Ask Stalemate

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Originally Posted by Stalemate

Magic 8-ball says "not bloody likely".

Never let facts get in the way of what you "like", huh... scientists... pffft. :p


Next question.

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:grin:

Okay, works for me since my quarks somehow slipped their magnetic binders last night ... <sigh>

Assume you have an Excel worksheet with a column of Julian dates in it and several thousand rows containing other data along with the dates. How can you convert the column of Julian dates to standard dates, keeping the standard dates in the same column as the current Julian date data is, not caring that the source data will be destroyed?

Keep in mind that we have several thousand rows of data and I have a shortage of lab assistants to do the mind-numbing task of running the same macro over and over on all those rows since some of them haven't yet heard that the "Schrodinger's Lab Assistant" program has ended. :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Dark Millennium

Do you think anyone actually remembers me? :P

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Yes, of course.

Hello.... you.

(Stalemate wonders why this guy has his name in his signature...)

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Originally Posted by Platypus

I know you! You're that Mark Dillennium guy..

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But it's this guy we have absolutely no clue about.

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Originally Posted by rgharper

Assume you have an Excel worksheet with a column of Julian dates in it and several thousand rows containing other data along with the dates...

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Done assuming.

Next question.



PS - Just in case you were actually looking for some real feedback: http://www.mrexcel.com/archive/Dates/

Why does the Microsoft campus in Redmond look nothing like Mordor?

Where does all the time go? :confused:

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Originally Posted by houseisland

Why does the Microsoft campus in Redmond look nothing like Mordor?

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Holograms and fairy dust in almost equal dosage.

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Originally Posted by El_Squid

Where does all the time go? :confused:

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You know, I've been wondering about that myself...

I think it's sneaking out when we're not looking or paying attention, slipping away while we toil at jobs we hate for people who barely respect us by paying us as little as they are legally allowed to do while our kids grow beyond our perception of them as innocent toddlers who just yesterday were crawling under the kitchen table, babbling about kitties, while now they scarcely speak to us voluntarily withdrawing into their own little pocket of "reality" where they'll be as hardened and as perplexed at the fleeting time as we soon...

I need a shot of JD now.

Stat.

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Originally Posted by Stalemate

Yes, of course.

Hello.... you.

(Stalemate wonders why this guy has his name in his signature...)






But it's this guy we have absolutely no clue about.

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Hmmm....I seem to recall posting several times about me...and e-mailing you're gmail account for work on a logo for my site many many moons ago.

As is as I always say...not much to tell but anyone is free to ask :)

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Originally Posted by Dark Millennium

Hmmm....I seem to recall posting several times about me...and e-mailing you're gmail account for work on a logo for my site many many moons ago.

As is as I always say...not much to tell but anyone is free to ask :)

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LOL!

Of course I remember you, fellow canuck. ;)

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Originally Posted by houseisland

Why does the Microsoft campus in Redmond look nothing like Mordor?

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Because Mordor was built all at once and the Redmond campus is a twenty-year-long ongoing project. :p

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Originally Posted by rgharper

Because Mordor was built all at once and the Redmond campus is a twenty-year-long ongoing project. :p

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Then there is the black hole at the heart of Redmond, which is distorting the time-space continuum and sucking down all the cash which comes into its sphere of influence. :p

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Originally Posted by Stalemate

You'll recall similar threads if you've been here a while when I used to do them under the guise of "Ask Grendizer the 100-foot space robot."

Well, this is exactly like that. I was feeling a little nostalgic.

Except for the 100-foot space robot part.


Ask me anything.

Go on.

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Ah-HA! I have a question: When will WebHead sign up for City of Villains and reunite with the gang for fun and games? :D

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Originally Posted by El_Squid

Then there is the black hole at the heart of Redmond, which is distorting the time-space continuum and sucking down all the cash which comes into its sphere of influence. :p

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One hole to rule them all in the darkness bind them?

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Originally Posted by WebHead

Ah-HA! I have a question: When will WebHead sign up for City of Villains and reunite with the gang for fun and games? :D

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To quote Statesman: "soon".

But if you must know, I do not play CoV, although I did buy it twice. ;)

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Originally Posted by street1

When animals are killed on the roadways,What is the persons occupation that removes them?How much are they paid?Please do not refer to vultures and other scavengers.Only address the 2 questions asked.

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Here in Tennessee, the occupation of the person varies as the state made it legal in 1999 to eat it, as long as its not a protected species. Tastes like chicken. :p

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Originally Posted by houseisland

OK, Stalemate. You are obviously a really smart guy.

Let's see if you can give my daughter some help with a first year English assignment at UBC:

If Brutus's obsession with the dagger and the wound in Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar" represents his homoerotic Oedipal desires for Caesar, these twisted to murderous effect by societal repression and marginalization of the other by the homophobic Judeo-Christian heterosexual hegemony, a theme we see replicated in the relationship between Macbeth and Duncan in “Macbeth,” what insights are we then given into the relationship between Paul Martin and Jean Cretien in Shakespeare's “Gomery Tragedy,”….. err Travisty?

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I lied, not about you being a really smart guy, but about my daughter. She is only in high school, and there was no assignment.

But there is no bitterness and sarcasm among privileged, white, male, non-dead, heterosexual, former English graduate students, the sub-Nazi-war-criminal incarnations of evil and oppression that they are, well not much bitterness anyway, well maybe....... and sarcasm...... well...

Anyway, Stalemate, do you think I can take the hair shirt off and stop flagellating myself now that I have the degree?

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Originally Posted by houseisland

I lied, not about you being a really smart guy, but about my daughter. She is only in high school, and there was no assignment.

But there is no bitterness and sarcasm among privileged, white, male, non-dead, heterosexual, former English graduate students, the sub-Nazi-war-criminal incarnations of evil and oppression that they are, well not much bitterness anyway, well maybe....... and sarcasm...... well...

Anyway, Stalemate, do you think I can take the hair shirt off and stop flagellating myself now that I have the degree?

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I haven't had enough booze-ahol yet to know what the heck you're talking about. :p

Can I answer you question with another question?


Oops.

I just did.

can you provide code for 2 interfaces and their associated enterprise java beans, plus a session bean and a facade based on a the Merck Medco model by Tuesday AM?

why do labs have iron stomachs? :p

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Originally Posted by slgrieb

if the world is full of idiots why is it that new ones keep showing up?

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What say to this Stalemate?

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Originally Posted by Stalemate

To quote Statesman: "soon".

But if you must know, I do not play CoV, although I did buy it twice. ;)

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I would like to get back into it one of these days. The money's been pretty tight lately though. Hmm,.. hopefully one day I'll get back into it. :cool: <-- cool guy with shades. :D

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Originally Posted by amyb

why do labs have iron stomachs? :p

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They haven't always.

It's adaptation to the onset of new portable electronics which have provoked the new ability in them.

Previous to 1975 or thereabouts, they mostly ate toys, wooden articles, and rocks, for which metal-clad innards weren't required.

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Originally Posted by shamus

What say to this Stalemate?

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I hadn't seen that one...

I would point him to Einstein's comment first:

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."


Then to this:

How babies are made

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Originally Posted by NooNoo

can you provide code for 2 interfaces and their associated enterprise java beans, plus a session bean and a facade based on a the Merck Medco model by Tuesday AM?

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I'll get back to you Wednesday.

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Originally Posted by Stalemate

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

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:grin:

Why do stores carry a product like a gamecube, but decide not to carry the accessories(i.e. memory card)???

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Originally Posted by Stalemate

They haven't always.

It's adaptation to the onset of new portable electronics which have provoked the new ability in them.

Previous to 1975 or thereabouts, they mostly ate toys, wooden articles, and rocks, for which metal-clad innards weren't required.

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ahhh..thanks... :wave:

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Originally Posted by amyb

Why do stores carry a product like a gamecube, but decide not to carry the accessories(i.e. memory card)???

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Simply because pet stores already carry those in the Labrador food section.

Why does our dog like to chew holes in only my socks, particularly my dress socks, and nothing else? She is only part Golden Lab.

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Originally Posted by El_Squid

Why does our dog like to chew holes in only my socks, particularly my dress socks, and nothing else? She is only part Golden Lab.

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High fiber content, with a hint of cheese.

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Originally Posted by Duke of Rezin

Here in Tennessee, the occupation of the person varies as the state made it legal in 1999 to eat it, as long as its not a protected species. Tastes like chicken. :p

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:grin: The tastes like chicken was Great reply Duke thanks!!Perfect answer for a Georgia boy like me.Tears of laughter rolling down my cheeks.Who gets to eat the protected species?They probably say"Tastes like caviar"

Why does this thread remind me of something so much ? .. ahh maybe this ;- Mr Ed ! :wave:

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Originally Posted by confus-ed

Why does this thread remind me of something so much ? .. ahh maybe this ;- Mr Ed ! :wave:

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Pssssst.

Your age is showing. ;)

"It's been a long time since I was a pony." ;)

Hello... hello... Is anybody out there? :sad:

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Originally Posted by El_Squid

Hello... hello... Is anybody out there? :sad:

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Not really. :wave:

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Originally Posted by Stalemate

I'll get back to you Wednesday.

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It's now Saturday... can I have my answer now?

Why does cottage cheese have an expiration date? I mean really!

And what happens to sour cream after its expiry date?

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Originally Posted by Platypus

And what happens to sour cream after its expiry date?

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I think you have just discovered food additives. :grin: