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"The Automator"
wants EVERYTHING to happen at midnite with just one click. backup office database...download email...download newsgroups...send 500 faxes...download virus updates...check for Windows updates...turn down temp in office...turn off lites...send updates to website...send office data to accountant. all over a 56k dialup. only softare he has is Quicken and Works 4.5.
Unfortunately this person has no trouble remembering how to get to WD chat... :DQuote:
Originally posted by NooNoo
"Unteachable"
You go through the clicks that the person has to do to say print a document 10 times in a row, the last 9 of which the person has been clicking exactly where they were told. You then say " Now you do it on your own" and they answer "So what do I click first again?"
The Administrator
The guy that has 2K installed on his system and uses the Administrator Account as his ONLY logon.
errm...I have 2k...and I only use the administrator login. I could see problems on work computers, but how would it hurt on home pc's?
Its always been my experience that keeping the Administrator uncluttered and clear makes tweaking and repairing a lot easier on 2k systems. Never been a fan of using the Admin account as my user account.
*** The Mad Clicker ***
This is the user whom was born without the advanced hand-eye coordination required to execute the complicated neurological reflex response of single vs. double-clicking mouse buttons, as well as being deficient in the advanced computing concept of left/right mouse button. ( So, I have to click this button with my LEFT hand and this one with my RIGHT hand?)
Instead, their responses vary from trying to repeatedly single-click an applicaton shortcut to run the program,( often mistakingly grabbing the shortcut icon and dragging it all around the screen eventually over the mysterious "recycle bin / black hole" where the shortcut mysteriously vanishes), to the often tourets-syndrome like "machine gun click" in which their finger hammers out a rapid fire staccato on the mouse button, presumably hoping to peck it into submission and print their Word document faster. ( Why do I keep getting a Spool32 error?)
Often "Mad Clickers" can be categorized into a sub-classification,
***The "Whack-a-mole"-ers.***
These users have never developed the patience or ability to read the contents of a dialog box before pouncing on the "Ok" or "I Agree" or "Next" button like a carnival attendee playing "Whack-a-mole", trying to get through as many install screens or dialog boxes like there is a time limit or prize at the end for those who do it the fastest. ( I dont know how WeatherBug keeps getting installed, I just click the boxes that come up...)
Keep em coming!
The NoPassword user can again be sub-divided:
1) The user who remembers their password but rings up tech support when they type it in complaining that their keyboard is broken cos all they get are little dots ...
2) The user who changed their password yesterday ... and has already forgotten it
3) The user who types in their password with the CAPS LOCK ON
4) The user who calls tech support and says "but I never USED to have to put in a password ........ did I?"
5) The user who says "Password? What password?"
6) The user who calls tech support, then shouts across the room "Those IT guys fu**ed up me password again!"
Etc etc etc ... we all know (and love) them!
The Nit-Picker:
The person who calls to complain that the keyboard "wobbles" a little or the mouse "sticks" a little bit - and needs it fixed NOW. (Other symptoms include a dirty monitor, wants to move computer onto desk/floor)
The Time-Traveller:
Calls up that their printer is broken and their computer is crashing and all-hell is breaking loose and they need you NOW because no one can get any work done whatsoever!!! Then you ask how long this has been going on and they tell you "oh, a few weeks/months/decades now..."
7) You take time out to find the users password and get the response:
a) Oh ! that password
b) No Thats drfinatly not my password
c) So can I call you again if I lose it ?
d) Write it on a slip of paper left in a drawer,front of the monitor,back of their hand so as not to lose it.
The Adventurer:
While you are talking the Adventurer through a particular series of clicks s/he siezes on a window that s/he has never seen before and proceeds to click on all the options that s/he has not been asked to do. When the computer then crashes or the Adventurer can no longer find the original icon/button you asked the Adventurer to click on and you tut, sigh or make other "oh dear" type remarks the Adventurer then verbally attacks you while explaining s/he was only having a look at what the other stuff was.
The likelihood of getting through more that 10 clicks as requested by the technician in one go without the Adventurer "wandering off" is in the range of you winning the lottery.
when i am asked to login all i type is password and i'm in....
usually one of the higher ups
(password can vary betwwen, 123456, 123456789,abcdefg.....)
the company waster....
remember yesterday when you fixed my work computer....you well you messed up my hotmail account so i can't get it.
or.
i have this program at home install it please...(the program is an illeagle version on office xp)
Mr. non-obvious
my computer is not working: turn your computer on...
The Complete Moron/Office Idiot
(Phone Support)
Tech: Can you trace the cable for me and see where it plugs into the hub?
Customer: I don't know what the hub looks like...
Tech: No problem, I can describe it for you when you find the other end of the cable.
Customer: It plugs into a box.
Tech: Ok, which port on the box does it plug into? They should be numbered.
Customer: It plugs into the computer.
Tech: I know, we need to find the other end.
Customer: The other end plugs into a computer.... I think.
Tech (we setup the network and know there are no crossover cables and there is a hub): Ok, that is probably the hub, is it a small box that says 3com? It should have several identical cables with ends that look like oversized phone jacks plugged in.
Customer: No, I think it is a computer.
Tech: Can you describe the "computer" to me.
Customer: No, I don't know what a computer looks like, I just work with one.
Tech (choking back simultaneous laughter and sobbing): Never mind, we will schedule a site call for you.
Or:
Customer: I can't get on the internet! I'm getting a "no Signal" error!
Tech (looking at customer's PC on the bench in the shop): That's your monitor, you brought your PC in for service yesterday.
Customer: Oh, you mean I need that piece to get on the internet?
The Detailer/Black Hole of Support Calls:
Tech: Please click on Start -> Progra...
Customer (interrupts and starts reading): Ok, I see Turn off Computer, Log Off, Run, Help and Support, Search...
Tech (not wanting to be rude butinterrupting because of time limitations): I will let you know what to click just...
Customer (oblivious to outside influence): Settings, Documents, Programs, Windows Catalog, Windows Update, Open Office Document, New Office Document... what did you want me to do?
Ah, the joys of IT!
Sometimes I feel like I'm in the movie Clerks. You would be shocked at the number of people who come into the shop and ask if we sell Cigarettes or Lottery Tickets. I AM NOT KIDDING!!! :mad:
The lugger
Me: "Bring it into the shop"
Lugger: "Sure"
A day later, they arrive with base unit, monitor, keyboard, mouse, speakers, printer, scanner, modem, plugboard... occassionally desk and chair too.
The late night caller
Users who call in the middle of the night to have a problem fixed because they have a report, school work, some lame excuse, etc... that's due tomorrow and can't get the PC to work.
I've only had this happen once and I was ready to kill the guy after discovering that yes he had saved his work and all the computer needed was a reboot to fix.:flame: