Joke time

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my d*ck," he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of others, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't p*ss out of it," the man replied.






Keep em coming!

Why Don't Cannibals Eat Clowns?
Because They Taste Funny!

:grin:

Did you hear about the green bean that got hit by a car?
the good news is that he'll live,
but he'll be a vegetable forever!


:grin::grin:

An Irishman walked into a bar in Dublin. He ordered three pints of
Guinness, sat in the back of the room, and drank a sip out of each one
in turn. When he finished them, he came back to the bar and ordered
three more.

The bartender asked him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it. It
would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replied, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in
America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all
left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days
when we drank together."

The bartender admitted that this was a nice custom, and left it there.

The Irishman became a regular in the bar, and always drank the same way.
One day, he came in and ordered two pints. All the other regulars
noticed and fell silent.

When he came back to the bar for the second round, the bartender said,
"I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I want to offer my
condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looked confused for a moment, then a light dawned in his
eye and he laughed. "Oh, no, everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."

If at first you dont succeed,skydiving's not for you.

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment,
it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which
almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey",
died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family
was getting him into the coffin.

They put his left leg in.... and then the trouble started.

I decided that I needed a few days off. As I was out of leave time already I figured the best way to get the Boss to send me home was to act a little crazy. I figured he'd think I was burning out and give me some time off.

I came in to work early the other day and began hanging upside down from the ceiling. Just then one of my co-workers (she's blonde..it'll be important later) came in and asked me what I was doing.

"Shh," I said, "I'm acting crazy to get a few days off. I'm a light bulb."

A second later the Boss walked by and asked me what I was doing.

"I'm a light bulb!" I exclaimed.

"You're going crazy," he said. "Take a few days off."

With that, I jumped down and started walking out.

My co-worker (the blonde) started following me and the Boss asked her where she was going.

"I can't work in the dark!" she said.


John