Why I sigh...

I have a Dell Inspiron 530S (and I don't think the "S" stands for "special") sitting on the bench. It has a dead mainboard. OK, so I found some guy in Hung Long China that says he's got one for $74, but everybody in the U.S. wants $200 bucks for a used mobo with a 90 day warranty.

Called customer and explained the cost of repairs and told them that the machine just wasn't worth the money. After some deliberation, he decided he really wanted the machine fixed. "Fine," I said, "but I'll need to have the cost of the board paid upfront before I order it."

So, the customer replies, "Well, we're pretty short on money. Can't we just pay you when the computer is finished? Would you take a postdated check?"

Makes you just want to say "sure I'll take a post dated check, do you take post dated repairs?"

And I sensed Attitude in the text

User: Per "Supervisor", she would like Adobe Professional added to my computer
Me: Adobe Acrobat Professional is already installed on your computer. Check in your Start/Programs Menu and look for Adobe Design Premium CS3 program folder and there you will see Adobe Acrobat Professional
User: Yes I saw that but I said Adobe Professional, not Acrobat Professional
Me: Excuse me but Adobe does not make a product just called Professional. Professional is the level of the program just like there is Adobe Acrobat Standard. There are other companies that do the same like Microsoft Office Standard and Microsoft Office Professional for example. Professional is referring to the features and capabilities of the program.
User: Whatever. I will let you know if that is what I need.

Of course I get people that tell me their modem doesn't work or they need Word for email installed. One of my favorites is that many people call our LCD projectors "One Beams". Now keep in mind I work in education with many teachers and administrators having masters degrees and some with doctorates.

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Originally Posted by Niclo Iste

Makes you just want to say "sure I'll take a post dated check, do you take post dated repairs?"

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Even funnier is that fact that the same vendor with the motherboard will sell refurbed Optiplexes with 1 year warranties for about what the 530S mobo with the 90 day warranty goes for.http://www.discountelectronics.com/i...duct_list&c=21

I guess it's my turn to sigh.

So my new job has me being part of 24/7 internal help desk. Today is my first day taking calls and my first call is a very irate client. He had one of our techs remote into his home pc over the weekend for him to set up citrix and get it ready to be used for work, today the client tries to log in and citrix pukes all over his pc. So I ask his name and look up his service history. His last service ticket is over a month ago for nothing related to this. Keep in mind our ticket system will not let you enter a name that doesn't match a current user so there is no chance of a typo ticket in limbo. So I ask what tech set it up and he tells me, I check their logs and still nothing. So naturally I have to ask all kinds of questions such as versions of softwares, when things were done or updated and so on. He of course is getting very agitated, I then follow up with needing to remote in, he said the previous tech used some crossloop program. This isn't our internal software and I never heard of it. I ask for his e-mail so I can send a webex session invite and he blows up on me asking me why do I need any of his information and insists that I just start this crossloop program. He then tells me he wants to talk to my supervisor who is incidentally listening because I'm in training. They go over the details and inform him of how I'm not at fault and so on. In the end it turns out we have a tech on the weekend who habitually never logs his calls, and likes doing things his own special way without following any protocol. Furthermore I'm not the only one who had to field calls about his inept abilities today.

It just blows my mind how someone can't log a call, I can understand if it's something simple like telling a user that opening a browser and typing www.google.com is how you google something but when you're doing a 2-60 minute install of software AND remoting in to do so especially on someone's off site system you'd think making a note would be a good idea.

Latest zinger;

In April of 2008 I built a few quad core computers to a customers' specs for machines that will operate 24 / 7, 365, with literally no rest. I pick out the components, build the machines, test them out and pronounce them worthy. It works fine for 3 years, and just yesterday they call me and tell me I foisted a lemon off on them as one failed. After 3 %$#@! years of non-stop use with the same cheap surge. Sigh.

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Originally Posted by Guts3d

Latest zinger;

In April of 2008 I built a few quad core computers to a customers' specs for machines that will operate 24 / 7, 365, with literally no rest. I pick out the components, build the machines, test them out and pronounce them worthy. It works fine for 3 years, and just yesterday they call me and tell me I foisted a lemon off on them as one failed. After 3 %$#@! years of non-stop use with the same cheap surge. Sigh.

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Don't you love customers. Since I have a full time job in IT I gave building machines for sale and only do for myself and close family and friends. Of course the money is not as good that way but I figure I will be their line of computer questions and support anyway so I may as well get them a high(er) quality computer to minimize the issues hardware wise anyway. But many of the machines I built for customers back in the day resulted in too many headaches and I deemed it not worth it. Basically when I got slapped with a lawsuit for building some kid a gaming machine because it did not play his game at the frame rate he desired I stopped doing it. The lawsuit got thrown out thank goodness but still. I had to spend time researching the performance of that game and found that it performed within spec for the CPU and GPU power that computer had at the time. What a pain.

Don't you hate users who think that PCs have the same warranties as cars.

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Originally Posted by Niclo Iste

Don't you hate users who think that PCs have the same warranties as cars.

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I re-imaged from scratch a P4 a while ago, and the very next day the owner's mom called me raising Cain that "it has a %$#@! virus and it was just fixed!!! I calmly told them that when it left my shop, it was virus free, malware free, etc. She got huffy and said " Well, my boy had it up in his room only a few hours and he came down complaining that it had a virus already". I explained to her that unlike an automobile, the computer can be infected seconds after it was cleaned. When an auto gets a part replaced, and it is good to go for a few thousand more miles. I would surmise that your son went to the very same sites that caused the original infection, and we know that your anti-virus cannot prevent that virus.

She cursed a bit, questioned my virtue, and hung up. Her kid called the next day, wanting a "free" fix since it was only 1 day. I declined, and they brought it to me anyway. I suggested a better a/v, and they couldn't agree fast enough. I also suggested junior pay for his music and movies instead of risking jail time and crushing fines. He wasn't as enthusiastic about that.

That's ok I have a user who called me last week, she just expects me to replace a motherboard that was sold clearly used and I always inform them that after 3 months I will not support it. The board was sold to her 2 thanksgivings ago. Not to mention she's a bit of a drive and I'm not doing computer service further than the town i live in since I have a day job that eats all of my time now. I out of feeling bad for her am replacing it but I also pointed out this is my final visit due to my constraints on time. To be honest I hate when people pull this stunt on me, it's always a little old woman who's too nice for me to say "tough luck you know the rules" to.

Guy calls me, says his computer is running slow, how much to fix, etc. he tells me to come over. It takes 7 minutes to boot to the desktop. I need to take it with me, I tell him. I slave the drive, remove a ton of crap, put it back in, Combo fix, Malwarebytes, etc, updates, remove every tool, search bar possible. Remove a rootkit, you name it, he owns it.

Bring it back, explain where he is going on the net, he might want to rethink. I went through the cookies. He tells me he only goes to msn, yahoo, etc. Ok, whatever, just cut me a check, I'm out.

Six months later, he calls, and says I must have missed something, because his computer is running slow. What kind of business am I running, where I don't deliver on my promise.....He threatened to sue me unless I came over and cleaned his computer for free.

I told him that when his computer was in my shop the first time, I copied his drive, and it was stored on my server, which it is, and that every infection, cookie, everything was as it was. If he wanted to sue me, go for it. But be prepared, as I will counter-sue.

He called back 4 days later, says come over and pick up his computer, he will pay again to have me fix it. And he did.

I now have a customer for life.......:)

I prefer new customers. They at least have interesting new lies, and once one offered me a beverage!

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Originally Posted by MobilePCPhysician

Guy calls me, says his computer is running slow, how much to fix, etc. he tells me to come over. It takes 7 minutes to boot to the desktop. I need to take it with me, I tell him. I slave the drive, remove a ton of crap, put it back in, Combo fix, Malwarebytes, etc, updates, remove every tool, search bar possible. Remove a rootkit, you name it, he owns it.

Bring it back, explain where he is going on the net, he might want to rethink. I went through the cookies. He tells me he only goes to msn, yahoo, etc. Ok, whatever, just cut me a check, I'm out.

Six months later, he calls, and says I must have missed something, because his computer is running slow. What kind of business am I running, where I don't deliver on my promise.....He threatened to sue me unless I came over and cleaned his computer for free.

I told him that when his computer was in my shop the first time, I copied his drive, and it was stored on my server, which it is, and that every infection, cookie, everything was as it was. If he wanted to sue me, go for it. But be prepared, as I will counter-sue.

He called back 4 days later, says come over and pick up his computer, he will pay again to have me fix it. And he did.

I now have a customer for life.......:)

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I've had similar tales, some people just need a snapping at to respect you.

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Originally Posted by Guts3d

I prefer new customers. They at least have interesting new lies, and once one offered me a beverage!

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LOL yeah those are great, the one I remember most is the lady who made me dinner then had me do shots of tequila with her as we waited for her system to be cleaned of infections on site.

A few years, I got in a bit of a tiff with a customer who was angry because I hadn't backed up his email before I reformatted the drive and reloaded Windows. He wanted a refund, and sent me his demand in a registered letter, so I called him and suggested he come talk to me before he spent any money on legal fees. I showed him the disclaimer he signed explicitly declining backup services, with his own little note at the bottom: "I back up my data! Do you think I'm [deleted] STUPID!!"

Fast forward a year or so, and he's once again mad at me. This time it's because he's brought the computer in for service and has found his service disclaimer and request for a refund framed and hanging on the wall. well, I lost that job, but those two bits of paper have repaid me about 100 times over.

I'd venture to say that 98% of my customers go out of their way to be kind, curteous, and fair. It's that last two percent that get so annoying.

Absolutely! Aren't the Hell's Angels proud of being 2 percenters?

Somewhat off topic, but at one time I used to do some forensic work for the local PD and some attorneys (before changes to Texas law made this mostly undesirable and difficult) and I've done it in several divorce cases.

Funniest divorce case I was involved in was when I was hired to crack a Quickbooks password. It turned out that the female partner in the marriage was quite the entrepreneur. She had a very profitable web site that was well stocked with photos, videos, panties for sale, etc. Personalized service was also available.

Usually, cases like this just require a deposition, but in this case I had to appear in court. I'll never forget the husband testifying that he had become suspicious when his wife installed Quickbooks and password protected it, but he didn't become convinced that something was up until she quit asking him for money to buy cigarettes.

Changes in behavior patterns are the first indication of something "fishy". Most of the patients I encountered during my 20 years as a mental health aide for the state could not figure out how I always seemed to anticipate their hijinks. People are creatures of habit, and those behavior patterns are big indicators of unusual behavior, which is why I try to be erratic in my habits. That, and a strong impulsive streak combined a short attention span. :rolleyes:

Latest gem; A customer asked me to build her a new computer, but use as many parts from the old one as possible to save cash. No problem, sayest I, and with swift and sure actions, I complete the computer, load Windows 7, and the free version of Avast anti-virus, as she is pinching pennies.

I test it overnight, it works like a champ. I get a call 2 days later, computer won't boot. No idea why, picture of innocence they portray, it just stopped. I pick it up, and find that in addition to the free Avast I loaded, they had loaded Avast premium which they paid $$$ for, Norton 360 that they went to Best buy and bought, ARO 2011 ( Advanced Registry Optimization ) that they chickened out halfway though installation and borked it up, and Symantec Corporate edition. They are "unsure" how all of this loaded itself. But they admit to buying the Norton 360, and wondered why it wouldn't fix everything. Sigh.

See, this is where you are confused. What computer is safer than one that won't boot? How many cinder blocks have you seen with malware infections?

I wager that the infection came from a cracked full version of a virus scan that they felt was far more superior than the scanner you chose. Being that it was cracked is always proof the software is infallible and capable of keeping you safe above all others. Given this information, why stop at one virus scan that is cracked? Truely 3 cracked virus scanners will keep you impervious times 3! The real problem is why didn't you do this for the user before you gave it to them?:thumbs:

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Originally Posted by BOB IROC

...Now keep in mind I work in education with many teachers and administrators having masters degrees and some with doctorates.

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I feel your pain. I work in a library. All these folks running around with masters degrees. I thought they would be smarter than that.

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Originally Posted by Niclo Iste

Don't you hate users who think that PCs have the same warranties as cars.

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You have to explain that the life cycle of the PC is like dog years are to humans.

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Originally Posted by Green_Eyed

You have to explain that the life cycle of the PC is like dog years are to humans.

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I have to do that all the time. I have an age limit on what computers I will work on and it does depend on the job. I felt bad but I recently had to turn down an little old lady that got my number from a former client and wanted her computer upgraded. She said it was a tad old and when I had her on the phone I asked her for the model number and serial number so I knew what I was up against. The computer turned out to be a Pentium - 90 (P5-90) Gateway that she said she wanted upgraded because it was slow and her friend gave her a copy of Windows 7 she wanted installed on that.

I had to explain to her that there was nothing I could do to help that computer and no matter what was done it will never run Windows 7. I also found out that the copy of Windows 7 she got was pirated from a grandson of one of her friends gave her.

I used the dog years analogy to explain computer age to her and I think she understood.

I had a client who brought me his parents Toshiba Satellite Pro something or other recently, and asked me to take a look at it and see if I could clear up some performance issues. He thought the hard drive might have been failing. I killed some unneeded stuff running at start up, and used scandisk (yes, not chkdsk) to repair some minor glitches, but didn't find any serious problems.

That was a big relief, because I'm not sure that I still have a copy of Windows 95 to reinstall if the machine had been really toasted. BTW, anyone remember Ami Pro?

Latest fun time;

Customer: I need you to come over here NOW and fix this $#@! thing, I was surfing the web and reading E-mails, when all of the sudden I start getting pop ups for %$#@! Viagra and... other things... Anyway, when can you get here?

Me: Well, you still owe me $160 from the last visit, 3 months ago, we will need to clear that up first. I sent you three E-mails with an invoice, did you get them?

Customer: Ah... Yeah, but look, I need this fixed right now, I don't have time for all of this crap. When can you get here?

Me: Wow... O.K., I'll be there right after your check clears.

Customer: %$#@! ^%$#@!@! <click>

Me: That was so totally worth it!

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Originally Posted by Guts3d

...Me: Wow... O.K., I'll be there right after your check clears.

Customer: %$#@! ^%$#@!@! <click>

Me: That was so totally worth it!

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Love it!

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Originally Posted by Guts3d

Latest fun time;

Customer: I need you to come over here NOW and fix this $#@! thing, I was surfing the web and reading E-mails, when all of the sudden I start getting pop ups for %$#@! Viagra and... other things... Anyway, when can you get here?

Me: Well, you still owe me $160 from the last visit, 3 months ago, we will need to clear that up first. I sent you three E-mails with an invoice, did you get them?

Customer: Ah... Yeah, but look, I need this fixed right now, I don't have time for all of this crap. When can you get here?

Me: Wow... O.K., I'll be there right after your check clears.

Customer: %$#@! ^%$#@!@! <click>

Me: That was so totally worth it!

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After getting screwed out of a couple pay side jobs I actually will not return computers or leave site without payment in most cases anymore.

Right now I am dealing with an old lady that will not leave me alone. While she is nice and all she is becoming a bother. I recently installed a USB Wireless card in her cheapest of cheap compaq laptop because the mini-pci slot on her laptop does not work. The card still works as I can put it in another laptop and it works fine and no other card is recognized in there. So I got a one of those USB Wireless ones that does not stick out too far and installed it.

The problem she has now is that her internet is terrible. She has Comcast for internet, voice and TV and even when I try to call her back I get a message saying her phone is unavailable all the time. So now every time her internet does not work she calls me. I have told her repeatedly that something is wrong with her internet connection either with the comcast modem/router or at the line to the home. Last time I went over there she gave me a hard time for me charging my minimum onsite visit of $50 just to reset her modem and she left me a voicemail saying I need to come back at no charge. Sorry old lady but you went from nice to pain in the ***.

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Originally Posted by Niclo Iste

LOL yeah those are great, the one I remember most is the lady who made me dinner then had me do shots of tequila with her as we waited for her system to be cleaned of infections on site.

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Perhaps she was after a little more than computer work???:eek:

I had a sweet young customer that, after I quoted a repair price, asked me if there was anything else I wanted instead of money, thrusting her chin to the side to allow me a view of the promised land. Being pretty naive and downright slow on the uptake, I told her no, I had enough bad art t-shirts and just wanted cash. After I repaired the computer, was paid and left, I figured it out. DOH!:rolleyes:

Guts, it would be safe to assume you are unlikely to ever work for this client again. Women take rejection (real or perceived) to heart, and generally can't let it go. If you showed up at the door drooling into her cleavage, you'd be a pig. By not accepting the offer, you've offered a serious insult. Who says the double standard isn't still alive and well? Perhaps you could send her a pretty card, and apologize for being a little confused due to the pain medication you were taking while your vasectomy healed.

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Originally Posted by BOB IROC

After getting screwed out of a couple pay side jobs I actually will not return computers or leave site without payment in most cases anymore.

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For residential customers, I make that an ironclad rule, and the checks go to the bank ASAP. Texas law makes it almost impossible to collect a hot check for services. So, if there's a problem, I want to address it immediately. I'm more tolerant of business; I just nail them down on the day that the check will be cut and offer to pick it up and save the postage. Of course, for established customers, I'm willing to accept a check by mail, though I still prefer to pick it up. Hate U.S.P.S., hate U.S.P.S. very much.

7:30 A.M. and I'm already getting a call from a customer. "Hey, our main printer is still having paper jams after you serviced it."

Me: " I replaced the pickup rollers a week ago. Why didn't you call me earlier if there was a problem?"

Customer: "Well, it was working OK for me, but my daughter just got back from vacation, and she says it's still not working."

Me: "I'm confused. It printed for a week but is jamming again? Where are the jams occurring?"

Customer: "I don't know. My daughter would have to tell you. She's out of the office today, but you can ask her tomorrow."

Me: "Look, I'll just run by the office and take a look at the printer, and see if I can find the problem."

Customer: "Well, I'm out of town today. There isn't anyone in the office."

...Customer: "Well, I'm out of town today. There isn't anyone in the office."

Got burglary tools???

The "daughter" in the previous post is a woman I've nick-named "The Computer Death Goddess". She can kill a system with a single glance. She's also infamous for calling me up and saying things like, "My printer won't print anything! It just won't print!" Of course, when I get on site, it turns out that everything but a single form prints fine, and the problem with the one form that won't print is that she's selected the wrong paper size for the document.

Anyway, I went to their office today, and replaced the feed rollers I put in last week. Maybe the rollers had sat in a warehouse too long and were old and hard. Perhaps The Computer Death Goddess had breathed upon them. For the cost of 4 feed rollers, there wasn't any point in worrying about it. Still could have done without the 7:30 AM call, though.

I'll keep mine short and sweet, we support several thousand lawyers over the phone and my last call of the day is an angry lawyer who feels it's my fault outlook crashed on her 3 times when writing an e-mail that she's put 30 minutes into each time. I'm not going to go beyond that but I will say this.

You don't see anyone walk into their doctors office and punch their doc in the groin because they have cancer. So why do people want to yell at the technician who's there to fix their pc?

P.S. I said this with a lot more colorful words at work once I got done with that call.

Hey, Niclo, since you are supporting lots of attorneys, have you gotten some experience with ProDocs? Do you love it?

Can't say that I have. If it's a document management system we use DM which is the most fantastic piece of crap when integrated with a 7 year old version of citrix.

...You don't see anyone walk into their doctors office and punch their doc in the groin because they have cancer. So why do people want to yell at the technician who's there to fix their pc?

I'd do a lot worse than a groin punch if my doctor gave me cancer!:flames::eek:

Latest gem:

Customer: Hello, the computer you built for me won't stay on. I turn it on, and after a minute or three it dies, monitor, everything.

Me: Hmmm... Are the lights in the room going out when this occurs?

Customer: No, in fact, the computer dies when I try to turn the lights on.

Me: ...Are you trying to turn the lights on with a wall switch? And that is exactly when the computer and monitor die?

Customer: Uh oh... ( Realizing she has the computer plugged into a switched outlet that is meant for lamp lights ).

Me: Sigh...

sometimes that people getting "sigh" when they're not expecting that there's still solution of any matters. :)