I had to added a wedding this weekend in Iowa for my cousin on my moms side of the family(Alecia). All of the family was there, including my cousin (shannon). Shannon and Alecia's mothers are sisters (my aunts). Here is where the problem started. Shannon (along with a few of the younger cousins) were staring and falling all over themselves looking at Alecia's cousin, Corey. As a joke, My uncle set it up for Shannon to dance with Corey. No one knew that Corey had been trying to find a way to hook up with Shannon, and at the end of the dance they started making out on the dance floor. Both parties were pulled aside and told to stay away. They then snuck off from the reception for a hour or so. When she came back, Shannon said they just talked. After the reception, everyone went to the hotel we were all staying at for the afterparty. Well, guess who snuck off until 6 in the morning? Yep, Shannon and Corey. While they are not related by Blood, they do share an uncle (shannon by marraige, Corey by Blood). Also, she is 19 and he is 27 with a kid and engaged. My family is pretty pissed about this, and I was wondering how you would feel about this.

My feeling is this: If a family member were to go to the wedding and be able to sit on both sides of the aisle, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG!!!!!

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(1) They are both adults and they are attracted to each other and there is no genetic problem as they are not related..
(2) The age makes NO difference
(3) It is none of your or the family's business what to grown adults do..
(4) I would think his fiance should be told about this.
(5) The fact that she should have known better than to fool around with a man who is engaged shows she is selfish and self centered. Any thing you or the family says or does will not effect her in any way..

My $0.02

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Originally Posted by Camaro80z

I agree. I also think the disrespect they both showed by not listening to their parents and uncles when there were told to leave it alone.

As to the infidelity, I guess Corey said he had broken it off, but the family thought he was just using a line to hook up with shannon.

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Which makes him a scumbag who doesn't respect Shannon, his fiancée, his family and possibly even his son.

I voted no, but I must add since they are not blood related I do not see a problem. Before anyone accuses me of having no limbs in my family tree let me explain. What your describing is fairly common place in rural/lightly populated areas of the country. As I've mentioned before both my Dad and Mom's family are from extremely rural areas of Appalachia. If anyone is familiar with the term "double first cousins" my family has several.

My main concern would be this "Also, she is 19 and he is 27 with a kid and engaged." That would be what I would worried about.

Shannon should think about what will happen when Corey is 37 and she is 29... Is he going to "break it off" with her for a younger woman? (Of course, I don't know how old his fiance is, so my arguement could be flawed.)

I didn't know I had family in Iowa

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Originally Posted by Major Kong

I voted no, but I must add since they are not blood related I do not see a problem. Before anyone accuses me of having no limbs in my family tree let me explain. What your describing is fairly common place in rural/lightly populated areas of the country. As I've mentioned before both my Dad and Mom's family are from extremely rural areas of Appalachia. If anyone is familiar with the term "double first cousins" my family has several.

My main concern would be this "Also, she is 19 and he is 27 with a kid and engaged." That would be what I would worried about.

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I can understand that, but we live in the 14th biggest market in the country (Minneapolis/ St. Paul). There are over 1 million people in the cities, and he has to go after the one with a similar uncle!

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Originally Posted by meatwad

The problem I had was the same one I think a d e p t had. The guy had a fiance and a kid on the way. That makes him a douche bag.

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I agree.

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Originally Posted by a d e p t

Which makes him a scumbag who doesn't respect Shannon, his fiancée, his family and possibly even his son.

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But the uncle who hooked them up to start dancing is the turd that should get some of the blame. He's the one that should be held responsible for starting this whole thing as a joke, who knows what he said to get the ball rolling there.

And as far as infidelity goes, that's crap. If the guy wanted to be with his fiancé he wouldn't be screwing around. He's a turd too, but no less than the other 80% of the people out there that do it.

They are not related. They should have respected the fact that some people in their family find it to be a problem. Been a little more discreet.

If the parents get divorced, do they stop being cousins? Cousins by marriage usually guarantees the girl a ride back home.https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif

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Originally Posted by Ya_know

...but no less than the other 80% of the people out there that do it.

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You just pull that out of your nether regions, or you have statistical backing? https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif


That uncle must feel pretty good about his little "idea" today. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif