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Something in the deep.......
http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl...7/img/laun.jpg
Large squid lights up for attack
"The squid are far from the sluggish, inactive beasts once thought."
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http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
...and Sukie the 43ft long Squid leapt out of the water, arms a-flailing, as arms have never flailed before ... screaming with all her might that this music, so amazingly 'over there' was reaching the very depths of her being .. heart ... stomach ... wherever it was ... then she espied ...
... a neighbour - Mr. Simeon Sperm Whale, that is - all 65 feet of him. He gave her a knowing wink, and with a mighty flap of his flukes, he ......
and with a mighty flap of his flukes, he ......Began to Chortle and it got
worse every second until..........................
... the intensity of the sound waves caused an underwater volcano to erupt, spewing mega tons of molten lava and ash into the sea. Before long a steaming heap of igneous rock protruded out of the depths into the air above, forming a small, oddly shaped island. Soon, a passing seagull made a substantial guano deposit upon the new island, welcoming it to the world above. <squawk>
There was a synchronous fourfold rumbling in the collective unconscious: at the very moment the seagull droppings splattered on the virgin oceaninc rock outcropping, Sting looked at his finacial statements and thought about calling up Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland; Carl Gustav Jung rolled over in his grave; and the colesteral blockages in Wee Tommy's arteries reached a critical mass.
Wee Tommy struggled for breath. He broke out in a sweat. His vision blurred. The half-eaten McHaggis burger slipped from his hands and he slumped forward face-first onto the tartan-patterned arborite of the table before him. As he spiralled down into the darkness, a series of incomprehensible images swirled around him in a blur.
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/image...tough_6666.jpghttps://forums.windrivers.com/http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...px-Billy_1.jpg
http://www.sillyjokes.co.uk/images/d...ical-jimmy.jpghttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...ch_10_year.jpghttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi..._1980_Crop.jpg
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...family_guy.jpghttp://www.awa.dk/whisky/cragganmore/cragganm.jpghttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...low_album).jpg
http://www.bbc.co.uk/tyne/hollywood_...an_bike150.jpghttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...ear_bottle.jpghttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...48/Willied.png
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...close_crop.jpghttp://www.awa.dk/whisky/lagavuli/lagavu16.gifhttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi..._usgp_pits.jpg
http://www.it-serve.co.uk/jimmyshand/shandstatue2.jpghttp://www.laphroaig.com/uploads/ima...arter_cask.jpghttp://www.memorabletv.com/showsaz/hamish2.jpg
http://www.rampantscotland.com/edinb.../bobby233e.jpghttps://forums.windrivers.com/http://www.hyder.demon.co.uk/kenMulhouse.gif
There was faint ghostly singing rising from the depths of blackness:
"Oh! ye'll take the high road and
I'll take the low road,
And I'll be in Scotland afore ye;
But me and my true love
Will never meet again
On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond."
Then suddenly just as Wee Tommy was about to reach the terminus of the low road to enternity, there was a blinding flash of bluish light and a blaring of the pipes and a rattling of the drums:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi.../Brave_mel.jpg
A brisk highland zephyr arising out of nowhere wafted up Wee Tommy's kilt, and he pulled himself back from the blackness. There was a loud slurp follow by an ingressive vacuum pop as he rose to his feet, extracting the McHaggis swivel stool from between his pendulous buttocks. He brushed the burger detritus from his once proud tartan, bent his massive bulk to pick up his pipes, and then waddled out the door.
Stopping for a moment to regard his reflection in the McHaggis windows, he straightened his Tam O'Shanter and pulled himself up.
He waddled down past the sleazy Taco Del Mar to the corner of Lonely Street, crossed the intersection and lumbered into the Silvestrus Paw(n) Shop on 1 Street. The proprietor, a mangy-looking black and white tom cat with shifty eyes, stared at Wee Tommy coldly.
With a newfound iron will, Wee Tommy held his gaze and stated flatly, "Och... I'll be need'n me broad sword back.. if'n ye dunna mind!"
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http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
While the audience waited, thinking the cat seems to have got its own tongue here, the narrator turned momentarily to the mods, took off his straw boater, twriled his cane, and began to tap dance and sing,
"Oh where have all the edit buttons gone?
Long time passing.
Oh where have all the edit buttons gone?
Long time ago.
Oh where have all the typos gone?
Long time passing.
Oh where have all the typos gone?
They haven't; they're stil here."
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http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
... Marie looked totally amazed and began to scribble hurriedly in her notebooks ... then decided to use her new Edirol R-09 to record it all live ... she poked the microphone towards Wee Tommy, being careful not to tread on his kilt ... and was soooooooooooooooooooo excited to capture her first real Scottish voice ... edit buttons still needed, but typos, writos, erasers were gone ... just a question of sorting her bits ...
Estradiloptomus espied her recording and sought to get a copy of this amazing event plus the current red moon ... so he ...
was so overcome by excitement that he rushed out of the building for fresh air. At the precise moment he reached the sidewalk, a delivery truck driven by a drunken redneck momentarily confused about which side of the street he should be driving on hopped the curb and crushed him into a smear of shredded flesh and ruptured vital organs.
Still, the mutilated tissue continued to throb slowly, gradually collecting into an unholy mass which...
.... in the manner of similar gelatinous masses in similar stories since time began and gelatinous masses evolved, coalessed into a new, somewhat messier shape than the original Estradiloptomus it had been.
Rising ominously to the full stature now afforded, the undefinable creature slurred, ......
...Mya I inrotuce myeslf? I am Estradiloptomus. I aveh wachtde yuro palnte 4 a lnog emti and wolud ikle ot yas ttah ti si a fulwnoder lacep. I wloud ikel ot ivel ereh fi uyo wolud aveh me?
To which Tommy replied ...
To which Tommy replied ...
Whuh-bit- Dib-bit-You-bit Say-bit?
It wool be an owner to aveh you-bit.
And Boy George sang: Karma, karma, karma, chameleon...
Where's my brain, I nearly logged on as 'Estradiloptomus'
Estradiloptomus looked so happy, he seemed to rise out of the sludgy, wudgy mess that he'd been reduced to ... so he stood up again (as is the way on this Planet) .. and said to the crowd of 3, 'I ma os ppahy htat uyo wshi em ot ayst dna I evah ot yas taht I ma na trepxe no yrtneprac, os fi anyone dluow ekil yna sboj enod, kaeps won .................. ?
Just as a small cyborg wombat, tarted up awkwardly in lipstick and high heels, comes teetering down the sidewalk.
Meanwhile, inside the Sylvestrus Paw(n) Shop, Wee Tommy and the proprietor are engaged a heated argument over the pawn ticket for Wee Tommy's broad sword.
Bob DelaRue, the mangey tom cat proprietor, hisses, "No money! No sword!"
Wee Tommy reaches for his pipes.....
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http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!