Meanwhile, in a dark corner of the Well, Hello There, Sailor!, a somewhat inebriated calamari blubbered over a half-eaten blob of Bread Pudding, "I just Love this stuff!" :cool:
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Meanwhile, in a dark corner of the Well, Hello There, Sailor!, a somewhat inebriated calamari blubbered over a half-eaten blob of Bread Pudding, "I just Love this stuff!" :cool:
Meanwhile, back at the beach, Scungeon, Cap'n Ahab and Padre Pepe happily cooked a mess of fish over a largish camp fire. A jug of banana wine was being passed around and the merry trio broke out into song, "Can you show the way to go home..." An ominous sound track started up in the back ground, as a ginormous dorsal fin broke the surface of the still malodorous sea and headed towards them. :eek:
"Lord Love a Duck" shouted the Padre!
"Thar She Blows" screamed Cap'n Ahab!
"The Pan's Not Big Enough" commented Scungeon.
The doral fin descended, never to appear for at least 12 postings.
The merry trio began once again to devour the offerings of the sea (so to speak).
BUT THEN!!!!! TA DAAAAAA@!!!
Over the farthest dune appeared the 7 Damesls of destiney!
'Matilda, who was an ardent Folk Dance practiser, little Daisy, who lived in a slime covered hut, harrassed looking Sophie, whose departed mother was called Daphne, Daphne's spirit, that still haunted her old slime covered hut, the Petronella twins, fitted by Dr. Bruce with cyborg gills and webbed toes, and last, Marie, the scrivener.'
They approached the gustatorially-gifted threesome, and with one voice proclaimed......................
proclaimed... "Well, hello there, Sailors!"
"Madre de Dios!" exclaimed Padre Pepe, jumping up to his feet.
"Arrhh!" growled Ahab, then, "Arrggh!" as he noticed his now smoldering peg leg had gotten too close to the cook fire.
"Pfft...," Scungeon spewed fish bits, in a classic spit-take, when he espied the 7 lovely Damsels of Destiny.
Daphne peeked out from a window of the slime-covered hut and recognized none of the flustered fish-eaters. "Whoooo arrrre yoooou?" she asked in a spooky, spectral-like voice.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........................ ................ :)
Chi Ken, Mr. P. and Madame Butterfly emerged from the dimly lit entrails of the 'Hello There, Sailor!' and looked for the source of the ' Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........................ '.
Espying the Damsels and the leering threesome and the now cavorting Mags, they made haste to join the fish-fry and general madness!
Approaching the now crowded cooking area, Chi Ken said ".........
"Got room for another three?" He stepped aside to reveal the keg they had dragged along with them and added, "We have beer!"
Padre Pepe, the ebullient man of the cloth, stood up, somewhat wobbly-legged, and laughed, "Claro que si! Of coursh, me amigo, thersh alwaysh room for more!" And promptly flopped down on his rump, much to the delight of his companions.
Upon the horizon, outlined on the seashore by the brilliant blue sky against the aquamarine of the gently rolling sea, appeared the tri-sail of an island schooner.
These were known to be peopled by pirates, but were also popular with eco-tourists that wanted a taste of WOTPP type planets without the unsightly teleporting sickness.
In any event, the sails were seen, the ship was nigh, and the first person to have seen it was Mags, the shoreline frolicker.
With her usual complaceny she pointed and shrieked "What the hell's that?"
Padre Pepe fell over and snored.
Ahab, however, not unaccustomed to dangerous dealings, answered ".........
... "Belay that frolicking, mates! Thar's a storm a'coming and we need to batten down our hatches!"
The rest of the Tipsy Fish Fryers stared at Ahab, goggle-eyed, struggling to comprehend his authentic Sea-Faring Gibberish. Ahab, noticing the fiesh-eyed balnk stares he was getting, realized he was amid a pack of land-loving, land lubbers and his work was cut out for him.
He cleared his throat and said, "Pay attention! A ship approaches and it could be trouble."
"Ahh!" they sighed collectively and proceeded to arm themselves with an odd assortment of weaponry, much of which had been hidden among the pleats and folds of the ladies' garments. :eek:
The ragged, storm-tossed ship sailed into plain view, revealing it's identity, The Dark Chocolate Pearl. Legendary pirate ship, commanded by none other than Cap'n Jocko McDepp, scourge of the cheap dives and bar rooms of Testudo, the Dark Chocolate Pearl was rumored to have a creamy nougat filling no living man had ever seen.
"what arrr you doin'?" bellowed Cap'n Jocko at the Fish Frying Frolickers on the beach...
Hey Mags,I been gone a while glad to see your thread still running here.:wave:
Can anyone remember exactly what's happened so far? :knife:
Must be a book in here for someone...lol
Pssssssssssssssst................. yes, the book is now available on Amazon !
The foredeck (and mid and aft and upper and lower, if the truth be told) of the Dark Chocolate Pearl was awash with heavilly armed and leering pirates, all ready to hit the surf, ravage the locals, and drink in the local (the Hello There Sailor).
The Vessel of Viciousness was mere yards from the dock when a flurry of tentacular arms siezed it bow to stern, port to starboard, and began drawing it backwards towards the deep part of the nearby waters called 'Cephalopod Centre'.
The myriad of piratical types hacked, slashed, swore, stabbed, cursed, cried and tried to leap clear, but to no avail.
The dastardly crew was drawn, man and pilgrim, into the deeps.
One sole survivor clung to a barrel half-filled with imported rum, and kick-paddled to shore.
Emerging unarmed from the surf, Jocko said to Ahab .............
"Well that was totally unexpected!" then added, "Permission to come ashore, Cap'n!"
"Arrh, permission granted," Ahab growled with an authentic, barnacley accent, "And, bring that cask o' spirits wit' ye, lad!"
Ahab and the cask-toting Jocko joined the rest of the still goggle-eyed revelers by the fire pit. The rum sloshed deliciously, as the cask thudded into the soft sand, which prompted a veritable cornucopia of tropical fruit to appear from pockets and purses of the revelers. Limes, coconuts, mangoes, lemons, pineapples and so forth, piled into a heap next to the cask.
Jocko, having completely forgotten about his ill-starred mates, looked around and asked, "So, does anyone have a favorite drink?"
The reply was ...
The reply was ..."Shut up and pour!"
And with that, they set about draining the keg plus 3 of grog and ale brought from the Hello There Sailors' cavernous storage (indeed, it was a cavern cut deep into the cliffs along the shoreline).
Much laughter and tales of derring and dopy do were tossed about.
As night fell, the first stars shone upon the totally inebriated gathering, and shadowy, shambling shapes shifted steathily toward them from the, er, shadows.
Hearing a scuffle of footsteps, Ahab opened a bleary eye and saw.........
and saw.. Moby slurking down through the inky darkness (foreshadowing here, eh?) to the end of wharf that adjoined the backside (irony) of Hello There Sailor's warehouse, which was built on piles (bad pun), by the way. Suddenly there was a roiling of water and a lot of excited clicking (requires Quicktime) sounding as if a large number of 78 RPM gramophones had been left going with the needles in the run-out groove.
An evil smirk seemed to flicker momentarily across Moby's face as a cloud-dappled shaft of moonlight fought to break through the bleak overcast sky of the dark and stormy night. And then in an instant, he was off the end of the wharf and into the teaming, turbulent water of the foetid harbour.
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/image..._whale-spl.jpg
BBC: Bwa Ha Ha Ha!
There was a sudden flash of lightening, and then followed the resounding peals of thunder like the laughter of some evil, malevolent god.
He didn't know it, yet, but the Squid was in trouble, big trouble.
____________________________________________
http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
....for young Daisy, who hasn't been seen for quite a while, toddled along and shouted at the Squid, 'do you realise this load of twaddle has been going on and on and on and on for over four years?! And the Women of the Prehistoric Planet seem to have disappeared and the whole place has been overrun by those creatures...... called MEN !! WHAT ARE you going to do about it, Squid ?'
Daisy sits back in a comfortable deckchair, with an icecream topped with a cherry, to watch developments....
"Zounds!" exclaimed the startled cephalopod, ignoring the Whale song which echoed eerily in the background. "Where have you been hiding, young Daisy?"
The Tentacled Terror From The Deep felt immensely relieved and pleasantly surprised at the reappearance of one of the Prehistoric Women. As much as the lads had been trying to carry on in their absence, the Prehistoric Women were the Heart and Soul of the whole thread afteall. That, plus the icecream looked very, very tasty.
[All nonsense aside, how are you, Mags? I am hoping life has been good to you and the roads you have travelled have been level and smooth.] :wave:
The Squid, having been stupefied by the clicking chaos, forgot the Szechuan minced squid episode, and fixated on the ice cream, he stared.
Suddenly Daisy was distracted by the appearance of Ahab in the doorway of the Hello There Sailor warehouse. It all rushed back to her, the sailor moon costume, the rubber sheets, the handcuffs, the peg leg. She stared. Ahab stared, his heart suddenly caught in his throat.
The Squid stared but not for long. Slyly, surreptitiously, silently, suddenly, savagely, he plucked Daisy's cherry, from her ice cream.
Meanwhile, heeding the newly posted notice, two small terriers and a single bone, perhaps a bovine femur, exited stage left. Arf adieu.
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/...47_468x478.jpg
____________________________________________
http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
Daisy screamed ..... 'where has my cherry gone? I can't enjoy my icecream without the cherry' .... and dashed off in hot pursuit of El Squid .... who with a gleam in his clammy eye ......
(Mags is not so well,
Dr put her on highly
addictive prescription
drug 10 years ago
and she's been trying
to get off it, but Dr
reduced it by too great
a cut, so Mags mind
and emotions have been
all over the shoot ...and
far from being out of the
wood yet .....)
A glaringly loud, amplified don't ya know, shout of "CUT!" brought all activities to a halt.
Glancing up, back, around, down and under (depends on the cast member), they espied Spielberg and his gofer treading through the sand.
"This isn't going the way I want it", said the Daunting Director.
"I am going to do some editting and possible recasting. For now, all you men just hit the trailers."
With that, and with all dispatch, Chi Ken, Mr. P.(Pestilent Cyborg Platypus of Doom or the Platyborgpus), Ahab, Padre Pepe (the Saint of the Salt), Wee Tommy all grown up and Wee Tommy the original, Cap'n Jocko McDepp, Scungeon Foulpester, the dwarves Happy, Doc, Bashful, Dopey, Grumpy and Sleepy, Moby Dick, Sukie the Squid from the wilds of Oklahoma, the Vicar of Middle of the Widdle, a skeletal apparition (played by a REALLY thin actor named Greeves), Bodacious Bob Bob DeLaRue another Bob named Flangebanger, the wicked Dirk twins, Grandpa Tennison and his sometimes diminuative nephew, the Chief Inspector of Police Santa, Dan the Donkey, Larry the Lamb, Rudolf the Rednosed Reindeer, Angel McGuffin aka Loki, Robert Herrick, Carlos, Andrew, Mr. Simeon Sperm Whale, the Jester named WangMing along with PING,PANG,and PONG, Bumpus the necrophylic dog, the chappie who guessed peoples' weights, jitBob the Master Sargent - WOTPP, General Anasth and his detached military unit, Desmond of the WOTPP Hotline crowd, Colinamatus the run-over electrician, an odd little electrician man called Steven and a thrown-in guy called Stephen, electricians RonaldHectoritis and DaveHectoritis, Geraint the Plumber who was also Dr. Frankenfurter, Omar, the Tent Maker, Aesclepios the Clothing Designer, Szerenko the Mad Stylist, Houseisland, Street1 and El Squid in a post 339 walk-on, Australopithecene, a wandering minstrel, and a few oddball magic-mushroom-induced characters from all posts before 330.
Needless to say, the porta-potties took a kicking!
"All right - here's the deal!" shouted Spielberg, despite using the loud hailer.
"WOTPP regain control and we see how many are still actually available."
From various directions, the ladies of the PP started to gather.
Daisy of course was still stage center, but here comes Madame Butterfly, followed by........
...followed by... Daphne in her bright orange tutu ... giving everyone a wave and saying ....
<Totally out of character> Mags! :) So good to read from you again! I hope life has been kind to you and fortune smiles upon you! :thumbs:
<Resuming dark sarcastic persona> :redeyes:
+1
"Oh, dear, how did it all trun out so stranj? Were all the script riters drunkin boors and fuuls?"Quote:
Originally Posted by Mags
"No, love," said Ahab as he industriously polished the knob of his new peg leg, "I fear 'twas more grim by far. They were computer geeks, you see, and keeping that lot on track is far worse than herding cats."
"Fie!", declared Daphne, "This thread has left me entirely unsatisfied! For all of the Inspector's electric torch, Wee Tommy tossing his caber, and you with your wooden leg thrust rudely into my quarters, I swear I've never had a moment's joy!"
"Aye, lass," replied Ahab, "that's the way o' the world now, innit? Don't fret. Nothing like a puff or two of the pipe to brighten the day. Try a bit of my special blend. That's a brave girl. Just a bit of good Virginie baccy, some fine Moroccan hemp, and a bit of free-based coca leaf extract."
"GLORPH!!" exclaimed Daphne expelling a lungfull of smoke, "bishtar guelph...
As time marches on, so too does our continueing story. Alas all is not as well as it seems in the land, because as time marches on so has that great protector of the weak, Lord...
Ahah, looks like this story is now over .... it was good while it lasted ... it is now nearly a year since anyone saw any life on the Planet .... perhaps they are all now extinct....? And no conservation society would ever want to rescue such a motley crew......
Adieu.....
Mags, it's very nice to see you drop by, it does look like the tale has reached its tail...
Hold up there pardner! I am nowhere near ready to throw in the towel. I'm still working on the scene where Daphne and Ahab (with the help of his special blend) find true love, or at least have great sex! I just seem to have a bit of an issue bringing it into compliance with Forum Rules and the laws of several nations.
I'm nowhere near ready to throw in the towel, and I sneer in the general direction of the maternal grandmothers of all you quitters! See if I'm not back here in a year! Ha!
Hi, Mags!