The WOTPP's Tale !

Suddenly the new narrator was blinded by a brilliantly blinding flash of brilliantly bright light....

Chi-Ken was back with the cyber whaling dory.

http://www.fukuoka-now.com/features/...8_dode_001.jpg

He leered over the gunnel at Petronella. "Anno.... chotto... Boku wa hashi ga jozu yo! Pretty rady go for ride?"

He pulled the paper wrapper off a set of rough wooden chopsticks.

Petronella stared transfixed by Chi-Ken's display of Zen and the art of chopstick manipulation. First there was eating gohan from an empty bowl. Then there was the sound of one chopstick clapping. Then there was the folding of the chop stick wrapper into cranes, frogs, and small paper men who when you pulled their paper legs developed bulges in the front of their paper trousers.

Without knowing what she was saying or why she was saying it, she heard her voice, "Sensei... daisukii....."

She found herself irresistibly drawn towards the cyber-whaling dory, her eyes gleaming with excitement.

Chi-Ken helped her over the gunnel.

Moby suddenly dived for his snub-nosed 38 which had fallen to the sidewalk when Mr. P had hit him in the head with the vegemite Frisbee.

Chi-ken smirked inscrutably. "Bakka! Big whale so stupid. Never rearn. You gonna end up as sashimi real soon, big boy!"

Moby's eyes gaped in disbelief as the 38 in his flipper melted into a rotting sardine.

There was another flash of light, and Chi-ken, Petronella, the chopsticks, and the cyber whaling dory were gone.

Ahab slumped like a wilted shiso leaf. A small tear escaped the corner of his eye. Then he regained his composure. "That bitch!" He thought. "There'll be no more Sailor Moon costume....."

Out of deepest gloom of the trash-strewn alley, there was the faint sound of monotreme laughter. (Right click. Save as)

Moby turned towards the darkness squinting, his head still throbbing with depth charges from the vegemite blow. "Who's there?" He shouted.

The group all turned to face the alley. They were not ready for the horror from the shadows. The pale yellowy glow from the street light glistened dimly on a pair of beady little amphibious eyes.

Everyone except the Squid gasped. There was something about those eyes that made him think of Dr. Bruce, and besides, he didn't have lungs.

Suddenly Daisy let out a blood-curdling scream. Moby felt weak in his caudal fluke. Ahab was convinced his peg leg was being eaten by shipworms.

A foreboding shape was forming out of the darkness and gloom as if all the atavistic fears of the collective unconscious were coalescing into an all too concrete distillation of pure evil. The time of the beast from down under was at hand...... Ahab looked at his King Kalamar utility watch -- the display was flashing 999! The beady little eyes moved slowly closer.

Tommy wet his kilt. Daisy screamed again and again as if all the springs and gears of rationality had exploded apart......

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http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg

It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!

Bah, with all of this yammer in the way how is a fellow supposed to get a decent post pad in here anyway?

Looks like you just did. :grin:

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http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg

It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!

If that one didn't meet with _Ed's approvial, I don't know what would. :)

... however, sneered Petronella, Moby didn't know I wear a bullet proof vest.

She looked in disdain at the unruly crew, oh manners, as grandma, used to say, and pianos and chairs, all belonged to the man upstairs.

Petronella looked into the mass of 5,000 plus faces that had passed this way, or was it one man who visited 4,999 times plus the odd woman, and she wondered whether her quest to find Mr Beautiful was doomed?

So she started looking at the Ladies ...

Petronella suddenly realized that she had shifted into some sort of spatial/temporal fugue state. She had left in the cyber whaling dory with Zen chopstick master Chi-Ken, and yet here she was still at the scene of the crime.

She wondered, "How can I be in two places at once when I'm not really anywhere at all? Maybe I should have paid more attention in my Post Modern Lit/Cultural Studies classes, but then ... probably not... Maybe the narrator has been confused by the series of post paddings that have interrupted the narrative flow... Who knows? Who cares?"

In one reality she was with her heart-throb chopstick master. In the other she was stuck here with this bunch of misfit losers. "And why," she thought, "has everyone suddenly lost interest in the ever increasing menace of the beady borg eyes?"

<The sound track suddenly swelled ominously. "DUN DUH DUN DUH Auhhh auh Auhhh auh.">

And the beady little eyes inched closer and closer out of the gloom....


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http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg

It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!

<The sound track suddenly swelled ominously. "DUN DUH DUN DUH Auhhh auh Auhhh auh.">

And the beady little eyes inched closer and closer out of the gloom....

Steven Speilburg said"How did Kermit The Frog get in this production"?

http://muppets.go.com/main.html

Petronella shouted back from wherever she had gone, 'Yes I do feel like a bit of a Muppet, as I missed this (may I quote?) - Moby's eyes gaped in disbelief as the 38 in his flipper melted into a rotting sardine' - I thought I'd been killed?'

'Indeed', she said, 'I don't know where I am.....'

..and wondered back to ...

...where she thought she was.

The moonlight was fine this evening she thought out loud
as she leaned against a tree

for a relaxing support..But,wait! This thing was moving too much

to be a tree.Screaming she thrashed trying to get..............

... the spider web out of her hair. <Eek!>

"Improbability factor 100%. We are re-entering the normal space-time continuum, whatever that might be. All further delusions and dysfunctions are your own affair now."

The Heart of Gold materialized briefly above the rather crowded empty alley, just long enough for Zephod to stick both heads out of a porthole, look down and groan, "Bugger all! We've missed it again!" Then, the dazzling ship disappeared from sight, again.

"For some reason," El Squid thought to himself, "I would really like a PanGalactic GargleBlaster, whatever that is."

"So would I," Moby agreed, licking the sardine paste from his flipper. "Maybe a couple of them."

"The whale is a functional empath!" El Squid realized, then realized that the psychic whale could "hear" his realization, just as he realized it himself.

"What?" Moby groaned, clutching his aching head in his flippers, "Stop that, you tentacled terror of illogic. You're giving me a headache!"

But, back to the beady eyes....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by El_Squid

But, back to the beady eyes....

---

...of Cecilia, the Headmistress. 'I have seen neither Tommy or Daisy in school recently? And I really would like them back, because schooling is so essential, especially to help you know where you are and where you are not and where you may like to be. I'll have to send someone out to look for them, for the empty chairs are gathering dust and the cleaner's on strike. We had the same problem with Petronella many years ago and look what a tart she's turned out to be'

Cecilia turned her attentions then to ....

... Brutus Magnumopus, the Truant Officer, who had been waiting patiently all this time. He scratched the back of his hand, dragging the thick, yellowish nails of his fat, sausage-like fingers through dense, coarse hair. The beetle-browed Brutus breathed a sigh of satisfaction, as he scratched his hirsute hand, wondering why this wooden woman had summoned him.

Cecilia looked at the hulking knuckle-dragger, wondering if he had the intellectual acumen necessary to locate his own buttocks, using both hands and an anatomical chart. But, no matter, he would have to do. The children had been missing for far too long, which was an intolerable lapse in proper behavior and irresponsibly carefree, as well.

"Come, Mister Magnumopus!" she commanded the lantern-jawed lug, "Follow me to my office! You have work to do."

And they both sauntered off, most uncasually.

...but, as they walked towards Cecilia's office, they bumped into Petronella, who was wandering around as lost as ever, not knowing if she was supposed to be there or with Moby .. anyway, she cried out in utter, utter delight, 'oh it's HIIM, it's HIM, it's that gorgeous man who handled his Chopsticks so beautifully, my heart sings, it flutters, I stutter, it is darling Brutus Magnumopus! How can I persuade him away from her office and such mundane tasks as hunting for two kids? I mean, if they turn out like me, they will be .............'

"... free spirits? Bah! More like scoundrels, ne'er do wells!" the Headmistress snorted in disgust. "I tell you, Mister Magnumopus, Daisy and Tommy are no better than that little wench,... Petronella?" Cecilia turned her head, to look at Brutus in the eye, and caught sight of the bemused Petronella. "How are you, dear?" she hastened to ask, in a effort to dissimulate her gaffe.

Brutus Magnumopus followed Cecilia's gaze and was pleased to discover the lovely Petronellla standing less than ten feet from him. A silly grin spread across his Neanderthalic visage as he recollected the memorable evening he spent with her. He could still taste the wonderful food!

Petronella espied the twinkle in his piggy little eyes, nestled deep beneath jutting eyebrow ridges, and mistook it to be due to her and not some gastric nostalgia. But then, how could she have known Brutus was just another pretty boy homonid, as shallow as the finger's width of his furrowed forehead.

"I remember you!" the truant officer grunted. "You are the lady from ...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by El_Squid

"I remember you!" the truant officer grunted. "You are the lady from ...

---

...my training days, you were a young slip of a girl then. I can remember my trainer showing me how to get slippery young things like you back to school. I remember the comments you used to pass. I seem to remember you wore glasses in those days, have you changed to contact lenses or .. I mean, are you sure I was the man in the Restaurant?'