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1> SubSeven every computer in the place and play with them during my 2 weeks paid vacation/two weeks notice. (could i get arrested for that?)
2> Walk into the store in my full paintball armor w/ gun and try to do work normally.
3> Walk in. Don't say a single word, just flip the bird and give your two weeks notice.
4> Watch a loud, and I mean LOUD, porno flick on the tech room computer. Maybe I could hook it up over the PA system.
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Life isn't one damn thing after another, it's the same damn thing over and over.
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American Beauty is one kick *** movie. Not sure how i would quit, probrobly find a better paying job and then gouge my old one for about 15k more. No lose situation there.
There is always loading unlicensed software on all the computers and then calling RU Legit on the way out the door for a final F you.
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How do you set a laser printer to stun?
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I would leave a nice, warm, steamy pile of cr*p on his desk before he came into work, then follow the footsteps of my brother (above) and do a cannonball in the fountain on the way out!
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Someone has to sit on the curb and clap when I go walking by...
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Before I got into the tech business, i used to work at a fast food joint. I don't know how it is with our southern bretheren, but up here in igloo-country fast-food people get treated like shi*. I think the real last straw was me phoning in, after i had a car accident, and them INSISTING that i arrive for work at my scheduled time (i was in the hospital at the time). He even offered to get the delivery guy to pick me up.
Eventually i got fet up, and told him EXACTLY what he could do with his job, and started walking out the door. This prick ended up grabbing a knife, and rnning after me!
He ended up with a broken nose, and a knee to a VERY important part of the male anatomy https://forums.windrivers.com/ (If only i had my camera).
and YES it is a true story.
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Nicholas "Raijen" Furniss
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Lord of the Smileys
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Visit My Homepage (http://go.to/rffa
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Sorta on these lines. . .
When I was in College I worked at an arcade in a mall. And, as you can imagine, when one is making minimum wage, one is not very apt to take any Bull S%$#.
So, whenever a customer would get mad about a machine taking their money, or whatever, I would say "so?" They would always get mad and ask to speak to a manager, so I would go get "him" "Him" would be the other guy working the arcade that night, one of my best friends, and he would come out STORMING mad. He would apologize to the customer profusely, fire me on the spot, take my keys and demand I leave immediately. https://forums.windrivers.com/ I would leave crying, with my head down and go get supper.
Of course this was all a prank, and he would say to the customer something to the effect "Are you happy now?". A few times, he made people cry, and beg him to hire me back!
Oh, how I long for the days of youthful irresponsibility.
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"What do you think of them Compaq Presarios?"
"Well sir, I personally wouldn't buy any product whose middle name is sorry"
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I would bring in all the viruses I could find and put them on the servers and site back and watch all hell break loose and when they came to ask me to fix it tell them I want a raise, better benefits and then think about it four about a day and then probably fix it the next day. If they give me a big enough raise.
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When all else fails jiggle the cable and reboot
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I worked for a computer rental company a few years back, after exactly 6 months I told the boss I wanted him to fire me because I'd rather collect unemployment then work for him.
Now that I'm smarter and have admin passwords, I do a little dammage on the way out....
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I'm just trying to keep from losing my mind!
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My last day on a warehouse job a couple years ago, I decided I wanted to go out with a bang. So, I dropped some acid when I got to work, and spent the day dancing throughout the aisles. My coworkers had almost as much fun as I did that day, as the boss was out for most of the morning. When he finally showed up, it was very difficult to appear somewhat normal, but he never suspected. They even threw me a going away party that afternoon!
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I would walk calmly into the boss' office and say;
"Well, my research here is done. I've kindof gotten attached to ya kid, so I'll see what I can do when they come for you, but I can't make any guarentees."
Then I would look down at my watch and say;
"Time to go, cya in the mines."
Then I would bolt out the door taking off the company shirt as I go (I'd be wearing an undershirt). Outside would be one of those black tinted official looking Ford Explorers with the open side door that I would jump into. The truck would of course peel away before I even got the door closed...
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weirdest and ashamed, but I was 16 at the time, my boyfreind got in a car accident and I had to leave town to be with him. I wasn't sure on his condition so I couldn't garentee a return date and I quit. All made up. It was telemarketing and I hated it. I was only there for a week. I still feel bad about the lie.
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When I quit my last tech job I gave my notice in the morning right after our "am update meeting" I drove a truck around all day setting up 3 small networks for different clients and when I got back to the office they gave me my 2 weeks pay and told me that I could work out the weeks or not. Needless to say I didn't show up again. The best part of it was that I danced out the door singing Celebration high fiving ex-coworkers!
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Relaxing in the corporate world!
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can't do it and be original.....
post office workers have been there done that already....
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I worked for a now defunct computer manufacturer that hadn't given us anything but **** for 3 years. I had decided that because of the "employment at will" clause, I thought I'd skip the usual 2 week crap and just quit or let them fire me for the unemployment. The night before I left all of my co-workers threw me a going away party at a local German Beirhaus (yum - Dab!), stayed at my girlfriends that night and went in without a shower, combing my hair, etc.
I got in before my boss, said goodbye to people that I hadn't gotten a chance to, then proceded to his office. I went to his phone knowing he was only a few minutes from getting in. I took his phone's receiver and rammed the mouthpiece, well, where the sun don't shine. Then I thought that his nice fishtank looked like a great place to take a huge morning-after-lots-of-german-beer piss. Just as I was shaking the dew off the lily, he walks in, see me finishing off and was absolutely speechless (the first time ever, I assure you).
Needless to say I got a free psych eval and 2 months paid time off. First day back I quit!!!
When you screw with the wrong people... ;-)
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Gave my two week notice didn't show up for first week cause I could got the second week on paid vacation. When I got back from my time off boss didn't take me serious and scheduled me for work guess he figured I was went I didn't show up to work.
Sucked to be him, he quit a week later.
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Later days and better leis!!
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I worked for an ISP as a SysAdmin. So I was incharge of the entire network and manager of the tech dept(3 full time internet techs). Anyway, the owner was a total *** and didn't know anything about computers. He came stroming over from his office located accross town and demanded the root password. I refused to give it to him becuase he has no reason to even touch that network. He said "their is something wrong with that web server I know it." I asked him "like what?" He said that "a customer (his neighbor) posted his personal website and it didn't take." So after round and round and threatening me with my job I gave him the root pass. He totally screwed up the web server. At this point I could care less. He turned around and yelled at me loud enough to where the customers who where talking to the techs could hear. He said "fix this damn thing before I get back to my office." And stormed out. I told all of the techs to hang up the phone. They finished their conversations with the customers and then logged off the phones. I asked them to raise their hand if they are sick and tired of his (owner) damn wining. They all raised their hands. I then replied "who is willing to walk right now?" They again raised their hands. So we threw our pagers on the desk and I walked out the back door with the whole tech dept behind me.
Come find out. The customer (his neighbor) was publishing his personal site to a frebie site on the net.
Do you think I was too harsh?????
