The most creative way too....

Some of these are great. So far my favorite one is: KPATASKA

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I got in before my boss, said goodbye to people that I hadn't gotten a chance to, then proceded to his office. I went to his phone knowing he was only a few minutes from getting in. I took his phone's receiver and rammed the mouthpiece, well, where the sun don't shine. Then I thought that his nice fishtank looked like a great place to take a huge morning-after-lots-of-german-beer piss. Just as I was shaking the dew off the lily, he walks in, see me finishing off and was absolutely speechless (the first time ever, I assure you).

Needless to say I got a free psych eval and 2 months paid time off. First day back I quit!!!

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Dude....that is the ultimate F#*K YOU!!!
I ended up hating one of my Bosses so much that I started flirting majorly with his wife. Very good looking woman and in great shape for 40. (Mind you I was 19 at the time) Anyway I got her so into me that it was easy to bed her down (******* boss never paid any attention to heranyway) I got her in the storage room one day and I set it up so he would end up coming in there (Took all his paper out of his printer Hee Hee) and he walked in on us. I was happy to leave and they ended up separating. About a year later his whole business went belly up. I ran into him in a bar a few years later and he thanked me for getting him out of the relationship with his wife and because of him catching us he didn't have to pay alimony however he was probably full of it. The guy was bombed in the bar. I also came to find that his xwife married some guy worth millions so she is happier now as well. Seems like everyone's better off now.


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I like smelling moth balls. The hardest part is getting their legs spread.

Oh breakwindows........Opie and Anthony rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SYNDICATION NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[This message has been edited by u8drtsox (edited December 14, 2000).]

Simple but effective ,just just stroll on in to work without pants.

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~Clowns scare me~

I worked at a place where the boss was always late doing the schedule. (Usually done on Fri. for the next day) I had gotten hired at a new job the night before, so about 3/4 the way through the day I saw her working on the next weeks (and days) schedule. I then said to her "Don't put me on the schedule for next week, this is my last day." She wasn't real happy and said about how you were supposed to give two weeks notice, etc. I just walked away. A few minutes later the HR person showed up in my dept. (This was a large Dept store) I then had to go to HR for an "exit interview". On the way there I got the 2 weeks notice thing again. She then stated "Since you didn't give two weeks notice you realize you will never be able to be hired by our company again". I looked at her and said "SO?" Her reply was an insightful "I can see that doesn't bother you." Nope, not one bit, thats why I quit!

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Originally posted by Cable Modem Tech:
go to work naked, insist that it is normal and that your new found " tool " helps you hold coiled up cat 5 cables while your hands are full

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As a fellow cable modem tech for AT&'x' (replace the 'x' with the correct initial), I personally agree. However, you could do one worse. Launch a DoS attack inside the network and have all the information sent directly to your boss' email at work in HTML with a 1px by 1px pornographic image URL attached. Yep, that should do it.

Hi dudes. When you have a boss like the one I have. You just don't have no other choice that to LIE!! to him. I have been working in this computer small business for 7 years and I and tired of the watching what we doing every move I do. Giving us bad looks like it hurts his feeling to pay us. So I asked him for my vacation and he avoids me every time I talk about my vacation (He is smelling that I want to visit my brother but also want to look for a job.). So I am improvising a plan where my brother is going to send somebody on his unit to call like he is badly hurt. So I can take my emergency vacation and my brother will be waiting for me in good health to help me get a job like a technician in his unit and I can quit this hellhole. I will be the happiest person in the world. This is what you have to do when you have a boss like the one I have. Lie; improvise a plan (somebody is sick I have to go.) get two weeks off and find another job while you gone and then come back and resign. Give him the hook up.


PS: If I leave him. he will not have no full time technician and no senior tech.

I think the funniest thing would be to cruise around in the company car, while goin to interviews and dropping off resumees...when you get a good lead and are pretty sure you have the job....put "job hunting" on the milage log. then use all of your co-workers as a reference

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hear that sound? thats me shakin the pillars of heaven baby.

WHAT'S A JOB???????????????????????

Well I did It!!!
Decided to work for a rival company (in the U.K.) for twice the 'DOSH' and said simply 'F*** Y** Stan, My balls may be black and blue but new MD is color blind!'
Work that one out.

i used to work for a security company as the night supervisor. i also ran the network (1 server and 4 workstations) and did all scheduling/payroll. i had keys to doors, the patrol cars the firearms lockers and all filing cabinets and offices in the building. when i decided to quit i went home on lunch in one of the patrol cars, changed clothes, gathered up my uniforms and all material related to the job, (books etc,..)
went back to the office and droppped all of my gear and my keys on the capts. desk (at about 330am), rewrote the autoexec.bat file on the server."format c: /u /autotest"
and walked out of the office locking it on my way out. the phone didnt stop ringing for 2 weeks.



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CoreLogik - "I Control Your MotherBoard"
Emotion Is Irrelavant
[email protected]

Those ways of quitting can backfire, too....

While I have never had the opportunity to quit a job in grand style (never worked for some of the hellions I just read about!), I remember back when I was assistant managering a fast-food joint (hey, I was putting myself through tech school!)....

One of our employees was a real ***; always late, surly to the customers, couldn't keep his area clean, the usual. Well, eventually, we started working up the paperwork to fire him.

THAT DAY, this kid (19 years old) picks a fight with one of the shift leaders right in the middle of lunch rush (I think it was about serving raw french fries or something). I step in to try to calm the situation, and this jerk starts in on me. Then my boss gets in his face and the kid turns on him. BAM! You're fired!

Kid strips out of his uniform right down to his skivvies (in front of God and everyone) and storms out. (Kid weighed about 300 lbs - not a pretty sight.)

Well.......

About four months later, Kid shows up and wants to order food like a regular customer.

Needless to say, I took rather great glee in refusing him service. He'd already paid, so I did a refund on the register and tried to give him back his money (his food was already ready). He got pissed, screamed at me (at which point my boss came out, saw who it was, and backed me up), and stormed out of the place leaving his cash on the counter. We never saw him again as long as I worked there.

(Note: he'd spent about $10 on lunch - guess who got the cash?) https://forums.windrivers.com/

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Required Disclaimer: The opinions expressed herein are my own and not those of my employer.

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Originally posted by u8drtsox:
Oh breakwindows........Opie and Anthony rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SYNDICATION NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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More like "Detonation now!" https://forums.windrivers.com/



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Either drop the Windows out of your computers, or drop your computers out of the windows.
BreakWindows

...once photocopied my hairy, sweaty naked ***, and left it on the boss's desk with two words...KISS THIS!

You could burn down one of the servers. Throw linux or NT on it and turn it into a Counter-Strike game box or whatever flavor game you like. Then host the game on the company LAN. If you don't have a techie boss they may never find out. You might have to bring it to their attention.



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God don't let me be as stupid as an executive.