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June 18th, 2002, 01:44 PM
12KB

Found on a roll of stickers, ment to be put on telco switching equipment, "This space intentionally left blank".

Used to put that sticker on my forehead during inventory. No one got the joke.... :rolleyes:
June 19th, 2002, 06:57 AM
EvilCabbage

Hrmm.. one of the best signs I have seen, was in a little shop in York, in England.. it read:

"Antiques, New & Old"

Another shop window in the same street read:

"Antiques, made to order"

Im sure its one of those things thats going to stay with me for a long, long time..
June 19th, 2002, 07:02 AM
NooNoo

On an advertising board in Ireland for a bed and breakfast: German spoken here (in english...)

On an advertising board outside a house: Oven ready tame rabbits <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />
June 19th, 2002, 07:17 AM
MacGyver

On a bottle of maple syrup:

"Bottle may break if dropped"

What a mess that would be!
June 19th, 2002, 01:15 PM
Drone2903

On cold medecine bottle for toddlers :
0 - 6 month = 10ml
6 - 12 month = 15ml
12 - 24 month = 15ml 2x day

Warning: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. DO NOT DRIVE OR OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY. DO NOT MIX WIHT ALCHOOL.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />
Thank God my 2y old baby has'nt found my keys and my beer yet!
:D
June 24th, 2002, 03:36 AM
Scuba Steve

Inside the breakroom at my work is a poster saying "Learn to Read" offering free help to improve literacy.

(We don't get many questions on that one. Wonder why?) :D

The phone number for "Hooked on Phonics" is 1-800-ABCDEFG. :rolleyes:
June 24th, 2002, 03:51 AM
Scuba Steve

I forgot my favorites! :D

Triamenic Children's Cold medicine: "Do not use if pregnant or nursing without consulting your physician"

(Mom's are getting younger and younger these days...... Sad :( )

I read about a drug for social anxiety disorder.

"Are you the wallflower at gatherings? Do you want to be more outgoing and self-confident?" etc.etc.....

In tiny print: "(Side effects include..........EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA AND THE INABILITY TO CONTROL IT....)"

Oh Boy! I just imagine someone being right out there, smack in the middle of the dance floor, and then BANG! SPLOOSH!.....

ewww.........

Yep, But they'll feel so good about theirself...... :D
June 24th, 2002, 07:55 AM
Draggar

2 signs I saw that were interesting on my way home from VA this weekend:

One in maryland:
Speed limit: Still 55MPH

Still?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Also, before entering the tunnel that goes under the Baltimore Harbor:
Remove sunglasses.

I still find it funny when I see One-Way signs on the highways in NJ, and they're not near an onramp etc...

Or signs we saw in Hartford, CT: "No Racing".
June 27th, 2002, 03:24 PM
Great White North

A sign on my way to work reads "Dew Worm
Sandwiches" then it changed to "Dew Worm Icecream"

On seperate lines and same sign though I should go in and see what the Icecreams like.

I Will Let you know
June 28th, 2002, 03:03 AM
CodeDragon

Just saw these on the New Scientist website:

From the ISA-UKI website:
"Large dog for sale. Suitable as household pet or guard dog. Easy to feed, loves children"

A sign behind the door of a room in the Dwi Putri Hotel on the Indonesian island of Flores: "In the event of fire stay in your room. A member of staff will arrive in the nick of time to extinguish the blaze."

And finally, on an application form for the British Computer Society:
"Could we have your date of birth (if applicable)"

CD

:D :cool :D
June 28th, 2002, 04:11 AM
Platypus

Under lights at a pedestrian crossing here:

WHEN FLASHING
GIVE WAY TO
PEDESTRIANS

I've never seen anyone flashing...
July 3rd, 2002, 01:16 PM
Visgothy

I just remembered that this summer. On a sunblock that I put inside my car on my windshield when my car is under the sun. In the instructions it is written something like :

"Do not drive the car when the sunblock is put on"

Hey! I did not notice that I could not see ahead!
July 6th, 2002, 09:13 AM
gpint

Not a label, but a newspaper headline.
"Fertile woman dies in Climax"
Fertile and Climax are the names of two small towns.
July 14th, 2002, 12:25 AM
ClickHere2Surf.com

Sing on a road "Water on road during rain" really?

On a microwaveble cake "Warning: Product will be hot after heating" really?
July 14th, 2002, 09:06 AM
Zil

I saw this sign at a closed service desk in a grocery store:

"The Service desk is closed. How may I help you?"

WTF?
July 14th, 2002, 10:31 AM
ClickHere2Surf.com

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Zil:
I saw this sign at a closed service desk in a grocery store:

"The Service desk is closed. How may I help you?"

WTF?<hr /></blockquote>The sign said "How may I help you" or a person?
July 14th, 2002, 11:49 AM
Draggar

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by gpint:
Not a label, but a newspaper headline.
"Fertile woman dies in Climax"
Fertile and Climax are the names of two small towns.<hr /></blockquote>:D
I'm a little suprised that one didn't get **EDITED BY SOMEONE**
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

How about this:
On a car charger (I have one in my hand now):
Not to be used with a home outlet
Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouln't you have a hard time trying to plug a car charger (into the cigarette lighter) in a home outlet???)
July 14th, 2002, 08:36 PM
jmani

I was installing cat5 in a autoshop last week, they had the towel on a roll in the washroom. On the metal container it sair "Do not put head in rollers. Serious injury or death may occur.) What gets me is at some point somebody had to have put his head in the shop towel dispenser.

go figure huh?
July 15th, 2002, 06:35 AM
Outcoded

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Zil:
I saw this sign at a closed service desk in a grocery store:

"The Service desk is closed. How may I help you?"

WTF?<hr /></blockquote>I want one!
July 15th, 2002, 08:42 AM
Commander Klarg

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Scuba Steve:

In tiny print: "(Side effects include..........EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA AND THE INABILITY TO CONTROL IT....)"
<hr /></blockquote>OMG!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />
July 15th, 2002, 08:48 AM
Draggar

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Commander Klarg:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Scuba Steve:

In tiny print: "(Side effects include..........EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA AND THE INABILITY TO CONTROL IT....)"
<hr /></blockquote>OMG!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>I'll second that...
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />
July 15th, 2002, 09:40 AM
Zil

<blockquote>quote:<hr />
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Zil:
I saw this sign at a closed service desk in a grocery store:

"The Service desk is closed. How may I help you?"

WTF?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sign said "How may I help you" or a person?
<hr /></blockquote>It was a sign which is why I was confused. Why the hell would you put up a sign that says "How may I help you" when no one is there? :confused:
July 31st, 2002, 09:00 AM
TheLow1

I once saw a jar of handcleaner that had the HAZMAT warning
"Use gloves and goggles" How in the world are you going to get your hands clean in the gloves????
August 1st, 2002, 02:08 AM
format c:

Crunch time

I once worked in an under ground parking garage and we had these warning stickers on the gate arm boxes warning you not to open up the box and put your hand in there because of moving gears
The decal had a picture of two gears with a hand caught in them, the fingers were all zig zaged , My boss and I would comment on those decals
I guess these companies have to have the dumb labels to cover their butts legaly from the lemmings that actaully do these stupid acts
Now I will be paying more attention for dumb labels :flame:
August 1st, 2002, 09:44 AM
CodeDragon

This was on the European Space Agency Website:

"ESA is sponsoring Spaceguard, a worldwide astronaut tracking project that aims to plot the orbits of all Earth-crossers; more than 300 have been logged so far."

Guess you yanks have sent more guys up there than you're letting on, huh?

CD :D :rolleyes: :D
August 1st, 2002, 09:54 AM
Outcoded

Quote:

Originally posted by Zil
<blockquote>quote:<hr />
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Zil:
I saw this sign at a closed service desk in a grocery store:

"The Service desk is closed. How may I help you?"

WTF?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sign said "How may I help you" or a person?
<hr /></blockquote>It was a sign which is why I was confused. Why the hell would you put up a sign that says "How may I help you" when no one is there? :confused:

You've not worked in retail have you?

That sort of thing exists to piss customers off ;)
August 11th, 2002, 08:06 AM
Platypus

On a box of Maxell floppy disks I just bought, there are 3 claimed features:

"Error-resistant" - * I hope so...

"Anti-Mold" - * Fair enough...

"Energy-Saving " - * Eh?? A floppy disk that turns itself off after a while?:rolleyes:
August 14th, 2002, 04:12 AM
Zil

Quote:

Originally posted by Outcoded

You've not worked in retail have you?

That sort of thing exists to piss customers off ;)

LOL, I just got my first technology job this year after serving steaks to ppl like me for 7 years.:D
August 23rd, 2002, 12:02 PM
Llanelli

Found on a piece of software we recenetly installed for our clients:
"Now with an easier to use GUI User interface!"

On a sign in a cafeteria I was eating
"Special of the day: Roast Beef Sandwich au jus with juice"

And a classic, Im sure you've heard of, but I swear to goodness we have a local place with a sign that reads:
"Tattoos while you wait!"

BTW, if you were a French guy at a Spanish Soccer game, would you hear the chant, With Milk, With Milk with Milk, With Milk

Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole
August 23rd, 2002, 07:53 PM
JAce

I know this kind of off subject,but the last one applies:

The Stella Awards

The "Stella" awards rank up there with the Darwin awards.

Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee on herself and sued McDonalds. This case inspired an annual award ?

The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuit in the U.S. The following are this year's candidates:

1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little brat was Ms. Robertson's son.

2. A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and
medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

3. A Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a
house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's
insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars.

4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded
$14,500.00 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
of Lancaster, PA $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

6. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the
owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while MS Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

And the winner is:

Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City. In November 2000 Mr.
Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having joined the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the Winnie left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnie.

(Winnebago actually changed their handbooks after this court
case, just in case there are any other complete morons buying their vehicles.)
August 25th, 2002, 05:00 PM
techs

ROFL!!!!!!
August 26th, 2002, 11:54 AM
Stalemate

Quote:

Originally posted by JAce
And the winner is:

Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City. In November 2000 Mr.
Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having joined the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the Winnie left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnie.

I'm not sure if the term "winner" applies here. :eek2:
August 27th, 2002, 05:54 PM
styxenstones

Quote:

Originally posted by MacGyver
On a bottle of maple syrup:

"Bottle may break if dropped"

What a mess that would be!

Big mess... and i've managed to break a plastic bottle
August 28th, 2002, 06:40 PM
Outcoded

Had an absolute idiot in the shop today having a go over one of the staff leaving a "wet floor" sign in the middle of the aisle.

The six foot wide aisle that is, that didn't have anyone but afore mentioned ****wit on it, and he managed to trip straight over it, claiming he didn't see it (our wet floor signs are 2 feet tall and bright yellow).

I'm still waiting for either:
a) The lawsuit or
b) The formal complaint over what I said to him.

Dumb signs are there for dumb people. Maybe we should have just let him slip and fall on his arse.

Just remember, the customer is always right, til they leave, then you can laugh.
August 30th, 2002, 10:57 PM
Draggar

Quote:

Originally posted by Outcoded
Just remember, the customer is always right, til they leave, then you can laugh.

From the Demotivators:

Apathy:
"If we don't help our customers, maybe they'll stop bugging us"

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